A/N: Again...all I'm saying is that I am so sorry if this does not completely make any sense…because I wrote this out of mere disappointment and sadness… Literally I did… I wanted to vent out my frustrations (and what a better way to do that by writing about something…) because I just had the worst of all worst of days…grammar? Sorry...too sad to even check... -_-

Anywho…I hope you guys enjoy though….

Against the World (Hope)

I.

I held him as he cried his eyes out. I sat along with Jongdae at the edge of the bed and had my arms around him; my hands clasped together at his waist as my head rested on one side of his shoulders. My head shook against his shoulders with every sob that came out of his mouth, his hands palming his eyes. I would be lying if I said I didn't cry along. I just couldn't shed a single tear while I cried with him.

I tried to hold him tighter to suppress his cries, but he just pulls himself away, walking out of our bedroom. 

I sigh. But I don't hear my own breath of air leave my lips in doing so. 

I bring myself off our bed and out of the bedroom. As I walk into the living room. I hear Jongdae's painful cries, his body curled at the corner of the couch. Again, I cried...but I couldn't hear the sorry sounds I felt coming out of my throat that was infested from the burning pain in my chest. 

Seeing Jongdae portray this attitude made me regretful...it made me disappointed in my decision. I was hoping that it'll make Jongdae's life better, because things happened when life throws its obstacles at you...things you just couldn't control at times.

It wasn't long till those three hours turned into three days. Before I even knew how long time passed, those three days turned into three weeks. 

I still had to hold Jongdae as he cried his heart out. I couldn't let him bear the pain alone. I cried along with him as well..tearless...soundless, no matter how hard I cried. I was always there with him. 


II.

I usually watched Jongdae pace around the small apartment. He would always walk pass our picture that was centered on the top of the book shelf during the day and night when he didn't have work. But when he did work and came back home while I was usually lounging in the kitchen, he would take our picture and dust off the small speck of debris. 

Sometimes, Jongdae would just stare at the picture until he fell asleep while doing so. Other times, he would talk to the picture. I always listened when I strolled around the kitchen as he talked about his day at work. I usually sat across from him when he talked to himself because it was interesting when he debated amongst himself while he stared at our picture with so much intent.

It was then at times when I felt the need to just put my arms around him to assure him that it will be okay. Because I was still hopeful. Because I wanted Jongdae happy. But I was always the first to cry when I thought about how he'll be happier if he just let go. 

I knew he didn't want to let go, but I finally saw the reason why he would of been so much happier if he just did though. 


III. 

Jongdae and I were never supposed to be in a relationship with each other. We were never supposed to even know each other, never to see, nor speak to one another in the first place. I felt that way because it wasn't fair that our time with each other was so cruelly sweet, memorable, and short. But life was just full of unexpected things. 

I always believed in fate. I always believed in the higher power. I believed in miracles. I saw all of those things when I was with Jongdae. We were both happy and were so enthralled by the fact that we were in love with each other. We were both complete in so many ways.

I always thought it was going to be "Joonmyun and Jongdae against the world." "Double J all the way." That was our couple name...Double J. I gave a bitter laugh at the thought.

Because I was dead wrong. It was never going to be that way now. I couldn't accept that then, but I had to accept it sooner or later. I wanted Jongdae to be happy. I wanted him not to feel the unnecessary weight upon his shoulders.

Jongdae should accept it too. He may not see it that way now, but in time, he's going to. Which is why I'm hopeful.


IV.

I walked along with Jongdae by the shore of the beach when he decided to go there. I had my hand clasped around his. It was strange. I can feel everything, see everything, hear everything, but not hear my own voice speak nor cry. I couldn't even cry properly with tears streaming down my eyes. It was very strange.

Time progressed to three months. 

I saw that Jongdae was still a little reluctant when people talked about me or when friends and family came to our apartment and saw the only one picture of us together on the bookshelf. 

They always asked why he just didn't put up a single solo shot of me on that bookshelf instead of that picture of us together. That picture wasn't a good shot of us together. It was an almost blurred shot of us. I was smiling with glee staring at the lens of the camera at the time of the picture. I held Jongdae lovingly along the waist when I took that shot of us together. Unfortunately, Jongdae that cute klutz looked away from the camera when I snapped the photo.

So that picture that sat on the bookshelf had me staring at whoever looked at the picture and had him smiling off at the world trapped in that photograph. 

I honestly didn't like that picture when he said he was putting it up. I thought it was there to torture me because the shot to me...was really bad. I begged him why he wanted that particular picture out of all the other ones he took of us? He never told me why, so i just sulked in embarrassment over the picture.

Then things happened. Now it was different. Even after what happened I was hoping that he would put up a better picture of us, but he didn't. 

Soon after, Jongdae finally revealed the reason behind that darn picture to why he put it up. I absolutely loved the picture afterwards when he told each and everyone that it was the only picture that I ever took of ourselves together. It was the only picture that held the reason why he framed it up and placed it on top of the bookshelf for everyone to see. That picture may not be the best in appearance but it was the best when it brought out the mere memory of me to him. 

I cried silently and dry every time he explained the reason why it was there. 

That picture I captured through the lens was my effort and love for him he says. I was not a professional photographer like he was but that picture was perfect he says. 

That picture showed everyone that it will always be "Joonmyun and Jongdae against the world." 

"Double J all the way..."


V.

It's now been three years. Now I'm watching him from above. I was finally able to see why I was only given a short amount of time with Jongdae, but so blessed to have been the one to love him and he love me.

I watched Jongdae playfully run behind the couch holding onto his camera snapping away countless shots of a very beautiful tall being trying to get at him. 

How can I be sad about such a wonderful sight? Yes. Jongdae is in love with someone else. But that someone else apparently loved Jongdae much more solely than I ever could. I was only given the time to show Jongdae my love for him and Jongdae show his love for me.

The person Jongdae was with now is the one who gave love unconditionally no matter the circumstance. Jongdae with that person was able to love unconditionally as well. 

I watched the two of them laugh whole heartedly at each other. I wanted to laugh with them too...but when I do...I don't hear a single sound come out of me.

I didn't believe Jongdae would fall in love with someone else but when I saw that person...the beautiful tall golden hair man...I just knew that Jongdae was meant to be with him. It was like I was connected to that beautiful man. His name's Wufan. But he wanted himself to be called Kris. Yes. He's Chinese. So what? 

None of that mattered, because when they met each other, even I felt their connection with one another. They just fitted each other so perfectly. It was one of the things I never thought I'd witness...a miracle. 

I called it a miracle because Kris was like an angel. He looked like one too honestly. Kris opened Jongdae's eyes and brought out the best of Jongdae's best abilities. 

I always thought that I did the same for Jongdae...but I only brought out what will be the beginning of Jongdae's full potential. I only opened Jongdae's eyes for what he was going to see in the beginning. Kris opened Jongdae's eyes for what was happening in the present. 

When I watched the two of them grow more closely with each other, it was then that I saw how Kris opened Jongdae's eyes for the future. The two of them together had a vision...they had what everyone else wanted...an accomplished dream goal...happiness no matter what the circumstance...they were meant to be together for as long as they both lived and loved each other.

The first time Kris saw the picture on the bookshelf, I felt what he felt, his compliance. Jongdae waited for Kris to ask about the picture, but Kris just stared at the picture like it was the most God-forsaken piece of monument.

I bit back my silent cries when Kris finally spoke after he was done analyzing the picture. 

"You both...against the world huh?" Kris soft timbre of a tone rung so clearly around the room like the soft morning cool breeze of the first breath of mother nature waking the world up.

That right then and there was when I understood why I felt Kris and Jongdae were meant to be together. 

Kris is a very wise and understanding person. He knew he'd never replace me in Jongdae's heart because he understood our love for each other from just a look at the picture. Kris still loved Jongdae unconditionally. It wasn't long till Jongdae felt the same for Kris. 


Jongdae thought he was being a little selfish when he didn't feel the need to take down our picture from the bookshelf. But caring wise Kris said it was okay. It's one of the reasons why Kris fell for Jongdae. Kris told Jongdae that if he could keep such a monumental picture like that then Kris was one lucky person to even catch Jongdae's eyes for that matter. 

Not many people kept the past and displayed it as beautifully as Jongdae did and be proud of it. Kris loved that honest and confident entity of Jongdae. So in all victory, the picture of me and Jongdae was left there on top of the bookshelf. 

"Joonmyun and Jongdae against the world..."

"Double J all the way..."

The words that came out of Jongdae's captivating lips were the words he said to me before. "I love you." 

I felt the honesty in Jongdae's words. He really meant it, Jongdae really loves Kris with all his heart. I watch as Kris walk towards Jongdae and closes the gap between them and lovingly kisses Jongdae. The moment they kissed each other, I felt the odd but familiar warmth invisibly coat over my lips. 

"I love you Jongdae..." I whispered to myself but heard the same exact phrase come out of Kris. 

I smiled, overwhelmed with the feeling of my happiness for Jongdae and Kris. I was happy that Kris even accepted me to still even be in Jongdae's heart, mind, and soul. Even if I was not physically there, I was spiritually. 

I felt myself slowly melt and fade away as I bathed in Jongdae and Kris' emanating love. Even though I was not meant to grow old with Jongdae, I understood what I had to do. I was supposed to watch over Jongdae and Kris, protect them. I was glad I was hopeful then. I'm still very hopeful in fact.

Because now, it was "Us against the world..." The three of "Us against the world."

 

- Fin -

A/N: Oh man!! I’m still sad because of what just happened to me…!!! TToTT  but how was it… Yeah…it’s short (I think it’s short) but gosh….!! I am a little disappointed by this…a little…which adds to the nasty pot of boiling sadness, resentment, disgust, failure…all the worst emotional adjective you can name just boiling in my self-being … Oh man!!

So...did you guys caught on to the hints...the hints I threw at you in the foreword? If not then let me explain...lol

So...this whole thing...if you figured out... I wrote this in inspiration to: Lovely Bones (book). And the song that I listened to while writing this was to: Hope (Boa's new song in her newest album...go check that out guys...it's beautiful). Lastly, the title of this whole thing...(I was bitterly laughing at myself...when it popped in my head): Us Against the Wold (song by Westlife...)

Basically...Suho (written in first POV) is dead...he's a ghost/spirit/guardian angel? LOL  I don't elaborate on how Suho passes away...but he is...not alive... So he mourns with Chen... tries to help Chen get through with his death... hopefully you all caught on how much they loved each other... I tried to elaborate that...(which when I think about it...I failed miserably). And finally, Suho finds someone for Chen (or you can say "life" just happened and someone came into the picture). All of this... relates to Suho and Chen's sadness...which leads them to acceptance of their outcome... giving both of them hope for the better of the future...

That sums up everything pretty much. If you liked it...thanks a whole buhnches... and if you didn't like it at all...I totally understand... Becasue this story/drabble was all just written out of frustration and deep deep drepression and disappointment... Sorry about all the negativity...

Well if you want to cheer up and be happy RIGHT NOW...go and check out my AFF buddy Ievunnie… 

She makes awesome posters…if you want one…go and request from her… ==> I' Glamorous Whispers <==

I shall warn you though…her absolute awesomeness will burst you into millions of stars/sparkles/diamonds/whatever shiny little piece of material out there you can name of that makes you blush like crazy... you’ll literally fall in love with her work… just literally!! So GO GO GO and check her out!! Give her some love...(her graphic request shop especially)!! She is too talented and deserves all the love she deserves to get!! 

I love you Ievunnie!! <3 (I love you as a person an artist…don’t you forget that… ^^)

Well I hope a pic spam will cheer you up too!! 

credit: [email protected]

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credit: the watermark

credit: on the watermark