Mistakes

 

 

 

Kyuhyun's POV

 

"Kuī Xián~ let's go on the Ferris Wheel! Please?" A somewhat girl-ish voice spoke to me, saying my Chinese name instead of my Korean name. He gave me those adorable puppy dog eyes that I can't seem to ever win against. There's someone else that was capable to do that as well. I wonder what he's doing right now.

 

 

 

 

~flashback~   "Kyu~ let's go on that~" he gave me his adorable puppy eyes that melted my heart. "Awe baby you're so cute~ let's go wherever you want my aegyo bunny, Minnie" I pecked his pouty lips before I intertwined our hands and started walking towards the huge Ferris Wheel.   ~flashback end~

 

 

 

I tried keeping my mind off of that little aegyo guy and tried focusing on the person in front of me. "Sure, anything for you Mi" I gave him a loving smile. He squealed excitedly and pulled me towards said ride. I just let him drag me as I watch him act cute.

 

As we entered I couldn't help the chuckle, that escaped my lips, at how those eyes seemed to sparkle with happiness. This boy makes me extremely happy. He looked at me and gave me that to-die-for smile that would make anyone who saw it smile back just so it won't disappear. "Kui Xia~ thank you so much for bringing me here" he paused for a moment, "Wǒ ài nǐ." he hugged me and at that instant I knew I had feelings for this guy too. "I love you too Zhoumi" I hugged back and smiled.

 

 

"I'm home!" I shouted once I came inside the house I shared with my small boyfriend "Welcome home Kyu-ah, did you have fun with the guys?" he asked coming from upstairs, he was probably in our bedroom. "uhm...yeah" I replied looking somewhere else instead of his eyes. "That's good..." was all he said before giving me a forced smile and embracing me in a tight hug. "I love you Kyu..." the hurt expression that flashed in his eyes as he said those 3 words out loud, didn't escape my sight. Those foxy-like eyes of his weren't shining to their fullest like they used to, and I'm positive I'm the cause of that.

 

"Min, I'm going to bed alright? I'm really tired" I told him as I headed to our shared bedroom to get ready for bed. "Oh alright, you already ate then?" he asked before I was able to be out of the room. "Yeah...sorry Min...night..." I ran up the stairs hoping he wouldn't ask anything else.

 

I know he always waits till I get home so we could eat together, and so he ends up not eating at all...but I'm always out with Mi and we always eat together. I'm also aware that he tries to stay up just to wait for me to get back home when I stay out late. He's probably crying his beautiful eyes out. How do I know this? Simple, I've come home to find him sleeping on the couch with the tv on and his cheeks stained with tear tracks running down his cute and chubby cheeks.

 

I know it's killing him inside and it breaks my heart seeing him so...broken... especially when I usually always end up carrying him to our room and he always mumbles out an "I love you Kyu"or a "I miss you my Kyu"

 

I hate being this way to him but I don't want to hurt him more by actually ending things with him. I know how much he loves me and even though I'm positive he knows about my unfaithfulness, I'm pretty sure he's trying to reassure himself it's not true. I'm such a bad person. I'm so sorry Sungmin-ah...I'm really sorry.

 

I went straight to the restroom and washed my face and brushed my teeth before I made my way to our bedroom. Once in the room I changed my clothes and got under the covers. I looked at the ceiling trying to think things through. How did this end up happening? How did I end up being unfaithful to him? What happened. I used to love him more than my own life....I can still remember when we were just children. We were best friends. We were always together, we always played with one another, we were so inseparable. I've been in love with him since I first saw him....did I really stop loving him just like that?

 

"Aish this is so frustrating" I mumbled out to myself while ruffling my hair. Why can't I figure things out? Why did I have to hurt him like this?! I turned over to my side, facing the wall, and tried to let sleep take over so I could stop thinking about him.

 

 

SungMin's POV

 

I was waiting for Kyu to get back. He left early this morning saying he was going to hang out with the guys, his best friends, Changmin and Minho. I don't know why but every time he steps out the door I can feel my heart break just a little bit and I feel like my soul dies little by little. I keep telling myself that it's just his friends he's going to go see but my heart tells me otherwise.

 

My heart tells me he's going to go see HIM again, the person that has been making him extremely happy. The person that's able to see him smile and laugh. The person I want to hate but can't seem to. I just don't want to believe it's true. I love him so much but I just don't know.....if he...if he still loves me. I'm pathetic....maybe that's why he chose to do this...

 

Kyu...my Kyu....no...I'm not allowed to claim him as mine anymore....I miss you so much Kyu. You have no idea how much I wish this was just a bad nightmare. I wish that I could just wake up and tell you about that dream and you would tell me it's not true, that I'm just being silly and that it was just a stupid nightmare while embracing me in those protective arms of yours. I wish you could tell me you loved me too, like how you used to...

 

I got up from the couch I was sitting at and went into the kitchen to cook something for him....even though I'm almost positive he's going to come back saying he already ate. At least it's worth a try waiting for him.

 

I opened the fridge's door and looked inside. There's not much food left. I should go shopping. Maybe it'll distract me from these painful thoughts of mine.

 

I headed upstairs towards our room to grab a coat, my wallet, my keys, and my phone. As I was looking around for my wallet in our closet, I noticed a picture.

 

It was a picture of Kyu and me, back when we used to hang out all the time. Back then was such a great time, we used to go out on so many dates, we used to be so happy. We would always try to make each other laugh by doing silly things. We were so close.

 

I remember the first time I met him. It wasn't in high school, or junior high. Now that I'm thinking about it, we didn't exactly meet at school. Our families just kind of knew each other from long ago so whenever they would hang out they would bring us along telling us to play together. So I guess we've known each other since we were toddlers. He's been my best friend since then.

 

A tear slipped its way down my cheek as a remembered our happy times together. I stuffed the picture back in its place, grabbed my things and made my way down the stairs to put on my shoes. On my way out I took my keys out of my pocket and locked the doors.

 

The walk from our house to the bus stop isn't that far but it gave me way too much time to think about things I don't want to think about, so to keep me distracted for a while I started singing a song my eomma used to sing to me when I was feeling down as a kid.

 

I really miss her and my appa...why did you guys have to leave me?

 

 

 

Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea

And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,

Little Jackie paper loved that rascal puff,

And brought him strings and sealing wax and other fancy stuff. oh

 

Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea

And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,

Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea

And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee.

 

Together they would travel on a boat with billowed sail

Jackie kept a lookout perched on puffs gigantic tail,

Noble kings and princes would bow whenever they came,

Pirate ships would lower their flag when puff roared out his name. oh!

 

Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea

And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,

Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea

And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee.

 

A dragon lives forever but not so little boys

Painted wings and giant rings make way for other toys.

One grey night it happened, Jackie paper came no more

And puff that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar.

 

His head was bent in sorrow, green scales fell like rain,

Puff no longer went to play along the cherry lane.

Without his life-long friend, puff could not be brave,

So puff that mighty dragon sadly slipped into his cave. oh!

 

Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea

And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,

Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea

And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee.

 

 

 

I don't know how many times I sang that same song but it was pretty entertaining and it kept me very distracted from my thoughts. I got on the bus and sat at the very back, I don't really feel like being cheerful today, I just want to be alone for a while.

 

As the bus made its way to where it needed to go, I stared out the window, not really sure what I was seeing since I kept getting lost in my own unwanted thoughts.

 

Can it be that I did something wrong? Maybe his love for me died? But I still love him more than anything in the world, more than my own life. Maybe I'm not good enough for him? Maybe he finds me disgusting and maybe he wants someone prettier, better...? I'm pretty useless anyways...I'm...I'm not good at anything. I don't deserve him, he deserves someone better....

 

"Hello? Are you alright?" a hand on my shoulder startled me and brought me back from my self pity. I looked at whoever touched me and gave him a confused look. How did...."You're crying" he pointed out as if he was able to read my mind. I brought my hands up to my face to check and felt my cheeks damp. He wasn't lying when he said I was crying. I turned back to him and gave out a weak smile saying, "I'm fine. It's nothing" before I turned back to look out the window.

 

I felt someone staring at me still and I'm guessing it's the same guy who asked if I was alright. I was feeling a bit uncomfortable so I turned towards him to ask why he kept staring but before I could say anything he spoke up. "Hi, my name's Henry, I know this probably isn't the best situation but hi" he smiled and extended his hand. I just blinked a few seconds before I took his hand and shook it. "Uhm...hi, nice to meet you Henry..." I retreated my hand and was going to turn my head back but again he spoke before I could do so. "What's you're name? Surely someone cute like you should have a pretty name."

 

Why is this stranger talking to me? I couldn't help but blush at his comment. "Sun...Sungmin. My name is Sungmin" I mumbled out. "See! You do have a pretty name, just like its owner" he gave me a gentle smile. I just blushed and looked down. "Now why was this beauty crying? Such a beautiful person shouldn't be crying you know?" he gave me such a heart warming smile that actually made me want to trust this complete stranger.

 

I hesitated for a while, should I trust him? "It's alright if you don't want to tell me but you can trust me. Maybe I could dry those tears and turn that pout into a laughter and a smile, eh? He puffed his cheeks and then poked them making them deflate and smiled as he spoke. I giggled at his childish act.

 

"See! Your laugh is much better than that sad pout! You're so cute! You shouldn't be crying~" he pinched my cheeks as he spoke, making me blush at both his words and actions. He just chuckled at my blush which made me pout and lower my head. "Awe don't be shy cutie. Let's talk about something else ok? Maybe that will take your mind off of whatever was making you sad?" he suggested. I just nodded and gave him a small smile.

 

"Why don't you tell me where you're heading to? I can be such great company to such a beauty like you" he held my hand in between both of his. I blushed at his words once again but still told him, "Uhm, I was on my way to the sto