You are four years old, and Chanyeol is five. The two of you live in the same drab neighborhood in the heart of Seoul, and your mothers were childhood friends and BFF’s throughout their entire education. Even in their late twenties, they are inseparable. Their hobbies include frequent family vacations and organizing play dates for you and Chanyeol. You don’t mind that much; you love Chanyeol, as much and in any way that a four-year-old little girl can love a five-year-old little boy. You see him nearly everyday and spend almost every waking moment playing with him, or trying to. Sometimes, or all the time, he doesn’t want to play with you. You think he is just shy, and if you keep being nice to him, eventually he won’t be shy anymore.

Today is the first day of summer, and your parents have organized a camping trip for you and your older brother. You have never been camping before, and excitement is rushing all over your little body. But at the same time you are sad because Chanyeol can’t come with you. Chanyeol and his parents are over at your house, talking and socializing and taking a few pictures before you and your family head off to the camp grounds. Chanyeol wanders your house by himself and you smile. Perhaps he might want some company. He goes into the kitchen and you follow him. He goes outside and you follow him, not wanting him to be alone. He gives you a few glowers and repeatedly tells you to stop following him.

But his mother comes outside with the two of you with a camera and asks the two of you to pose for a picture. Obediently, he stands still, fidgeting with his fingers in front of him and looking slightly angry and slightly sad, almost as though he wants to cry. You follow his mother’s instructions. You move closer to him; he scoots away, so you scoot even closer and smile with all your toddler teeth when his mother says “cheese”. She snaps a photo, and Chanyeol shoves you away.

“Stop it!” he yells. “Stop doing that!” You take a little step back, feeling scared because Chanyeol yelled at you. But his mother is squealing over how adorable the two of you are, and she asks the two of you to pose for another picture. This time, you throw both your arms around him and hug him to you. You smiled widely again, but Chanyeol is wriggling and trying to get out of your hug. His mother snaps another picture.

“Let go!” he yells into your ear.

“Smile, Chanyeol!” you say happily. His mother readies her camera as he desperately tries to gets your arms off of him. 

“Say ‘cheese’!” his umma says, and you lean over and plant a big kiss on Chanyeol’s cheek, and his mother snaps another picture. Chanyeol breaks free from your hug and violently shoves you away from him.

“I said stop it!” he said. He shoves you so hard that you lose your balance, you trip over your own little feet and land your little bottom right on the rock solid concrete floor. And it hurts. “I don’t like you!” Chanyeol yells at the top of his lungs right into your face. Chanyeol doesn’t like you, he said, and this hurts your little four-year-old heart.

You feel sick all of a sudden, and your poor heart is racing away. When you are too full of these bad feelings, you suddenly burst into tears. You sob and cry so loudly, that your umma from inside rushes out to you and Chanyeol’s mom pulls him away. She slaps his hands and tells him he is a bad boy for making you cry, and tells him that he has to be punished later for pushing you because pushing is a bad thing that hurts other people’s feelings. The scolding is too much for his little five-year-old heart as well. Perhaps it is because now he feels guilty, or maybe he is sorry he got himself into trouble. And in another moment, he, too, is crying. And even though he pushed you, all you want to do is give him another hug.