Eunhyuk sighed, for what Donghae thought was the 21st time that day. 

"What is up with you and your sighing. You sigh like you don't know what else to do." Donghae muttered exasperatedly. 

"That's because I really don't know what else to do but sigh." Eunhyuk shot back. 

"Right." 

"It's 22 months." 

"Fact of life, get used to it." 

"Do you know how much can change in 22 months?" 

"No?" Donghae ventured cautiously, wondering what kind of cryptic question that was.

"Everything and nothing." 

 “What sort of answer is that?” Donghae blurted, immediately regretting further aggravating this friend, “Look, if this is about a certain girl group having their last comeback in perhaps a year's time...”

"You might as well get to the point." 

"If this is about that close girl space friend of yours, who you've been crushing on since I don't know when, it might be prudent for you to just tell her." 

"It is. But..." 

"You only live once. No buts." 

"Company bans dating, but once they disband, she can date. And I may not be there to do what I need to." 

"Just tell her first." 

"And then what do you propose happens then, for her to tell me what I already know, and snub me? Or for me to beg her to wait 22 months for me right after I say so?" 

"Yes?" 

"No, Donghae, no." 

"Then just do something instead of moping around!" 

"If I knew what to do, I wouldn't be moping around. How is that even difficult to get?" 

"Think of something!" 

"Like you could think of anything?" 

"Low blow, hyuk. And I will defend myself by saying that two of us are different. Maybe on the surface we are similar, but no. I flirt because I feel some form of attraction to them, I flirt because I want to, I flirt without knowing what I really want. You, hyuk, flirt to make that girl space friend of yours jealous, not because it's really enjoyable or you're looking for someone else." Donghae proudly finished his mini-speech, proud that he had managed to enlighten Eunhyuk on the distinction between them both.

"Worst part is that she doesn't seem to care that I'm flirting with some other pretty girl." 

"At least you're good friends with her and she understands you." 

"Growing up with her just made her treat me like a brother instead of one of the alluring idols." 

"At least she permits you to have some degree of physical contact?" 

"And then I'll be pining for her for the next like one week. Then I'll always delude myself that maybe, just maybe she likes me too. Which is why I'm still in this pathetic state." 

"At least..." 

"Plus that idiot on dancing with the stars had so much more allowance, and he's known her for like what? Under 6 months? I mean!" 

"Just man up and confess already! You've spent too long acting like a lovesick puppy." 

"But our friendship will be destroyed. A beautiful friendship too." 

"You would give it up for a relationship right?" 

"Obviously." Eunhyuk answered, almost insulted that Donghae would ask a question that was this obvious.

"Then?" 

"I don't get you." He huffs and walks to the other side of the room. 

"I know you'll think of something hyuk." Donghae expresses, with confidence he did not feel, and left him to wallow in sorrow. He was incapable of value-adding to this conversation and he knew it.

-

Eunhyuk unlocks his laptop after checking once again that there's no one in the room, and opens up the folder "untitled" on his desktop. He reads the documents bookmarked as significant once again. It still hurts just like the previous time, no less, maybe even a little more. He wonders if he'll ever break free of this feeling, and if he'll ever look at her in the same way again. Maybe reading all these give him inspiration, he figures. Then he does the only thing he knows how, write. Like he's always done. Only this time it's for her. 

Dearest Hyoyeon,

We've been the closest of friends for years, ever since I awkwardly met you in that dance studio that fateful day. You've been a wonderful friend and confidante all these years, and for our beautiful friendship, I'm infinitely grateful. Thank you for always being someone I can count on, and for always being there. 

We've been through a great deal of changes, from training to debuting to what we are now. I don't think I'll be exaggerating to say that our lives have been completely transformed by this journey that we took separately, but yet were so similar in many different ways. 

Honestly, I don't know if it’s obvious, because I think I'm quite poor at hiding my emotions, but I'm starting to look at you as more than a friend. I mean, not just starting, it's been this way for much of our friendship, just that it's been getting more and more intense. Maybe you'll think that I'm a coward not to confess to you personally, I would very much like to. But Hyoyeon, I'm afraid. Not so much of your rejection, but the implications it would have on our friendship. It's not so much that I'm not sure, I am, but I just can't read your response. Of course, there's always the problem of company rules. 

22 months I'll be gone in the military, and I fear what can change when I'm there, and my inability to do anything about it. I have no wish for you to leave and fly to some far flung location overseas where you'll be a dance teacher, and forget about Hyukjae. I have no wish for some other guy to come hitting on you before you hear what I have to say. I know I'm selfish, but I can't help myself. To say that I have a huge crush on you is probably inaccurate, it's more intense than that. 

Please know that whatever I say for the media regarding ideal types is purely for show. And whenever you see me taking an interest in pretty women its normally in hope that you'll see it and get jealous, childish I know. Other times it's because it would be weird if I don't show her respect by feigning interest. Never once has my heart fluttered for them. 

Maybe, just maybe, you feel the same about me. But if you don't, I implore you not to let this affect our friendship, and I will continue to support you in whatever you do. 

Much love,

Hyukjae

But he couldn't just hand it to her like that, it would be evidence for the company- if they wanted to do anything funny. He needed to keep it under wraps, yet have her find it at the crucial moment. Which was no easy task. He briefly considered entrusting the letter to one of the girls, but decided against it seeing that they wouldn't be able to resist the temptation of ripping it open the moment he was out of sight. Met with a logistical obstacle, he decided to go shopping for birthday presents in advance, lest he had no chance later. 

Then it struck him to pick up a sturdy metal money box, one that couldn't be jacked open that easily. He had then proceeded to the locksmith to have the keys sprayed an appealing pink, and had her name engraved on the key. He dropped by the jewelery shop to purchase a bracelet to complete her favourite collection, as well as a sterling silver chain. 

Satisfied with his plan, he headed back to the dorms. Eunhyuk nicked the paper flowers and other girly decorations from Heechul's room, figuring that he would never