Ilario and Herve were childhood friends, best friends from the moment they laid eyes on each other until they came out to each other as young teens. From that point on they were no longer only best friends, but had become lovers too. If one were to ask the two at what point they had fallen in love, neither would be able to give you an answer. Perhaps they had always loved each other but things were about to become difficult for the young lovers.

A year after the two confessed to one another, the world broke out into war. Ilario, being 19 at the outbreak of war, was conscripted into the army following France’s involvement in the war. The two bid each other tearful farewells, fearing they may never see one another again. But their luck would prove to be most in their favour, as two years later Herve is drafted into the army, and into Ilario’s unit no less. Herve’s entrance into the army becomes a teary reunion after having been separated for two years.

For the few years of the war, Ilario is Herve’s commanding officer. The two make the most of their time together, spending all of their down time together. Of course, the other soldiers found it a little odd. But none wish to be at the receiving end of their commanding officer’s legendary anger. Ilario was a strong soldier and incredibly strict with his unit, but whenever it came to Herve, he couldn’t bring himself to be strict. His lover would always be his weakness. And again of course, this is something that didn’t go unnoticed by the other soldiers, and it was something they liked to use to their utmost advantage, always sending Herve to request things such as allowing them to play games that were usually banned. Ilario wasn’t fond of his soldiers playing games such as poker as they always played for food rations, and it always ended in fights. But with the gentle persuasion of the young Herve, Ilario let them play – with the condition of playing for fun, however.

January 27th 1917, a date that means nothing in history, but meant everything to Ilario and Herve. That day was their last day in a unit together, the last time they could be together until the war was over. They had lost too many members of their unit to the war, and so they were to be split up into other units. The two shared yet another teary moment together before parting their separate ways once more.

The two fought on bravely in the war, both receiving high praise from the higher ups. Eventually Herve became the commanding officer of his own unit, he couldn’t help but think of how proud Ilario would be when he heard. Their second separation had really devastated Herve, he truly felt at a loss without Ilario by his side and he liked to think Ilario felt the same, and he did. Ilario would spend his free time writing letters addressed to Herve, hoping that he could one day give them too him. They were like diary of his thoughts and experiences whilst they were separated. Ilario imagined that Hervé would laugh at him, but would ultimately keep them and treasure them forever.

Almost 2 years later, the war was announced to be over. The first thing Ilario did when he heard it was over was search for Herve, nothing else mattered to him anymore. He’d lost an arm during the war due to gangrene from a gunshot wound, but he didn’t care. He had to survive for Herve, they could finally be together for good if he survived the war, so he did. Ilario asked every soldier he saw if they’d seen or knew where Herve was, but none could give him an answer. Then he asked his own senior officer, who quietly handed him a sheet of paper, a list of soldiers missing in action.

November 22^nd 1918, 11 days since the war ended, Ilario’s life ended. Seeing Herve’s name on that list was more painful than any gunshot wound, more painful than any wound infection, more painful than losing his arm, losing his comrades, everything. On that day Ilario stepped out onto the war ridden planes, and stuck a gun to his head, falling down amongst the comrades he had left behind. Any life without Herve wasn’t worth living. But the most heartbreaking thing, is that Herve wasn’t gone.

A week after Ilario’s death Herve emerged from the trenches having been on the search for other soldiers who were still alive and for those that needed medical attention. The last thing he imagined he would hear stepping into Paris was that his other half was gone. Herve couldn’t believe it, he thought Ilario would have wanted to be together now the war was over, and then he was handed a stack of paper. The soldier told him the papers were found on Ilario’s body when he died, and they were all addressed to Herve. Over the next few weeks Herve cried out his heart and his soul reading through the letters, feeling the pain of losing Ilario and feeling the pain in Ilario’s stories. He could just imagine Ilario writing them, hoping to give them to him some day. But he hoped this wasn’t how Ilario intended him to receive the letters. Herve thought his heart couldn’t break any more, until he read the last letter, dated November 22nd 1913.

My dearest Herve,

You will never read this letter, for you are now in a better place. I hope they’ve been treating you well beyond the golden gates. I pray that I will be with you soon. Knowing that you are no longer in the same world as me tears me apart. I cannot breathe, I cannot move, I cannot think without breaking down. Life truly isn’t worth living without you Herve.

You were my light and my sun. I didn’t fight the war for our country, I fought it for you. The day I lost my arm, my comrades were sure I was going to die. But I couldn’t leave this world knowing I would be leaving you behind. I willed myself to live with the hope that I may see your face again.

Today I will shamefully take my own life, to be by your side.

I hope you will still greet me with open arms.

Forever yours,

Ilario

Herve broke down entirely, he couldn’t breathe. He wondered if this is how Ilario felt before taking his life, because he too felt like life was no longer worth living. But Herve was never the strong man that Ilario was, he wasn’t brave enough to take his own life. That didn’t matter though, he felt like he had already died. Day by day he was losing his mind, his family tried to visit him and he would only stare at them blankly until they left, and once they had left, he’d stare blankly in the space they left behind.

The next time his family visited, they had brought guests, guest in white jackets. For the first time in months Herve finally showed emotion as they tried to pry the tear stained letters from his hands. He screamed carnally, lashing out at the men. Nobody could take away those letters, they were all he had left of Ilario, they were the only important thing left in the world. So they let him keep them, for the sake of getting him to leave quietly, his family didn’t want it known that he was being taken to an asylum. Even at his lowest point, the time when he needed the most help, the most support, their pride took over everything.

If hell existed on earth, it would be an asylum. Herve felt himself breaking even more at the tests he was being subjected to, the injections, the electrocutions. His mind was already broken, but now his body was going too. He wanted nothing more for an intern to make a mistake and finally end his life. He wanted to tell them to turn up the electricity to the highest but he had long lost the will and ability to speak.

Finally, after 2 years of torture, he finally let go of the world and said goodbye. He hoped Ilario would still be waiting for him on the other side.

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I'm back! Sorry for not updating this for so long but I lost the plans I wrote down, and as you can guess, I found them! I actually teared up a bit writing this, I'm sorry it's so depressing T-T anyways, thanks for reading! Please vote up or comment if you enjoyed it :D 3 more chapters to go! P.S, Herve should have an accent but it shows up as that weird N...