“Gege, where are we going?” I ask quietly. The rest of the car ride has been in complete silence.

“To see a specialist.” Kris tells me.

No one else knows about this, not even our manager. All I know is that Kris told them that I was feeling unwell and that I wouldn’t be able to make it to the next few rounds of rehearsals or performances.

He, of course, would be looking after me.

The engine slows and I feel the vehicle slowing down. A door is clicked opened and seconds later slammed shut. I wait for Kris to make his away around to my side of the car in anxiety.

What if there is nothing they can do?

“Ah, so this is Luhan.” A kind, fatherly voice beckons. I tilt my head to where I believe the sound came from and give a nervous smile.

“Yes. Can you fix him?”

Kris’ words cut like knives.

“Fix me?”

I don’t think I need to be fixed, well not really. I was born like this, and it is all I’ve ever known.

My heart stings. So I am not perfect enough for him.

My heart leaps into my throat and I try to choke back tears.

“Kris, what am I to you?” I ask him pointedly, my tone raising which each syllable I utter. “Am I just an incomplete doll?”

There is a sharp intake of breath.

“No, no. It’s nothing like that, Luhan.” Kris tries to reassure me, and I feel the pressure of the unnamed man’s eyes.

“If this is not a good time, it can wait.” The man assures. I swallow harshly.

“No, just do it.” I tell the man. I have to stay strong, be ready for this.

“It will be painful. I’m not going to lie to you. The procedure is simple, but there is no one hundred percent guarantee it will be successful…”

“Do it.”

The man places a knowing hand on my shoulder and pulls me down a corridor. I am pushed onto a bed and forced to lie down.

“Where is gege?” I ask. There is no response.

“Gege?” I try to sit up but hands push me firmly back onto the bed.

“Your boyfriend can’t be present for the operation.”

“But I need him!”

I start to hyperventilate. The room feels so small, and these people before me are acting like vultures circling around their prey. I feel heir movements, I feel their eyes upon me.
I don’t want this, not without him by my side.

“Gege!” I scream as loud as I can.

“Quick, put him under!” Comes a retaliatory shout.

A mask is shoved over my face, and slowly my heart begins to slow to a steady beat. My eyelids suddenly feel so heavy. I try to fight, but I am drifting into unconsciousness.

--

I wake with a start.

“Gege!?” Once again, I scream at the top of my lungs. And once again hands push me down. I let the tears flow freely now.

“Calm down, please!” It is a female’s voice. Probably a nurse. I can't help but struggle some more.

“Quickly, sedate him!” she screams.

--

The next time I awaken I am more in a daze.

“Try to open your eyes.” There is a tap on my shoulder.

I tilt my head to the side, letting my eyes open slowly. A sudden, flow of light is all that computes. I squint. It’s really white, nothing like I had imagined.

“What can you see?” the doctor asks. I shrug.

“Uhm… Everything… it’s not the same as before?” I half say, half question, hoping this is the right answer.

“Good, good. That means that you can see. You just need to give your new eyes a few minutes to adjust to the light.”

Slowly, my eyes come into focus.

I see before me five other men, all watching me intently.

“Who are you?” I ask innocently. They each address themselves in very familiar voices.

But I am worried when there is one voice missing.

“Where is gege?”

I feel myself tear up again. I’m not sure if it’s just my emotions pertaining to his not being here or my body’s natural reaction to breaking out of whatever the doctor used to put me to sleep.

“I’m right here.”

My fears instantly vanish as I am pulled into a bone-crushing hug.  A familiar warm embrace.

Of course he has been sitting here beside me this whole time.

I feel so silly that I was insecure about it.

“Gege?”

He pulls away and places something into the palm of my hand, something small and round.

“What is this?” He turns away before I can take in his features.

“Look into it, it’s a mirror.”

I look down, and see myself staring at a person with quite distinct features.

There is a tuft of hair, sticking out at lots of strange angles. I reach my hand up to touch it, feel the locks with my fingers. I see a hand mirroring my actions. This is my hair.

My eyes widen.

I touch my face, tracing the jawline, and the person in the mirror does the same. I squeak.

The round cheeks and ears that I identify as my own through touch I can now see with my own set of eyes.

“You see now. Luhan, you’re beautiful.”

Kris turns around, letting me look at him for the first time.

“This is me.”

I trace my finger along his jawline. Surely enough, this Kris is exactly how I had always imagined him to look like. I smile, and feel tears threaten to fall.

But I let them. They are tears of joy.

Kris cries too. There are no words that I can even think of in my head that I can use to describe this moment.

He is my Kris.

Kris leans forward. I watch on in surprise, my eyes widening.

“Gege?”

My breath is halted by a kiss. Nervously, I respond. This is something I have never experienced before, but it is nice. Sweet.

Kris’ lips remind me of fresh fruit.

We pull apart.

“I’m so glad you can finally see me.” I smile, tears still falling. The others inhabiting the room are completely forgotten. It is just Kris and I.

“I’m glad too.”

Kris’ smile is too overwhelming.

--

I let him stay with me in the hospital until I am allowed outside. I am allowed, however, to look out the window.

“Look, Luhan. Those are petals.”

I look towards the sky. It is blue, Kris tells me. The colour blue. In the sky are little flecks. I assume they are the ‘petals’ he’s talking about. They have a soft tone, almost… white.

“What colour are they?”

“White. Pink. I can’t tell, they’re too far away.” Kris says, thinking. I nod.

“They are pretty.”

“Yes, just like you.”

I see Kris’ lips turn upwards at the edges. He places a hand in mine, and I squeeze it. He looks me in the eyes, and I try my best to keep a steady gaze.

“You’ll be ready to leave the hospital in a week. Are you ready to face the world?” I smile, sure that I can face anything with him by my side.