I closed my eyes as a cold gust of wind blew playfully across my face, ruffling up my neatly styled hair. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t enjoy the cold weather. There was something about the chilling atmosphere that gave me a sense of protection. A sense of reality. I tilted my head up and took a deep breath. The air smelled like rain. Have you ever smelled that? I opened my eyes and directed my gaze to the abandoned looking dock. I cocked my head to the side and crossed my arms. I knew he would come, I knew I would see him. I never questioned why he didn’t appear to notice me though. Why he didn’t acknowledge my presence. Why he never even spared me a single glance. With that thought still embedded in my mind, I turned around and smiled at the sign hanging over the wooden door. “Urban Fashion” the sign read. Urban Fashion was the store I owned. A clothing store to be exact. The money wasn’t pouring in, but I was doing okay. I had always loved the water, so a shop near the sea didn’t seem like a bad idea. The streets surrounding “Urban Fashion” were somewhat old fashioned. Think back to the streets of London during Jack the Ripper’s reign of terror. It was a chilling scene, but I liked the seclusion. I sighed before I went inside, the bell over the door ringing loudly. Seconds later, the bell rang again. I turned around and smiled.

“Junsu-sshi,” I greeted politely.

“Yunho, we’ve known each other for a year. Just call me Junsu.”

Yunho, Jung Yunho. That’s me. 26 years of age,  somewhat athletic body and a killer smile, though I never showed either. 

When I moved to this town about a year ago, I ran into Kim Junsu. A slightly shorter male. Spiky black hair and a unique voice.

“I’m sorry,” I said before I bowed, “I know I speak very formally.”

“You know what your problem is? You need to find yourself a man.”

Did I mention I was gay? Well, now you know.

“I’m fine with this, really.”

“Yunho, you spend all your time cooped up in this godforsaken store. You need to socialize. You need a life.”

“Where are you going with this?”

“Look, socialization is important in the development of the individual, like their personality and their self-image. It’s also important in the development of the society. You will be more aware of the things you do and you will learn to be more careful.”

If you haven’t guessed it already, Kim Junsu, is a psychiatrist.

“I appreciate your advice as always, but you don’t have to worry about me.”

I had already told Junsu about… him. I looked down and bit my lower lip and immediately, Junsu knew what I was thinking about. He sat down on the antique looking chair by the counter. I leaned against the wall and crossed my arms.

“You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?”

I looked away and sighed, the word 'yes' hanging from my lips.

“Yunho, we’ve been over this. It’s just your mind playing tricks on you.”

“You don’t understand.”

“Of course I d—”

“No, you don’t. I know he’s real. I see him every single night.”

“What about the times I’ve watched the store for you? How come I’ve never seen him?”

“I-I don’t know. You have to pay attention. And besides, he doesn’t show up until around midnight.”

“I’ve been here till midnight sometimes. I’ve never seen him, Yunho. You have to let this go.”

“No. Why don’t you stay here tonight? He’ll show up, I promise you.”

Junsu leaned back as far as his chair allowed him, before he ran his fingers through his hair.

“I’m not keen on a ghost hunt, to be perfectly honest.”

“…It’s not a ghost hunt,” I muttered under my breath.

I knew he was real. I knew what he made me feel.

Intrigued.

Curious.

Excited.

Scared.

Lustful…

“Yunho?” Junsu’s voice dragged me away from my thoughts, ”I have to go. Yoochun’s waiting for me.”

Park Yoochun, his husband. They were perfect together and I couldn’t help but to feel jealous when I saw them together. Love. That’s what they had. Something I had never felt. Not even from my own parents. Trust. Not even in my vocabulary.

“Thanks for stopping by. You don’t have to check up on me, you know.”

“It’s what friends do.”

Junsu gave me a pat on the shoulder before he disappeared into the cold fog outside. I glanced at my wristwatch. 21:20 it read. I would usually lock up the store at around 23:00, but I never left until after midnight. Him. He invaded my mind at all times to the point where it felt like my sole purpose in life was to find out who he was. What his secrets were. Where he came from.  I decided, tonight I will learn his secrets. I would wait for him. With or without Junsu by my side, I would find out who he was. When I first came to this town and noticed him, I asked Junsu if they has any urban legends in town. He cringed at my question and refused to answer. I was a curious person, I admit. But I wasn’t a very social one. When I saw how other people interacted with each other, how carefree they seemed… Why couldn’t I have that? When I saw the love people shared… it felt like something inside my heart died. As if it was taunting me… reminding me of what I could never have. What I could never feel. Yes, my heart was tainted. Blood wasn’t pumping through my veins, poison was. There is no muscle stronger than your heart, and the poison in my veins slowly but surely ate away mine. Acid. Burning holes in my heart. I had never felt love nor had anyone ever loved me. That’s what it felt like at least. That’s why I moved to a more secluded area. I spent most of my days alone, occasionally interacting with my costumers. I lived above my store, my so called apartment.  

Old.

Dark.

Tragic.

That’s what it was. Did I even have a life? Would I ever love and be loved back?

After sulking for a good hour and half, I rubbed my tired eyes and yawned. Sleep. Something I was lacking. My vision became blurred as I made my way to the front door. I opened the door and was met by a familiar smell. Rain. The fog was getting thicker by the minute, making it hard for me to see the dock. Most of the street lights were broken and no one ever bothered to fix them. I wrapped my arms around myself, shivering due to the coldness. From the corner of my eye, I spotted a familiar figure.

…Him.