elloericaa.tumblr.com

follow me, know what's up, that's what's up.

“Last day,” Woohyun told himself as he woke up.

It was 6am, and Woohyun was awaken by Julia’s crying. The sun was peaking through the blinds of his apartment window. The sun’s warm rays danced on Julia’s face as Woohyun picked her up from her crib.

She was a beautiful baby. There was no way that Woohyun could lie about it. She was modeled after her mother, so of course she was gorgeous. Julia was really Woohyun’s last connection to Ara, but even if she was, Woohyun was still letting her go.

The cries, the 3am wake up calls, the never-ending bottles of milk were finally getting to his head. And what’s worse was that every time he closed his eyes, Woohyun began to picture the pain Ara went through during her delivery. Woohyun needed to let Julia go and quick. Woohyun couldn’t handle the heartbreaking hallucinations of his late wife. Everything was tearing him apart; Day and night were living hell for Woohyun. He needed himself. He needed Ara. He needed Julia to shut the up.

Woohyun’s last day went as normal. He searched the newspapers for a new job in the morning while feeding Julia. Then, he bathed her and dressed her up. She took a nap, and at that moment, Woohyun could finally fall asleep.

Until the dreams of Ara appeared. Woohyun was forced awake. The screams of Ara, holding his hand while yelling, “Don’t let go!” was enough for Woohyun to be shocked awake. The eye bags under his eyes screamed at Woohyun to close his eyes, but his brain wouldn’t let him. The mental images were horrifying.

Woohyun was dying slowly. His world had already fallen apart; it was about time for him to die. But what was Ara saying? What was she saying to him? “Don’t let go?” Of what?  Woohyun remembered his dream. Don’t let go, she cried. Was this some sort of test? Was Ara testing his strength? If she was, Woohyun failed because his strength was completely gone. Woohyun was tired. He was tired physically and emotionally. He didn’t know if he could handle it.

As if on cue, Julia began to cry. Woohyun forced himself out of bed and walked to the crib in the living room. As Woohyun peered into the crib, Julia’s tears stopped. Julia stared at her father with dry, wondering eyes. The two just started intently at each other, neither blinked.

“Aish, what do you want?” asked Woohyun as he picked her up and peered into her diaper. It was time to be changed.

Woohyun’s strong arms softly put Julia back into the crib. After, he laid a blanket on the floor to change his daughter. As he placed Julia onto the floor, his phone dropped out of his sweater pocket.

The screen flicked on, revealing the image of Ara. Ara was seated in her favorite rocking chair, next to the window. Her hair was tied back. The sun shined its rays beautifully across her uncovered face. She smiled at him, holding her baby bump with the greatest satisfaction. It was just the other day that he had taken this photo…

Julia eye’s flickered at the sight of the glowing object. Woohyun noticed this and he showed her the picture. “This was your mom,” Woohyun said proudly, “She’s beautiful, just like you.”

Julia smiled. Her eyes shimmered with delight as Woohyun continued to show her picture after picture of her mother. Dinner dates, movie dates, and even dates at home were all captured on Woohyun’s phone. While taking a break to change Julia’s diaper, Woohyun wondered why he was showing her those pictures. Julia would never see that face in person, so why bother?

“Don’t let go,” cried Ara.

Woohyun picked up Julia in his arms. Julia was happy to be in her father's strong arms. The way Julia looked at Woohyun was different. It was happier. It was an understanding look. Was it the pictures and videos that changed things? Woohyun pulled out his phone with his free arm and opened it to look at the pictures. At the very end of the album, he found a video. He hadn't taken this video, but he recognized who did. It was Ara. Woohyun took a seat at the couch with Julia still in his arms. 

Woohyun pressed play and watched Ara's face come to life.

"Woohyun," laughed Ara, "How are you doing my love? I took your phone while you were in the shower! Now, I wanted to make a short video." Ara smiled at the phone's camera while rubbing her baby bump. "Remember, when you told me that you wanted out first born to be a girl? I went to the doctor and he said we were having a baby girl! Woohyun, I am so excited. I can't wait to start our family together. I know nothing will tear our family apart."

Ara sighed, "But if things get hard, don't let go Woohyun. Don't ever give up on our baby or me. Even if, God forbid, I die you must not give up on our baby. She's ours." 

Ara's eyes widened. "You're coming out of the shower. Got to go! I love you baby! Mwah!" Ara kissed the phone and turned it off. 

Woohyun couldn't believe he hadn't seen this. He threw his phone to the side and pulled his baby girl closer to him. He held Julia safely in his arms. It was a sign. Woohyun couldn't leave Julia. She was his family. She was a part of him now. He should have realized this; Julia can't leave him. Woohyun kissed his baby's forehead and whispered apologizes. He realized now that he had to be strong, for himself, Julia, and Ara. 

Woohyun's empty hand drifted into his pants pocket. He pulled out what he was looking for and stared at it. The pamphlet that started all these ideas of adoption stared at him. With easy eyes, Woohyun crumbled the pamphlet in his hands. Once it was a ball, he threw it across the room. 

"Julia, I'm the worst father ever. I can't believe that I would ever let myself think of even letting you go," Woohyun whispered. Julia just smiled and blinked at him, not knowing what was going on. 

"Baby, I'm sorry," Woohyun said to Julia, "Your mother was right. I shouldn't give up. Your mother is resting in paradise now, and I know we wish the she could return, but we're going to have to be strong. And we will be. Together."

Woohyun began to sing his daughter a lullaby. His soft voice fluttered through the room, hoping that his daughter would shut her eyes closed. This was the beginning of Woohyun's track as a father. This lullaby was his apology and hopefully his eraser for starting anew again. 

"Baby, I'm sorry."

The birth of his child.

The creation her new life.

The beginning of their new chapter.      

well, that is all. 

I hope this was good enough for the contest?

tell me what you think?

comment, subscribe, enjoy. (:

it's still up in the air if I want to write another chapter. but for now, it's complete. :D

I MAY WRITE ANOTHER ONE. if I do, it'll be up by the end of the week.