I have to leave this room, he's all around me here. I think I'm going slowly insane. Everywhere I turn, I see his beautiful face. Every time I close my eyes, he's there whispering sweet things to me. The edges of my vision are blurred, a softness I can only assume his angel wings have left for me.

"Jungsu!" Heechul gasped and caught his love before he could fall. "Be more careful."

Jungsu smiled and shook his head, a faraway look in his eyes.

"I'm just dizzy today."

"Then we'll go home," Heechul said, keeping his arm firmly around Jungsu's waist.

"We don't have to. It's just a cold or something." Jungsu smiled and righted himself, pushing Heechul off gently. "Let's keep going."

I can't cry anymore, nothing will come and my stomach threatens to retch. I can't remember the last time I ate, the last time my lips touched a full glass. My already thin body is continuing to shrink in toward my bones. But I can't leave yet. I have to stay here with him. I have to let him do his worst to me. Like an addict coming down off the last high of his life, I have to let his memories go.

"It's routine, Heechul. Stop worrying. It's making me nervous."

Heechul sighed and stopped pacing to sit in the chair by the hospital examination table that Jungsu sat on.

"I'm sorry. It's just, you were dizzy before and you've been hiding your coughing.. You're thinner."

Jungsu laughed.

"Stop it. Really Heechul, it's too much now. You're acting like I have cancer."

Heechul bit his lower lip and stared at him.

Jungsu's face fell and he went paler.

"You're supposed to be keeping me happy," Jungsu whispered.

Heechul stood up and wrapped his arms around him.

"I'm sorry. I'll do better."

Jungsu nodded and hugged him tightly.

Heechul pet through his hair and didn't move when the doctor came in.

His fingers caress my cheeks, his thumbs brushing the last of my tears from my eyelashes. His face is so close and he brushes his lips on mine.

I whispered his name as a buzzing noise pulled me from my dream state. A familiar sound, from something I haven't thought about since I got here. My phone is ringing.