Tik tok tik tok tik tok.

The sound of my wristwatch abused my eardrums. Of course, it wasn’t really loud, but living alone for such a long time made me quite sensitive to all kinds of noises. I listened to the ticking noise, my eyelids feeling rather heavy. I knew I should sleep, I knew I needed it. I could lay down and close my eyes, pull the covers up under my chin and slow down my breathing. The one thing I could not do, was to clear my mind, my thoughts prevented me from falling into a deep and much needed slumber.

I groaned when a ray of light danced across my face. Glancing at my wristwatch, it was already 6am, meaning Junsu would drop by any minute. Dragging my fatigue body downstairs, I picked up a pocket mirror, staring at my reflection. I was merely the shell of the person I used to be, the person I wanted to be, the person I could never become. I had neglected my body in the most inhumane way. I used to be quite active, feeling that keeping my body in shape was the only thing consoling me. My body was still quite athletic, sometimes my skin tone even appeared darker than it was. It was all an optic illusion, a lie.

When I first moved to this town, I used to jog every morning. I even smiled when the sun greeted me, feeling pleased with escaping from the hell that was my family. My father. My creator. I felt disgusted knowing that his blood floated through my veins. Perhaps that’s why I wanted my blood to be shed, I wanted to erase his touch, his marks, his existence. Unfortunately, everything about him was embedded in my mind. Forgive and forget? What for? I could not forgive nor could I forget. It’s said that time heals all wounds. This, is not true. A mental wound, a tear on your heart, can never heal. Over time, a band aid is placed over it, but all it takes is a single touch, a single thought, to rip the wound wide open again. It will never heal. It can get better, perhaps one day you can think back without crying, but it will never heal. My pain started out as a psychical pain, then a mental pain. And over time, that mental pain had begun to eat its way through my flesh, resulting in a tired looking body. Wounds on your body can heal. It’s the wounds inside you have to worry about. The ones others cannot see. The ones only you can feel, and you alone.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when a soft knock to the door was heard. I turned around and saw Junsu standing outside, waving vigorously. I made my way to the door and opened it, “Junsu,” I greeted politely.

“Yunho. Formal as usu—what happened to your arm?”

I looked down at my bandaged wrist. Damn.

“Oh uh… I broke a glass and cut myself while cleaning it up.”

“Can I take a look at it?” Junsu’s voice changed, it sounded stern, harsh. He sounded like… my father.

“W-Why? There’s nothing to look at.”

“If there’s nothing to look at, why won’t you let me take a quick look then?”

Think fast, Yunho.

Clearing my throat, I laughed, “I’ve cleaned it, so I don’t want to remove the bandages.”

Junsu eyed me suspiciously before sighing, “Fair enough. Be more careful next time.”

“I will, don’t worry.”

He reluctantly let go of the subject and handed me the key to their house. I was a bit taken aback when he leaned in for a hug. Wrapping his arms around my waist, I mimicked his actions, but quickly pulled back when I felt him tracing the bumps on my spine with the tips of his fingers.  I stared into his eyes; his arms still had a firm grip around my waist. His eyes glistened, a crystal like sparkle in the corners of his eyes. Letting go of me, I took a few steps back, kicking the floor nervously while looking down. I slipped my hands into the pockets of my jeans, unsure of what to say or do. Junsu broke the silence, “Yunho? Do you want me to stay here? Because if you do, I’ll stay.”

I looked up, a panic sensation rushing through my body, “No, God no, you should go. Yoochun’s probably waiting for you.”

As if on cue, Yoochun entered the shop, eyeing me before cocking his head to the side, “Nice to see you again, Yunho. You look… different.”

Broken?

“Nice to see you too, Yoochun-sshi.”

“I’ve told you, call me Yoo—”

“There’s no point, Yoochun. Yunho’s always this formal.” Junsu interjected with a faint smile.

After about 10 minutes, they both realized they were running out of time. Before leaving, Junsu asked me one more time, “Do you want me to stay?” My inner said ‘yes’ while my outer answered ‘no’

I opened the shop after they left, expecting a visit from Yoochun’s brother any minute. He was energetic, well-liked and polite. Park Changmin was his name. You could tell he was a success, only from his name. He was younger than Yoochun, but older than me by two years. It had been six months since the last time I saw him, since I last saw anyone who wasn’t from this town. But yet, the only person I wanted to see, I could not find.

My stomach growled with hunger, I decided not to ignore it this time. I realized I had forgotten to go grocery shopping and I wasn’t in the mood to cook anything. I made a bold decision. I decided to visit the bakery across the street. Junsu often brought me lunch from the small shop, and it tasted heavenly. Since he was nowhere around, I had to go myself.

Wrapping a dark jacket around my body, I made sure my shop was locked before I crossed the street. It was still relatively early, too early for people to be roaming the streets with their luxury problems and whatnot.

Once I reached the bakery, I looked through the shop window. Not at the cakes, but at the baker. His lips were puckered, indicating that he was whistling. No customers were there, yet… he was smiling, the morning sun illuminating the small shop. Taking a deep breath, I pressed my palms against door, pushing it open slowly. The young man behind the counter greeted me, “Well hello there. Glad to see someone’s up this early.”

My lips curved into a forced smile, “Good morning. I have to I guess. I own the shop across the street.”

“Urban Fashion?”

“That’s the one.”

He smiled, his brows suddenly furrowing, “I think you have a costumer.”

“What?”

I turned around and even from the great distance; I recognized the being walking nervously in front of my shop. I turned around and excused myself, before dashing outside. By the time I got back, he was already gone. I cursed silently and ran my fingers through my hair, turning in every direction in the hopes of spotting him.  When I pushed down the handle to open the front door, I noticed it was… warm, warmer than usual. Looking down, I spotted a white rose petal. 'He was here'