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Chapter 9: Memories and Forgets

If it wasn’t for the sudden stop, I probably couldn’t manage to open my eyes. I groaned when I felt the sour taste in my mouth rushing back again, and I turned my head to see who was driving. It was Jiyong his hands firm to the wheel and eyes focus on the street ahead of him. He looked so irritated and yet so handsome at the same time. I manage to laugh; when I saw his eyebrows rise up as he drummed his slim fingers on the wheel. We had stopped on a red light, yet I still didn’t accomplish to put the pieces together on how I got here in the car. Jiyong turned to look at me, for a moment until the light turned green again.

I sank myself further to the passenger seat, and pulled up the short black dressed higher exposing my milky-white thighs. All of the sudden I had felt a rush of heat all over my body, it was the alcohol that was taking affect in my system especially when I drunk more than what I should have tonight. I looked at Jiyong again; his ears were red for some reason, he then push the button to lower the windows and the cool air brushed against my warm skin.

“I hope you have the worse hangover tomorrow!” he said speeding a little faster.

“I hope so too.” I replied and started laughing; I didn’t know what was so funny. Yet I was drunk.

I closed my eyes for a bit, the scent in the air started bring back memories. Sometimes I wish the memories would disappear forever and make all the pain go away, I wish they would leave me alone. With my eyes still close, I could picture Seung Hyun right next to me my body against his board chest Seung Hyun holding me against him tightly and his slim pink lips on my neck, and me breathing in his beautiful toxic scent of alcohol as the taxi droves us to his apartment. I laughed at the memory, even if he and I got drunk we always found our way home and I always found it amusing how we manage to get home safe.

Yes. I’m still love with Choi Seung Hyun. Sometimes I wish there was a way out of this, this life that made it three times as hard to keep living without him. I am not complaining I am happy but I am not complete, the rest of me is still with Seung Hyun. The memory of him blinded my mind completely, remembering the first night we spent together he was so gentle with me, yet I couldn’t reach for him anymore.

I groaned and opened my eyes Jiyong had parked the car. I heard his slow breaths I knew he was angry at me, not because I was drunk because I made him get worried by not picking up my cellphone when he called. He was looking at me now, I could feel his eyes on me and all over my weak body and I smiled. He sighed and opened his door; he closed it quickly and hard. Yup, I got the best of his other side tonight and it amused me. I felt the door yanked open and my seat belt unbuckled, his cold hands around my waist pulling into his body so I could support myself on my feet. I opened my eyes to meet his nice dark browns ones, and placed my mouth against his neck. I begin to kiss his neck slowly and softly until he groaned in frustration.  As much as I wanted Jiyong to be Seung Hyun at the moment he couldn’t. Damn. Why was I doing this in the first place?

Because you want to stop loving Seung Hyun idiot, I answered myself.

“Stop it!” Jiyong groaned.

I chuckled and we begin to walk, my whole weight was against him and he was the one that was supporting me now. My legs felt scrawny. His arms tighten when we got to the elevator, he lean me a little against the metal wall and pushed the button to our floor. When we got to the third floor the elevator stopped and let a couple come in. They stared at me, probably because I looked terrible but I didn’t care. I didn’t care what people thought about me. I didn’t care about anything anymore.

“What are you looking at?” I susurrated giving the adolescent a dirty look, she moved closer to her lover. 

“I’m very sorry; my girlfriend isn’t feeling too good.” Jiyong apologized.

The elevator door opened and we were on our floor, Jiyong then decided to make me stopped walking and he just carried me to our apartment. My head started to hurt now, and Jiyong slowly laid me down on his soft king bed pulling of my high heels off my feet.  

“Are you going to undress me?” I questioned my eyes narrowed to him, watching him come to a stop.

“Maybe you should undress your-“

I pressed my lips against his and pulled him to lie on top of me, my legs were spread wide so he could lie on top of me. I started removing his jacket slowly without breaking the kiss. His hands made their way to my thighs and he soaked them, the fact that I wanted to forget Seung Hyun so bad made my heart race quicker. Maybe I was jealous because I felt I would lose Jiyong as well. The past was gone now, and there was no need for me to hold on to it but why was I still holding on to it?

‘Please try to love this person. Please. Make yourself love him. Forget Seung Hyun. Forget all those wonderful memories.’ I was trying to convince myself.

“Baby…” he whispered against my lips.

“Hmm…”

His lips were now on my neck, and I pulled up his shirt exposing his tone chest. But then he stopped on his tracks and pulled away from me, standing up. I frowned at first, watching him sit next to me. He exhaled quietly.

“As much as I want you, I can’t do this Baby.”

“Why not?” I hissed I was a little upset now.

“You’re drunk, and I don’t want you to regret anything that you didn’t want to do. Maybe we can try-“

I kissed him again, my body on top of his now. “Baby please.” I begged. I didn’t know why I was begging.  

He chuckled against my lips, “Trust me it’s hard to be a gentlemen when you’re being too tempting.”

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to my feet again, he made me turned around and he slowly ped down my zipper from my black dress exposing my milky-white back to him. I felt his cold lips kissing down on my back and it tickled making me shiver.

“Come on let’s get you out of this.”

The dress fell on the ground, leaving me with only my underwear on. I wasn’t wearing a bra, I felt Jiyong leave me and go into his closet to find a sleeping t-shirt. I felt his body against me again and he helped me put on his shirt on, and then he placed me into the bed and covered me with his sheets that had his lovely scent. I shut my eyes when I felt his body sank into the bed, he pulled me close to him and wrapped his arms around my waist and his chin on top of my head. Within seconds I had fallen asleep.

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I was woken by Gaho’s on my face the next morning, I groan when I felt the pain thumbing inside my head. Jiyong got his wish; this hangover was one of the worse I was experiencing right now. I padded Gaho’s head and he jumped out of the bed running to the living room. The lighting in the room didn’t help my eyes, and it was difficult to unjust my eyes to the bright light.

“Morning Baby.” Jiyong greeted me with a kiss on my forehead.

“Ugh.”

He snickered, “Are you having fun with the headache?”

“I think my head is going to explode.”  I groaned.

“I made you tea to help your headache ease off a little, come on get in the shower and get dress so you can eat breakfast.”  

“You’re not going to the studio today?”

“I think my beautiful hangover girlfriend needs me today to herself.”

I looked up at him and smiled. Maybe he got the message when I got drunk last night; I know he knows me like the back of his hand. But to me, what message was I trying to get across from him? Suddenly I felt his strong arms on the bottom of my body and pulling into his chest, he was carrying me to the bathroom in bride style. He put me down in front of the mirror and placed his hands under the t-shirt and around my waist. I looked at him in the mirror his smile brushing against my neck.

He stepped away from me and turned the shower on, and returned to my side. I lifted my arms up so he could pull the t-shirt out of my body, exposing my to him. Why was I so comfortable around him, when he saw me ? Because I trusted him so much, over the years it became normal. His eyes met mine in the mirror, he seemed uneasy first, but I tried to smile and he kissed my cheek. He exhaled and left me alone to shower.