Is it possible to stop loving someone? It was a question Choi Minho never thought about until he bumped into Kim Kibum at the train station. He had been minding his own business, waiting for the train to arrive, when he had a feeling that someone was looking at him, not just looking but staring because Minho could feel the difference from the intensity of the gaze. True enough, when he looked towards the direction of the stare, Kibum was there, a couple of feet away from him with a number of people standing between them but looking right back at him, straight into his eyes, with an unreadable expression on his face. This was the Kim Kibum, the exact same Kim Kibum who had been Minho’s boyfriend for almost two years before they ended things on a bad note and never saw each other again for a period long enough for both of them to forget about the other’s existence.

Their story was simple. They met in college, flirted with each other when they were just friends, began dating soon after, stayed together for almost two years before Kibum’s dream of studying overseas in the United Kingdom got in the way. He was supposed to only be on an exchange programme for 6 months but barely a month into the programme, Kibum was certain he wanted to complete his studies there. They tried handling a long distance relationship but it was obviously failing when all they did on the rare times they managed to catch each other on Skype was argue. And so, on their fourth Skype conversation, Minho lost it and shouted, “Since you love UK so much, forget about me and go find yourself a UK boyfriend.” Their Skype conversation had ended, and so did their relationship. They never did officially break up, if there was even such a thing, but Minho’s pride got in his way as he refused to contact Kibum and when Kibum didn’t contact him as well, it was obvious they weren’t on speaking terms anymore, let alone together as a happy couple. Things were rough for Minho. Yet, his anger got the better of him. Besides, what could he do when the circumstances were against him? Circumstances where they were more than 5500 miles apart, separated by an 11 hours flight and an 8 hour time difference, all of which were of no use in helping Minho overcome this battle. What’s more, he knew right from the start that he was fighting a losing battle since Kibum’s heart was set on studying overseas. So from there, Minho made a painful decision to move on and life as we know it goes on…

And then life happened. Here they were now, almost three years later at a train station, completely ignoring the arrival of the train that they both needed to get on and just looking at each other as the crowd emptied out into the now departing train. The station was left rather empty, save for a few others who had just missed the train, and both Minho and Kibum had no obstructions between them anymore. They could clearly see the way the other’s body moved with each breath they took and could even almost hear the other’s heartbeat. Deciding to be a man about it, Minho took the initiative to walk towards Kibum as confidently and casually as he could but god only knows how he felt like he was walking towards a witness stand of a courtroom, ready to be judged. When he finally reached within an arm’s length away from Kibum, Minho stopped, stuffing his hands into his pockets and put on a smile, one that was more out of courtesy than genuine happiness.

“Hey…” Minho paused, taking in Kibum’s reaction which had to be somewhat positive since the other had a slight smile on his face. “When did you get back?”

“A few months ago.” Kibum answered, leaving it to Minho to get the conversation going.

“Oh.” Minho replied and then added, almost politely but actually speaking from his heart. “You look good.”

Kibum’s smile had a tinge of amusement to it now. “That’s all you have to say to me?”

Minho shrugged. “Actually, I don’t really know what to say to you.”

“Then why did you come over?” Kibum raised his eyebrows.

“You were staring at me.” Minho answered honestly. “It wouldn’t be polite if I didn’t come over and say hi.”

“Alright, if that’s the case, you can leave now since you’ve said hi.”

“Maybe I should.”

“Please, by all means, go ahead.” Kibum gestured to the approaching train with a smile.

And Minho did. Not only because Kibum had asked him too, but because if he didn’t catch the train that had so appropriately arrived, he would be late for work. Besides, he had a feeling this wasn’t the last he would see of Kibum anyway.

*

Minho’s intuition was spot on, though it came rather late, around two weeks later to be exact. Within the two weeks, he couldn’t stop thinking about Kibum, about how he felt towards the other, about whether he ever did stop loving him. Yet, thinking about it so much proved to be useless to Minho since he couldn’t come to any conclusions at all. He didn’t know how he felt for Kibum anymore. He used to have such strong feelings towards him but over the years, Minho had moved on, he had learnt to let go, his feelings slowly fading away. Nevertheless, to say that he had no feelings left for Kibum was a lie.

Minho still cared about him and this was exactly what was confusing him. He wanted to know how Kibum was during their three years apart, if Kibum was back in Korea for good and what was going on in his life now like if he had found someone else or remained single. It wasn’t that Minho wanted to pick up from where they left off; he just wanted to know where they currently stood with each other. And that was the other thing that was bugging Minho – did they even break up? After all, they didn’t exactly end things properly with each other. Things were just too ambiguous between them that Minho wished he and Kibum could settle things once and for all. And so, when he met Kibum at a birthday party that a common friend had organised, Minho wasted no time in pulling Kibum aside and into a room where they could be by themselves.

“Wow, I didn’t expect you to be so excited to see me.” With a straight face, Kibum snatched Minho’s opening line with his comment as he glanced at the hand that was holding his arm before looking at the owner of said hand.

Minho immediately released his grip on Kibum’s arm and closed the door behind him, shutting off all noise that came from the party in living room so he and Kibum could have the silence they needed.   

“We should talk.” Minho went straight to the point.

“You’re three years late.” Kibum retorted coldly.

“Kibum, I’m not the only one in this relationship...”

“Relationship?” Kibum scoffed. “What relationship? Because from my understanding, you clearly didn’t want anything to do with me after you told me to find someone else in UK.”

Minho sighed. “Look Kibum, I just want to settle things between us that we should have settled years ago but if you don’t want to be talking to me right now, just tell me, and I’ll go.”

“Alright. Fine.” Kibum breathed out, throwing his hands up in defeat. “Tell me, what exactly do you want to talk about? What exactly do we need to settle?”  

“I… don’t know. I just-“

“You want us to talk but you don’t even know what to say right now. That’s really smart of you, Minho.” Kibum rolled his eyes, voice filled with sarcasm that it made Minho’s blood boil.

“Why are you making things so difficult for me?!” At Kibum’s attitude, Minho couldn’t keep calm anymore as he raised his voice, staring straight into Kibum’s eyes intimidatingly.

But of course, Minho knew Kibum wasn’t one to be intimidated. And even if he was, he would never go down without a fight… particularly now, since he had a case to fight.

Kibum closed the distance between them and pushed Minho hard on his chest, the strength that he used was enough to make Minho stumble a few steps back.

“This is nothing compared to how you made my life a living hell when I was in UK… when I was supposed to be fully enjoying the fact that I was fulfilling my dream of studying overseas. And the funniest thing is that you didn’t even have to be physically there to make the first few months of my life in UK miserable!”

It was Kibum’s turn to raise his voice and he went on to push Minho on his chest again.

“Do you know how guilty I felt that my dream was what exactly caused us to lose the relationship we had? Every time, every single ing time I felt happy, I had to be reminded that the happiness I felt was at the cost of our relationship, at the expense of losing you. And obviously, you did nothing to make me feel better since I was the selfish one who left you for my dream. Don’t get me wrong though, I don’t regret staying in UK to complete my studies because eventually, I had a ing good time staying there and living my dream. What I regret is that I let you affect my mood at the beginning, that it took me too long to get over you and move on with my life. So forgive me Minho, if I’m making things difficult for you now, but don’t expect me to be friendly with you anytime soon.”

With that, Kibum shoved Minho aside and stormed right out of the room, leaving Minho with words that not only made him speechless but also caused his heart to ache. And at that moment, Minho knew. He knew the answers to the questions that had been bothering him. Was it possible to stop loving someone? Yes, but for Minho, it wasn’t possible if the person was Kibum. Did he, then, ever stop loving Kibum? No. Because if he ever did, Kibum certainly wouldn’t have the ability to hurt him as much as he did now.

Author's Note: to be continued (well, duh). the next part is in the works! comments are definitely welcomed... let me know what you think because i actually am easily swayed by comments and they do affect the way my stories turn out in the end. hate it, love it, just say whatever you want. and even if you don't really know what to say, you can just talk to meeeee~ i would love that. :)