forgive and forget
forgive and forgetThe eyes of his are so red, stinging too much from all the crying, but he barely feel the burning in them, because he got used to it by the moment he is looking out of his window
The city lights were glittering. Dancing a y dance in place, that the stars looked ugly above the shining dots of the big place
The air so fresh that it makes him chock several times
Just so cold, like his heart right now
The breathes he takes makes him shiver
“you are gonna see things you might not wanna see”
But even this sentence ,, didn’t prevent him from doing what he found right to do
but the community he lives in.. is just against him, against his true self
Thought they knew him, thought he was loved between all his people and friends
He is alone now
Not even his everything, that one person, left
Why?
He was tired of asking
Thought this person told him “I know that there are a million of others like us” thought these words were said ,, still that person, disappeared
Was he deceived by the beautiful words? The –what seemed to him- loving kisses?
Or was he really wrong for his doing?
Was he really ‘a filthy creature’? he wondered
“I do love you too”
Was it a lie
“babe, better watch your steps”
Even these caring words?
How?
That one most memorable night of the used to be couple
“I don’t wanna hide any part of me from you”
That night of their unite
“Honey, I love this, I love you, I love us”
Did you really even liked the one we are? Were?
“you told me that they can, understand the way I am”
So why you back away now?
So why are they against me?
So why are they disgusted?
These weren’t questions, but they were wonders, they were blames for the deceived trust of his
Because it never was and never will be something people would accept naturally
“babe, do you really wanna hurt me?”
“believe me, i wont”
That conversation of trust they had back then, the one they decided to open up to the world
“babe you and I, always you and I, forever you and I”
You and I
Yeah, you and I
That one of the other million promises they made
the promises that never got true, the promises that never stayed the same
because they were never made from a pure heart to start with
“I miss you, I love you”
The most common sentence of six old letters
The same letters of the few words he, yunho, said after leaving.. then disappeared
How long must he, the one awaiting man, gotta wait until his everything come back?
Such a hard question right?
Such a question that always held the same answer, but jaejoong, never wanted to believe
“he is never coming back”
No he is, he will once he finishes his work
“what a work trip that takes 4 years already?”
………..
What job that takes all this time?
A question he didn’t want to answer too
And because of the tons of the unanswered question marks, he felt burdened
“pay for your sins” that old man of his hissed
Yes, he had to pay, he had to suffer
But he knew better; even if he felt the pain, even if he drank a poison, this arrogant society wont ‘forgive and forget’
He just knew
And he knew how to end it, the only way to end everything, the only road to find his peace again from his hell
The only way is, to die
because he was Gay
The result of a man loving a man
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hey dear readers, this is something really wierd i wrote here
WHEN DID I START WRITING YUNJAE????
yeah i know,, but this is my first time.. they fitted in this oneshot :P
comments are loved ;)
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