All day, the dorm had been flooded with well-wishers crowding around Onew. The Super Junior sunbaes arrived in little groups, one by one, with bouquets and gifts of every size. A small Dong Bang Shin Ki reunion occurred when all five members congregated in a small half circle in their living room, all smiling brightly. Dojoon and another BEAST member Key didn’t remember the name of showed up with a giant stuffed teddy, jokingly shouting “It’s a boy!! It’s a boy!!” Changsun made a brief appearance, hugging Onew tightly for a long time, and then wiping his face on the corner of his sleeve. The man's parents also dropped in for a while with a large side of beef, something that the band was sure to pounce on whenever home food was in demand. Everyone was beaming their brightest smiles. People had missed the man and the sentiment flooded the room.

So much, that it suffocated Key and he excused himself to the balcony, cigarettes on the ready.

Outside, there was good space to think. The air was clearer, like smoke dissipating. Onew was in a wheelchair, looking up at everyone and flashing a tentative, slightly overwhelmed smile. But his presence seemed to radiate so powerfully in all directions. From the little snatches he had heard, Key noticed that speech was being a bit of a problem for the leader, besides his usual motor skills. In the few hours he'd been back at the dorm, the after-effects of the coma had gradually started unraveling themselves. They’d said two months of inactivity would take time to wear off, and that patience was necessary.

But Key had no patience. Puffing into the air, he tapped his foot edgily, waiting for everyone to clear out while his cigarette slowly turned to ash.

And when they did clear out, the churning in his stomach wished they’d come back again.

He walked back into the house, consciously brushing the front of his shirt. Ever since the elder's arrival, Key hadn't shared a single word with him, hiding behind furniture and quietly looking at the activity surrounding the other. Judging his reactions, noting his expressions, studying him through and through. If a confrontation were to happen, it would probably happen now.

None of the other members were around, and Key wondered why.

When they'd heard of the surgery being a success, it was like a high-pressure box had burst open, and the whole world had gone mad with joy. Obviously, Onew wouldn't return for another two weeks, but just the fact that he'd survived, that there had been a response from him, and he'd started moving was like a big victory. Today morning, Jonghyun had been beyond ecstatic, wheeling the eldest in the front door. Taemin had brought out a big pineapple cream cake with the words “Welcome Bach” spelt in chocolate, an old private joke between the two, Key guessed. Minho hadn’t said much, but Key noticed how he managed to maintain contact with Onew in any way possible. A touch of the arm, a brushing back of errant fringes, a momentary linking of fingers… like he was constantly assuring himself this was real, that his sun was really back in the sky.

Key himself had kept his distance, afraid of what would happen otherwise.

Now with dusk outside the window, in the room empty of everyone except him and the eldest, the diva wished he were one of a crowd, unnoticeable and hidden. A buckle on his shirt clicked and Onew looked at him with a stoic face.

“I love you,” were the first words out of Key’s mouth, no beating around the bush required. He surprised himself with the sudden declaration, besides the marked absence of tears, or nervous tremors in his body.  Walking closer to the man, he stopped a few steps away, folding his hands behind his back like a school boy about to be punished. “You never noticed, but I love you,” he went on, hiding his gaze away. There was no pre-written speech this time. No special knowledge treat that Key had to share. Just a simple fact that he'd had to face in the two weeks of waiting, a fact he'd finally accepted after grueling fights with himself.

Here a man, weak pale and beaten, sat in front of him and evoked the strongest heartbeats Key had ever felt in his little chest. He almost clutched at it, feeling like he was about to turn inside-out and expose its every flaw, its every cracked logic. Strings were plucked somewhere inside him, over and over… faster, suddenly slow, then changing the note to slightly happy but turning again towards something morose. His feet breached some more distance before he commanded them, and it made sense in his head, because there was an attractive pull between their bodies— like they belonged together. The thought was bold, but it came nonetheless, and an unabashed Key readily welcomed it. for him, they would belong together, always. Feeling himself blush, he shyly lifted his head and a pair of suns blazed back at him. The boy was blinded by the intensity of those usually calm eyes, shaken by how serious Onew suddenly looked.

“Come sit next to me a while,” the elder said. It sounded like an order. And maybe it was. The strings in Key stretched and strained against his ribcage as his slippers flapped again and again when he unhurriedly moved to the couch. There were no goose pimples, no chills running up his spine, but the air had a threatening spark in it. A definite tautness hung over the boy where he sat and he almost tilted his head to check for suspended knives. Instead, he smiled; Onew had been the one to tell him the story of Damocles.

“I’ve missed your blather,” he said at the thought. It was an affectionate enough thing to say, being the first few words exchanged between them after the leader had regained consciousness. Suddenly, snippets of their past conversations were coming back to the younger: a precise explanation of how oil rigs functioned, a small comment on the polyurethane wheels of a skateboard, the full story of the political unrest in Mongolia... all things that would only ever help if one were to participate in a quiz competition. Key found himself cherishing these bits of information, these useless facts that ensured every mention of them to be a reminder of Onew. For a moment he wondered if everything in the world would remind him of Onew, in that case.

“No, that’s not what I want to hear,” the said man rumbled, calling attention back to the present. “Say what you said before that.”

A long pause before Key gulped. “Is it necessary? Can we not treat it like a… joke?”

“You didn’t look like you were joking.” Why did the man sound annoyed? Key couldn't see what he was being reprimanded for. He'd only been speaking his mind. It wasn't as if he'd asked for his feelings to be returned. He wasn't that stupid.

The younger dropped his head. “I wasn’t. You know that well.”

“I’m not questioning it. But I want to hear it again.”

Key sighed. “To what end?” he rolled his eyes upward in sudden exhaustion. This wasn't going according to plan. True, he hadn't set out with a plan. But just the same, the direction of their talk was unfavorable in his opinion. He tried to claw his way out of the deepening pit. “It’s not like you—”

“You don’t know that,” Onew cut him off, understanding Key before he completed his sentence. Thinking back even in that moment, the younger realized how often the other had been capable of completing his unfinished sentences... too often to not consider peculiar; deliberate. “You don’t know anything from the sound of it, Kibum ah," the leader added.

“… Did you… did you hear everything I said?” the boy ventured, losing his control over the conversation. “Back when you were… Did you hear everything?”

“I did,” the leader affirmed. “But I'm starting to think it was all a lie. You haven’t smiled even once since I got back.”

“Because I…!!” Key began loudly in a show of agitation, and then lowered his voice. “Because you’re not here for me. You’re here because the doctor—”

“I was right, wasn't I?" Onew cut him short again. He tapped his fingers on the plastic handle of the wheelchair, a hint of intolerance in his voice. "You really don’t know anything, Kibum.”

Key turned his head to glare at the elder. “Why do you keep saying that?!”

“Because you haven’t been listening!” Onew emphasized. "‘I’m only Kibum’?! When have I called you anything else?!”

Key’s thoughts stuttered, tripping over themselves in confusion. "W— what...?" That day, seeming so distant in the past now, came back to him and he felt himself turn red at the memory of his own selfish words. He'd made a fool of himself, speaking so freely. And he hadn't once thought of the consequences. Even so, some odd kind of hope was shaking inside him, some thought he couldn’t really label or confirm for himself. Perhaps his heart was working faster than his brain at this, since it maintained its strong beat while his apprehension grew stronger, bit by bit. “Wh— what do you mean?”

“I mean this,” was all the explanation offered before Onew slipped his mouth over Key’s, sealing the exchange closed.

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Done and done!!

Thank you all for reading thusfar. I really enjoyed this competition. Thanks for all the love and comments.

~IQ