He kept texting and calling me, but I didn’t answer. I couldn’t answer. I was hurt. I felt betrayed. I sat outside on my porch and looked in the distance. If it is this hard find someone who I can trust I don’t want to search anymore. I decided to take Kibum to the beach. I packed some goodies for Kibum and I and we started our journey. Once we got there I ate and watched all the families around me. I felt alone once again. I took a Frisbee out of my backpack and played catch with Kibum. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I took it out and it was Taeyang again. He forwarded me a text from my friend.

It read: Seungri is not good enough for you only I can make you happy. Give me a chance and ill show you.

I glanced at my phone, then glanced at the ocean. Why would my friend lie to me? Did he want Taeyang for himself? I put my phone back in my pocket and continued to play with Kibum. I didn’t need any more confusion in my life.

I stopped talking to my friends and Taeyang. I focused on my career and trying find peace within myself. Being alone wasn’t so bad after all. I just had to stay busy. I walked into the gym I had recently joined and went to the locker room. When I walked out I had noticed Kwan was working out on the other side of the gym. I looked at him and walked away as fast as I could. I hope that he didn’t notice me. I sat down on a work out bench that was out of his view. When I put the weights on I felt someone tap my shoulder. I took a deep breath before turning around. When I turned around it was one of the workers from the gym telling me about the free smoothies they gave away. I felt relieved. When I finished working out I went back to the locker room. As I walked in Kwan was walking out. I couldn’t avoid him now. He stopped right in front me.

“What happened? We’ve been trying to get in touch with you.”

I didn’t want to answer, but it would be rude if I didn’t.

“I’ve been busy.”

“Well, take a break! You always work to hard. Come hang with us at the bar tonight like old times.”

How do I always get caught in situation where I can’t say no? I agreed and we went our separate ways. On my way home I kept thinking of different ways to get out of it, but nothing came to my mind. As night approached, I got ready and drove over there. I sat down and chatted with them like old times. We had a couple of drinks and laughed as we caught up with each other. I decided not to bring up the Taeyang situation. I left for a moment to go to the bathroom and when I came back there I was alone with the bill. How could they do this to me? Taeyang was right! I paid and left. I knew I should have ignored them. They just stayed around me for my money.

I was so frustrated. I now lost my boyfriend and all my friends. I decided to join an online dating site so I could meet new people. Everyone had told me to try it, but I have always been skeptical. What if they aren’t who they say they are? What if they don’t like me? How can I trust them? All these questions ran through my head, but I still did it.