“What are you doing?” Yoo-hee asks Kris when he suddenly became quiet.

“I’m eating.” He says as he pretends to munch on a cookie. But he was watching her as he scribbled on a piece of paper.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Yoo-hee laughs and sips her cup of coffee.

 

They have been dating for a week now, since that day Yoo-hee had told him about her being desperate. Kris was motivated to win her heart. This time, he knows he’s not playing around.

This time, his days were counted. He knows he won’t last long. Unless he agrees to the surgery.

He looks at Yoo-hee who was busy differentiating his coffee from hers. He smiles at her and asks,

 

“Would you miss me if I leave for China?”

“Hmm. I can’t even last a day without you.”

“That’s not an answer to my question.”

“Yes, I would miss you very much that I could die so I’ll follow you there.” She answers and gives him a smile. That same smile when they met for the first time.

“You’re not going to die. I will.”

“And why?”

“Because I’ll miss you too.” He answers and leans over the table and kisses Yoo-hee right on the lips.

 

That night, Kris talks to Suho.

“I will do the surgery, hyung.” He says as he looks into Suho’s eyes.

“Thank you.” He smiles at Kris.

“Will you do me a favour? If I couldn’t make it?” Kris asks all of a sudden and Suho tries to look away.

“You will make it, hyung. You will.” He says and gazes at a star which was losing its light. Just like Kris.

“What if I couldn’t hyung?”

“You will, trust me, you will. You should.” He looks at Kris and holds both his hand.

“There’s this girl, her name is Song Yoo-hee. She’s blind and she’s very beautiful. I don’t know why she got to me all of a sudden but I immediately wanted time to freeze from that day on.” Kris tries to change the topic.

“Is she the reason why you wanted to do this?”

“Yes. I have to live for her.”

“That’s why—“

“I’m not the type to fall in-love with one girl, but I must really like her.” He says as he looks into the window.

 

“Hyung,”

“Take care of her when I… when I…” Kris says and starts to cry. He bows down his head in front of Suho.

“You’re not gonna leave hyung, you hear me? You’re not leaving.” Suho shakes him.

“Hyung, this… I never wanted this to happen. I wanted to die, but when I met her, she gave meaning to my life. She gave meaning to me.” He says in between sobs.

“Kris…”

 

“What if I don’t make it hyung? What will she do? What will she say?” he continues to cry hard, his body shaking.

“Kris—Kris, look at me.” He pats his face. “You will make it no matter what. We’re behind you. All of us.” He says as tears spilled from his eyes.

“Hyung, take care of her okay? That’s my only wish. Guard her.”

“Kris—“

 

“When the sun shines, I think of you. When the dim moonlight is on the spring, I think of you.” Kris recites gladly.

“That’s a line from a movie.” Yoo-hee says, her eyes wide and happy.

“I know. What movie?” Kris leans in a bit closer.

“The Classic.”

“You got it right.”

“I watched that before.” She whispers. Before I lost my sight.

“Do you want to watch it again?” he asks excitedly.

“Kris, look at me. What did you say?” she jokingly asks him.

“Do you want to listen to it?” he smiles as he asks her again.

“That’s not what you said!” she exclaims. “But let me hear it. I could just picture it out in my head.”

“Then, okay. We’ll watch it.”

“Okay, wee.” Yoo-hee says as she smiles.

 

“We’ll stay together right?” Yoo-hee asks as she snuggled closer to Kris while they were watching the film.

“Yes. We will.” He answers firmly. He should not cry in front of her, not this close, not this time.

“We will watch—no, you will watch the first snow while I feel it fall on my skin, right?” she asks again as leaned in to his warm chest.

“Yes. I will watch, you will feel.” He chuckles.

“And you will describe to me how it looks like.” She happily inserts.

“Yes, and you will tell me what it feels like.”

“You can’t feel?”

“Of course, I can but I’m too busy describing to you how it looks like.” He answers and Yoo-hee punches him lightly on the chest. They both laugh until their stomach aches.

 

“I’m going to China for a short while.” He says after they fell silent.

“When are you coming back?”

“After two weeks, I guess.”

“You guess?”

“After two weeks, that’s a fact.” He jokes.

“Really?”

“Yes, because I promised you that I will watch the first snow fall with you.” He answers and tears stung his eyes.

“When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow, at the break of dawn.”

“Why did you tell me just now?”

“Because you might follow me.” He laughs.

“Silly, I won’t.”

“You won’t?”

“Because I’m already inside your heart.” She points toward his heart. She could not see, but she pointed the right place.

“Yes. And in my memory.”

“Yes. And you’re also in my heart,” she holds Kris’ finger and points in on her heart. “Here.” She smiles at him again and tears fall from Kris’ eyes again.

“But, I will miss you.” She whispers.

“I will die from missing you.” He adds and kisses her on the forehead.

 

“Hwaiting!” EXO exclaims as Kris lies on the hospital bed. He was ready for the operation.

“We are one.” Kris says, as he looks into the eyes of each of his hyungs.

“Always one, hyung. Always.” Suho leans in and presses a kiss on his forehead.

 

Tao approaches him and gives him a hug though he was lying on the bed. “Gege, be strong.” He manages to whisper. Baekhyun sniffle a smile at him. Chanyeol gives him a derpy smile behind his teary eyes. Xiumin leans in closer to his ear and whispers, “Baozi is waiting for you after the operation. Be strong, hyung.” Sehun and Luhan, though crying, manage to bro-fist him. Lay and Chen hugs him too but they were crying. Kai and D.O looks at him and cheerfully says, “We’ve never eaten ice cream together. We’re looking forward to that, hyung.”

Kris, no matter how hard he tries to hide his tears, spills them anyway. He manages to give them a smile before he gestures Suho to come closer.

 

“Hyung, Yoo-hee. Song Yoo-hee.” He whispers in his ear.

“I will hyung. I will. This is the least I could do for you.” He answers as his tears fall on Kris’ side.

“Thank you, hyung. Thank you very much.” He says.

 

 

“WE ARE ONE!” Kris hears the EXO members say as he enters the operating room.

 

“Open your eyes.” The doctor instructs.

Yoo-hee opens her eyes to a blinding light, images were blurred but she could already see. Her dad stood close to her and held her hand.

“That’s a first. Your vision is still blurred since it is still adapting. The next few days will be better.” The doctor inserts.

“Will I get to see the snow?” she asks excitedly.

They all laugh and the doctor answers, “Of course, you will.”

 

She smiles and thinks of Kris. He will be happy; we will watch the snow together. 2 and a half weeks more to go.

 

Four days after the operation, Yoo-hee’s vision became much clearer.

That morning, she strolls outside their house. “Song Yoo-hee?” a quite familiar voice calls out from behind.

“Kris?” she answers, her face obviously excited.

The man across her had a pained expression on his face.

“We’re related.” He manages to answer and smile at her.

“Oh.” She blinks and smiles back at him.

“Why don’t we sit for a while?” he gestures to an empty bench right across where they stood.

 

They sat close and the man started to talk. He was tall, had a slight curly hair with the shade of burgundy. He was a bit masculine and his eyes were in a shade of dark brown.

 

“Now I know why he came to love you.” He examines Yoo-hee closely.

“Who? Kris?”

“Yes. Him.” He answers, the same expression on his face. Pain, sadness.

“Where is he?” she asks excitingly.

“Do you have the time? We need to go somewhere.” he hurriedly asks.

“Wait. Who are you?” she cautiously asks.

“I’m Suho. Kris’ hyung.”

“Oh.”

“Will you go with me?”

“Where are we going?”

“Where Kris is.” That answer made her say yes.

 

Suho was driving way too far and Yoo-hee was excited to see him.

“Are we there yet?” she asks for the 5^th time now.

“We’re here.” Suho answers as he pulls up his car in an empty space.

 

There were lots of trees, the place was from the mountainside.

“Kris lives here?” she asks, her eyes widens in surprise.

“Yes, right now he lives here.” He answers as he forces a smile.

 

“Then where is he?”

“Here,” Suho searches for something in his bag and pulls it out. He hands Yoo-hee a long sky blue envelope. “He told me to give you this.”

Yoo-hee does not understand anything but she takes it anyway.

 

“Come with me.” He gestures and walks. She follows behind.

They stop in an empty lot, filled with grass and flowers. There were 10 guys who stood across her, each face stared and smiled at her.

 

“Why don’t you open it and try to see what’s inside?” he asks as his eyes fleeted towards the envelope Yoo-hee was holding.

Yoo-hee carefully pries the flap open and reaches out for the paper inside. She opens it and is greeted with a scribbled penmanship. It was written in black ink.

 

 

 

Yoo-Hee, it says

 

The moment I first saw you, I thought you were just one simple girl that came into my life. But I was wrong. I never thought you'd change me into something like this right now. I’m not the type to fall in love with one girl, but I must really like you. For once in my life, I did not have to try to be happy, because each day I spend with you, it just happens.

Maybe you'll read this when I'm gone. Time flies fast, I noticed. Now that I met you, there’s nothing more I could ask for. For once, I'm thankful I helped a person like you. You have my cornea, both of them. You won't see me again but what you're looking at right now is a part of my memory. You will start to see things from my view. You will see the world now, see the stars at night, see the sunrise and sunset, see the falling leaves, and watch kids play around. It pains me to see you try hard making out what was happening around. It pains me to see you desperately looking at me as if you could see me. I want you to see yourself, how beautiful you are. Nothing else can replace you in my heart, that's how much you mean to me.

I'll miss your smile, that very first smile when I saw you at the payphone. I'll miss how you'd look at me as if you could really see me. I'll miss your fighting spirit, when I was falling apart (though you didn’t notice), you were there to be my vitamins. I'll miss my Yoo-hee. I'll miss everything about you.

I have a heart problem no medicine could cure. I have Eisenmenger’s syndrome, I was too late for the surgery. And I knew it before it had taken place. The hole in my heart was not detected immediately and the only way to cure me was a lung transplant with the repair of the heart. And before things got better, they became too complicated.

I'm sorry I kept things from you. I did not want to worry you, or bother you. You had bigger problems, and I was the least you should worry about.

Don't worry about me. I'm telling God to take care of you, to watch over you.

If He had given me more time, I wouldn't want to. I knew you wanted to see the world badly. I wanted to make you happy, and I figured out this was the only way I could help you. You're my happiness; you mean the world to me. It did not matter who you were because as time passed, I figured out that you're much more than special to me.

If the doctors couldn’t save me, I begged them to save at least your sight. And that is what you have right now.

I'm sorry I never told you everything about me. I wished I had, but I realized telling you more about myself made you closer to me. I did not want that, because it would be really hard for the both of us to part ways.

If I had one wish, it would be that your life brings you a taste of happiness that you brought me. That you can feel what it’s like to love and to be loved. Just remember, behind all those gray clouds is always a blue sky. Smile like you've never cried, okay?

Saranghae.

 

- KRIS

 

 

 

 

As Yoo-hee’s tears fell from her eyes, the first snow falls from the sky.

“That’s him.” Suho gestures to a tomb covered with flowers. Tulips and daisies. Tulips were her favourite, daisies were Kris’.

 

Yoo-hee hurriedly approaches the tomb.

“Babo! You promised me we’d watch the first snow fall together. You promised me, Kris. You promised…” she whispers in broken sobs.

 

His face, his smile, his eyes. Everything. I’ve lost my motivation to fight.

He was the only reason for Yoo-hee to live and now he’s gone.

 

Saranghae. The only word they never said to each other. One simple word that she never heard from him, he never heard from her.

Yoo-hee fell on her knees and cried. Suho walks towards her.

 

“He told me to take care of you.” He whispers, he too was crying.

“I wanted to tell him to fight but he said you were much more important. We’ve talked about this a lot of times already. When I saw you today, I immediately knew why he wasn’t giving you up. And that’s because he loves you.”

 

Yoo-hee continues to cry, this time, even harder. Snow was falling all over her. It has already arrived, but Kris was already gone. What could she do for the next following days without him?

“I’m sorry you lost your hyung because of me.” She says.

“We’re lucky to have you. I still feel like his around because of your eyes. Those are his eyes.” He pointed towards Yoo-hee’s eyes.

 

Yoo-hee continues to cry. She couldn’t say anything else.

 

 

 

You should have at least waited for me, Kris… I wanted to tell you how much I love you too.