The day we were given the lyrics to our debut single ‘Party XXO’ was a very memorable day for me.

We sat in the offices in silence. I was completely scared. This meeting was completely last minute and we knew nothing about it.

My eyes widened as I scanned the piece of paper in front of me and by the time I had finished a grin had formed on my face.

Only a few days ago I was completely scared for my future in the company.

*FLASHBACK*

Jiyeon and I were just finishing off practice and we sat with our backs against the wall, breathing heavily, drinking water and talking. This was what we usually did before heading back to the dorms.

On this particular evening, Jiyeon decided to continue a conversation from earlier on in the day. The other girls were discussing love, relationships and crushes.

“So, who do you have a crush on?” Jiyeon asked casually. My heart started pounding so loudly I could hear it in my ears and I was trying and failing to control the blush that was creeping up my face.

I looked at the girl who had been one of my first friends when I started the company. She was so kind and dorky and we both had a lot in common. When we were together we messed around, chilled and had as much fun as we could on our tight schedules.

Recently I felt myself thinking things that you don’t usually think about your best friend, such as kissing, cuddling in bed and occasionally my thoughts went further than that.

It wasn’t the first time I crushed on a member of the same . The only thing was, I hadn’t had any experience with male or female so I couldn’t label myself as anything.

“Zinni?” I felt myself being snapped out of my thoughts when Jiyeon waved her hand in front of my face.

I’m not entirely sure what came over me, whether it was the adrenaline from all the dancing, the fact that I couldn’t get Jiyeon out of my mind or both. But I kissed her. It was only a small peck on her lips but I did it.

We said nothing more for the rest of the evening unless necessary and I barely said a word to anyone.

I decided to go to bed early because the silence was killing me. Why on earth did I do that? Jiyeon was only just legal! Not to mention I could have officially ruined my dream and my future. I’d been doing pretty well at hiding feelings. Why did I have to go and screw it up NOW?

I couldn’t control myself and the tears began to fall down my face. With all the sniveling I was doing, I didn’t hear the door open.

‘Great,’ I thought to myself. ‘I just had to pounce on my roommate who I share a bed with.’

My body stiffened as I felt Jiyeon slide under the covers and I was grateful that my back was facing her.

We lay in silence for a good 30 minutes and by then I had stopped crying. My breathing was getting heavier as I thought about things.

“Unnie,” I heard Jiyeon whisper, “I know you probably can’t hear this because you’re asleep but I have to get this off my chest somehow. I can’t deny, I like you, love you even. Sometimes as a sister or best friend and other times as maybe something more. The thing is, I’m confused. I never really liked anyone before and the first person I like is a girl, and not just any girl, my best friend, one of the closest people to me. I honestly don’t know what to do but I know we’ll get through this together, we always do.”

I then heard her sniff and I knew she was crying. I turned over and hugged her.

“It will be okay, I promise. How about this; since we both kind of like each other but we’re not ready to be in a relationship yet, why don’t we just wait and see what happens. If we still have feelings for each other then we’ll try dating. How does that sound?” I whispered, my voice shaking from nervousness.

“It sounds like a plan.” She whispered back, nuzzling into my neck, making me smile.

“Good. Can I ask you one thing?”

“Go ahead.”

“Can I kiss you?” I was barely audible.

Instead of replying, I felt Jiyeons lips on my own and I kissed her back. We broke apart a few minutes later before falling asleep.

The next day, as we were about to begin our dance practice, our manager asked us to come to his office.

“I saw what you two did yesterday.” He stated bluntly, shutting the door behind us.

“Huh?” Jiyeon replied.

“It was after your dance practice. What was the meaning of that?” He was trying hard not to yell.

Jiyeon was about to speak but I was quicker. “Sir, what you saw in there, it was an act of stupidity. I’m really sorry. It won’t happen again.”

“I sure hope not. You’re lucky I’m the one who’s dealing with you. Anyone else and you would be out of the company.”

“What!?” I exclaimed. “The company would actually fire someone over something they have no control over?”

“Look, I don’t make the rules. Just promise me this won’t happen again.” He said and we nodded. “Now you kids get out of here.” He smiled and winked at us.

*END FLASHBACK*

So here I was sat in the office reading these lyrics. All I could do was smile at Jiyeon and our manager.

As annoyed as I was about the company being ignorant, I hoped that this song would change people’s views and that this would be a big step, not only for us but for whoever listened to our music. I hoped we could make a difference.