When I see my phone light up,

my excitement grows for the slight chance it might be you.

When you laugh,

I melt inside because I never want to see you sad.

When I took pictures with you at prom,

I never wanted your arm to leave my side because your touch is everything I ever wanted.

When I tried to ask you out months before,

my heart dropped because you were dating someone else.

When I met her for the first time,

I honestly tried my best to like her as much as you do ... because I want you to be happy. 

When we stopped hanging out,

my smile slowly disappeared from your view because I miss you terribly.

When you kissed her,

I pretended not to see and walked away... because I love you.

But I didn't want to tell you.

...I didn't want you to know.

I purposely shied away from you because I didn't want to lose you.

I didn't want to sacrifice everything we have as friends for a slight chance you feel the same. And over the years, I've gotten to know you more than I should. 

So I've been trying ... trying to tear that connection. But no matter what I do, I fail miserablely.

It's the plain and honest truth:

I can't unlove you.

But... I can't stand the loneliness anymore.

I can't stop my selfishness from showing. It's eating away at my entire being. Every touch, every word; it feeds the emptiness in my soul and I feel every tear.

I want to be able to say that a part of me will always be waiting for you- that I will always be there for you when things get tough.

But honestly, no matter how much I want to say such loving, trusting words... I can't.

This love. This one sided love.. is like a serious illness, an illness from which I will never fully recover. It's tearing at me, eating away at my mind... my heart.. my life.

So no matter how much it kills me, I have to leave you.

I must leave you behind or I will never move forward in my life.

I will die here waiting for your love to be returned to me.

The wait would kill me. Every moment near you takes life away from my aching heart.

Leaving this place... leaving you. It hurts more than you will ever know.

I feel a strain on my heart as I pull at the strings...  as I tear away the connection that has kept me bound to you.. I can feel it unwind and fray apart with every step I take.

It hurts but... I know it's for the best.

I will become healthy again.

My happiness will grow and I just might live life again.

... I just might.

And if I succeed... if I can finally stand on my own, I'll come back.

Not to follow you yearning with love, but to walk in front of you.

Living life fully.

And if you need a hand, I'll walk by your side and I'll try to help you find your way again.

...because I know you would do the same for me.

I may suffer now, but I will heal with time. 

My heart will finally be at peace.

I may never fully recover from this love

but I can live with this defect-

this scar on my heart.

I can't unlove you.

but I live a life of love

and this love... will always belong to you.

Goodbye.

I'm letting you go.