I'm Son Dongwoon. 20 years old. The maknae of Beast, you should know that already.
I can say I'm cool, handsome and adorable. Not over-praising myself, but that's the truth. I'm born with this face and body, who can blame me? :D
Oh well, who can resist a foreigner-like face and a tall model-like great body? No one.

On stage, you see me as your idol but truthfully I keep a big secret from everyone, everyone means every people, including my parents, my members and all of my friends.
I never say this to anyone since I'm sure if I say this on public or even my members, they will freak out and they will see me as a weirdo.
You want to know it? Well, I am officially fall in love with my best friend, my fellow 91 liners, Kim Kibum. And that's mean I'm a gay.

Yes, I'm gay for him.

I'm in love with him for almost 4 years up until now. And between those years I never found any flaw on him, he is PERFECT from head to toe. His hair is always in the perfect form, his eyes are bewitching, his nose, his cupid-bow lips that always look so kissable, his body, his marble white skin, his long legs, and his everything look so perfect in my eyes. 

~

It was simple at first, I met him when he was 16 years old and we became best friend since then. 
Kibum was still a SM trainee back then, he still went back and forth from Daegu to Seoul, and I'm just a normal middle-school student who lived in Seoul. Or meeting was a coincidence at first, I still remember it clearly. My first impression to him wasn't good, maybe because of his attitude.

I was on my way home with Jinwoon, we went to the same middle school back then when suddenly he said he wanted to meet his Daegu friend.
"My friend is coming from Daegu today. I want to meet him. Wanna join? He's nice, I'm sure you'll like him" 
That's what he said to me, complete with his hypocritical eye smile. I didn't have anything to do that day so I agreed. We met at the noraebang, Jinwoon said before we entered the room that his name is Kibum, he was with some of his friends too, but Jinwoon forgot to tell me about his blunt personality.

Jinwoon and I entered the room and there were 3 people singing inside, they immediately stopped singing and came to our direction. Jinwoon hugged (it was friendly hug! I said friendly!) one boy that I assumed he was Kibum (I was right though :3). And that time I just knew that Jinwoon had known him for years already. After they broke the hug, that Kibum looked at me and asked to Jinwoon,
"Is this that boy you said?" he pointed his finger at me (it's the first time we met and he pointed his finger at me *_*)
"Ah yeaa.." Jinwoon said as he pushed Kibum's finger back to his side, "His name is Dongwoon"
"Hello, Dongwoon" He smiled and offered his hands to me, I took his hand and I said "Hi, Kibum"
He quickly withdrew his hand after only seconds of hand-shaking, then he turned back to Jinwoon,
"This is my friends, they're trainee too! This is Jinki-hyung" He pointed at a baby-faced guy that I was sure he was younger than this Kibum if he didn't say hyung "And this is Minho" He pointed at the tall guy with a large eyes. Both of the men smiled and waved their hands.

Jinwoon dragged me to sit and three of the remaining followed. There were some foods on the table in front of us, and I was pretty hungry myself, so after I saw Jinwoon shamelessly took two sandwiches in his hand, I took one of the sandwiches and stuffed it to my mouth
"Oh Jinwoon, Dongwoon! Both of you haven't washed your hands yet!" Kibum suddenly screeched,
"Mwaaht?" I asked with a mouthful of sandwich
"I don't even know what did you do before coming here and you touched the sandwiches! It's dirty" He scrunched his nose in disgust
"Relax, Kibum" Jinwoon said after he had a difficulty swallowing the sandwich, "You're such a girl!"
"That's him. He's always like this too when we're practicing" That Jinki guy said, laughing a bit
"Hyuuung~ It's gross you know eating like that.." Kibum made a face and pouted.

Few hours later, I was still inside the karaoke room and I was getting bored, Jinwoon and Jinki were singing a duet song and Minho was playing with his hand phone. I had the habit of biting my nails if I'm bored, so I started biting my nails and crossed my legs.
"God! Dongwoon! Stop biting your nails!" Kibum suddenly said as he hit my hand
Okay, I was getting annoyed, we just met 3 hours ago and he hit me? This guy was really a WOW
"Why?" I asked, pretended to be angry
"There could be a lot of germs on your nails!"
"So what?" I just widen my eyes and pursued my lips, acting innocent and that must be irritated him.
"Auugh. I don't know! Do whatever you like. Just do it, I don't care" Kibum crossed his arms in front of his chest and turned his body so his back was facing me. I smiled in victory.

Kibum stayed in that position until Jinwoon and Jinki finished singing their fourth duet song, and at that time I thought Kibum was really angry at me.
"Hey.." I nudged his back. It's not funny to make someone mad at you in your first meeting, right? But Kibum didn't look back, and I was sure he got mad at me.
"Hey, Kibum" I put my hand on his shoulder and he turned his head, I could see a pout formed on his lips.
"What? Feeling sorry now?" And I just realized that he had a really nice cupid bow lips and looked so tempting. He gazed at me with his cat-like eyes and I couldn't help but locked my gaze on his orbs.

He's... Pretty.

"Okay okay. I'm sorry, enough?" 
Wait. What did I just said? I didn't do anything wrong, why am I apologizing?
He scooted closer to me and smiled like a child, "Apology accepted"
My heart jumped a bit when I saw his smile. 
Heh? Wait! I'm a guy, and I'm not supposed to feel like this to a guy (although he looked so feminine). Why my heart was beating faster?
"I’m just trying to be nice to people around me" He spoke softly as he looked at me delicately
"Umm.. Thanks, I guess?" I said, raising one of my eyebrows
"Yeah.. You should"

After that we chatted together, we talked about everything possible and somehow I found that he wasn't that bad and that annoying. I felt like I talked to different Kibum as before when he was mad and I thought he was really a girl for being mad for something as simple as that. What kind of guy would get mad for someone biting his nails?
He was really friendly and the most caring boy I’ve ever found. I had a lot of same interests with him. He had a cute voice, I must admit that and beautiful face feature to add it. We talked, Jinwoon and Jinki sang and that officially left Minho out. Maybe he felt that he was being left out because some moments after that he asked Jinki to go back home.

"Ah, Dongwoon, what's your number?" Kibum asked me when he finished packing his things to his bag, he took out his hand phone
"0988-xxxx-xxx" 
"Okay, I'll text you" He grinned and I did the same to him.
After that he, Jinki and Minho were waving goodbye to me and Jinwoon.


"Your friend, umm.. Kibum is cool" I said to Jinwoon on my way home
"I know. He's really superb once you get to know his true side. He's amazing"
What Jinwoon said stuck in my mind up until this time. I believed it.
“Jinki hyung has a great voice! I like him. He’s so nice” Jinwoon added.
"Yeah.. I think we should meet them sometimes again. Maybe he can bring more of soon-to-be-celebrity friends" I said jokingly
"Kibum said that he'll be in Seoul more these months. He didn't tell me the reason though.. Maybe we can meet him if he isn't that busy"
"Great!" I laughed stupidly, there’s nothing to be laughed about but I felt like I wanted to.

~

Jinwoon and I had arrived at our own house. I just went out from the bath and I heard my phone beeping, one text message.

Hey Dongwoon :) It's me, Kibum
I just wanna say goodnite. Sweet dream >w<

I smiled upon seeing his text, he sure texted like a girl. I saved his number and hit the reply button,

Nite 2 u 2. Nice sleep :D

I put my phone on the nightstand and I walked to my desk, turning my computer on and playing for hours until I felt sleepy. I slept with a smile on my face remembering my first meeting with Kibum that day.



That's just my first time getting to know him. Days passed and we spent a lot of time together since then.. 
Ummm, I lied, it's just mostly texting or calling each other. We were rarely met face-to-face since he was getting busy and I don't want to disturb him. We often hanging out together when he had a free time, but it happened maybe only once or twice in a month. But what I loved the most was we never spent a day without contacting each other, even it's just a 'What are you doing now? I don't have much time these days, I should go back to my practice' from Kibum or some encouragement from me to him. I'm starting to grow a feeling towards him, he's really caring. He knew every detail that I didn't know about myself.

That's the time when I started to fall in love with him. 


But since the beginning of 2008, Kibum was really busy preparing for his debut, the time we spent together was decreased. We rarely had time to hang out but I understood about that, it was the path he had chosen. I also knew he still studying for his school and I really admire him for his capability on managing his time so well. 

Around that time also, my friend, a hyung, asked me to go for an audition along with him. I didn't think I had something that I could perform that well in front of people unlike that hyung, but he dragged me along so I went with him to the audition. That hyung passed the audition, hence his singing skill was superb! You know him as Yoseob now. But miraculously I also passed the audition and became a trainee. 
I somehow still couldn't believe that I passed that audition, I couldn't sing, I couldn't even read the musical notes that well at that time and I didn't really dance when those people asked me to. I just crazily moving around while doing some dance moves, wait.. It couldn't even count as a move actually. Maybe they were mesmerized by my handsomeness? hahaha :D 
But yeah, I passed that audition and I could become a celebrity too.. 


On May 2008, a group named SHINee debuted, I love their song and their members. They had a fresh feelings coming from them, especially the one named Key. It was Kibum, and he became more attractive than before.

This was something you maybe didn't know about me. I watch every single performance and their ads and the reality show which SHINee should PRETENDED to date a noona (pretended okay, just pretended!). Maybe most of you fangirls did this too like me, screaming and cursing at those noonas when she picked your favorite member of SHINee, in my case Kibum. Fortunately, I lived alone and when that show aired, I would sit in front of the TV and trained my eyes on Kibum. I couldn't look at anywhere else but him. Or when their mv was being played on TV, I would stop and watched it until it finished. 

Even after Kibum had debuted, he sometimes asked me to hang out with some of his fellow members. Sometimes he asked a mushroom-haired boy with a fresh smile and cute face to go along with him if he met me. He introduced himself as Taemin, the maknae of the group. Oh, I was pretending I didn't really know him even though I remembered every single member of SHINee (I have most of their videos on my computer! How could I don't know them?). Or sometimes SHINee’s leader, Onew. Well, he’s Jinki-hyung and when Kibum asked him hanging out with me, I was thankful he still remembered me and acted so nice to me. Also that Minho guy and Kim Jonghyun. Before 2 months of their debut, I already met all of SHINee members courtesy of Kibum, I don't hate it though. I got to know some idols mwhahaha :D

yes, jongkey haven't appeared here. but they will in the next chapter :D

hoped you enjoyed! :)