Okay, here’s the part where you’re probably gonna be like “naw I ain’t botherin with this riffraff.”

I kind of at a lot of things, so I can’t make posters or find pretty pictures of your bias. And karma doesn’t really mean much anymore, as far as I know. You guys might think different, though. And I’m not really good at deciding which is more valuable than the last.

So guess what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna have a big ol’ bucket of prizes. First place has first pick, second is next, and so on. I think there’s gonna be five places, but that can easily change before the deadline. I’ll tell you if so.

Here’s the bucket:

• A bunch of karma. I guess. I only have a little, so I can’t give much. That’s like 20 points.

• Advertisements. I’ll go on my tumblr and be all “hey look at this story” or “hey look at this author.” You decide if you want me to flaunt you or your story. And if story, you get to pick which one. It doesn’t have to be the contest entry. I guess I’ll make a blog post on AFF too. (I’ve got like, 60 something followers on tumblr, man. Some people will definitely see it.)

• I’ll write you a little story. One-shot, if you will. Pairing of your choice, if you even want a pairing. You pick the genre and what it’s about. Like, “Henry decides to milk a cow because he wants to travel the world, documenting his experiences with all kinds of s.” If you want , I can try, but I can’t guarantee it’ll be anatomically correct if you want a yuri/hetero scene. (How to ??).

• Or I could just send you some and call it a day

Look! I even made a picture.

Next chapter is what I’ll be looking for in a winner. Handy stuff for you achievers.