Yu Jin’s Point of View

I knew what I was doing.

I knew the chances were slim, but that didn’t stop me from trying.

I was borderline desperate.

I just had to see him.

So that’s exactly what I planned on doing.

I stood in line with the rest of the fans anxiously waiting for EXO to arrive. I didn’t have a camera or a sign like the rest of them. I had nothing. I wasn’t the typical fan. I just needed a small bite.  A small taste of his presence to keep me going was all I asked for. The feeling of being so close yet so far would apply to this situation as a black van pulled up and the screams erupted to an ear numbing volume as the door opened.

Girls swarmed to the van while I stayed put in my spot. I planned on seeing him, but had no intentions of him seeing me. My heart was beating at an uncontrollably fast pace as its rhythm played out in my ear.

Ba bump. Ba bump. Ba bump.

One by one the members emerged from the van with tired smiles and bare faces. Not one wavered to say hello as they waved wholeheartedly to the fans. I smiled at that when the last member, the one I anticipated the most, stepped out of the van and came to view.

His face was still as perfect as I could remember with the same cute nose and small crescent eyes. The smile on his face interrupted the rhythm in my chest bringing it to a slight pause before starting off again. My feet compelled me closer as it took its mindless steps towards them when I suddenly found myself in the mess of the crowd as it carried my forward to the group.

I was near the front now dangerous of sighting when they headed up the steps to the building just as a fan beside me screamed out my death, “Baekhyun! I love you!”

I stared wide eyed as he stopped at the door and turned around to look for the caller. He scanned the crowd and I cowered into the side of the woman beside me when his eyes stopped.

They were staring beyond my spot as he waved again and entered into the building. His face showed no recognition of my presence and for that I was grateful to whoever did catch his attention.

It wasn’t hard to blend in, but it also felt like I was sore thumb. I breathed out a mix of relief and disappointment when they coast was clear. Part of me was glad he didn’t see me while a bigger part of me wanted to scream out and get noticed.

What if…

I lived with that question since the moment I left and I never got my answers.

I took my seat in the audience with the rest of the girls as we waited for the interview to start. I was anticipating this moment more than anything. I could finally hear him speak and really look at him. I’d take it all in and get my fill like the rest of them.

Right now, confronting him would be the last thing I wanted to do. I was neither physically or emotionally ready for it.

“Okay, everyone we will be starting in a few moments, but let’s introduce our guest shall we?” The host motioned to his right as they entered onto stage and the crowd was all cheers.

I clapped and screamed along with them hiding behind a sign a fan was so nice to give to me seeing that I had nothing. My eyes were firmly planted on him as he stood a head shorter than Chanyeol. I was surprised he couldn’t feel it.

They took their places and the lights dimmed in the audience as the lights on stage grew stronger and the interview began.

It went accordingly with the same questions.

‘What’s the concept of your comeback album?’

‘Describe the song?’

And so on.

But it wasn’t till the middle of the interview did the questions start to get interesting.

“How would each of describe your ideal type?”

I sat up in my seat as Baekhyun was the first to answer. The edge of my seat couldn’t hold me as I inched closer and closer to hear his answer, “I like girls that are cute yet have a strong side to them. I admire girls that take on their challenges head on and don’t run away from the problem.”

His words hit me like a hard blow to the stomach and I sunk back down lower into my seat and covered my face. It’s like he knew I was watching and wanted me to know that I wasn’t his type. Well, I got the hint and it hit home.

“Have any of you had a girlfriend?”

If it didn’t hurt already…

They only laughed and playfully denied it the best they could when I could see the confliction on Baekyun’s face as he too joined in on the laughter, “Well, there is one of us…” Chanyeol revealed and the crowd gasped and leaned forward in their seats as the interview continued to push the subject, “I won’t ask, but is it a current girlfriend or a past one that we’re talking about here?”

They looked at each other when it was Suho who had a cheeky smile and confessed, “Current girlfriend for one of the members.”

The audience let out sighs and groans as the news that one of their beloved members was taken.

Wishful thinking took over again and it started to play with me like it always has.

‘It’s you.’

‘You know they’re talking about Baekhyun and you.’

But then came the realistic side ready to burst my bubble.

‘It’s not you.’

‘Who are you kidding? It’s been two years.’

…Yes, it has been two years.

I sat mindlessly at my computer scrolling through my Tumblr page like nobody’s business as countless pictures, videos, and translations continued to feed onto my dashboard. What was the point to this? I was no closer to them just by looking at these…But sometimes they sure as hell made it feel like it.

And that’s what fueled the imagination.

The task became boring after awhile as the same things started to appear and my mouse moved to exit the browser as a new story popped up with a blurry picture of a couple out on the streets walking with their arms across each other. I scrolled down the picture to read the headline of article. As soon as I read it, I wished I had just closed the browser instead.

EXO’s Baekhyun spotted on a late night date with a mysterious woman

I didn't even have to read the article as the pictures said it all. 

Hugging.

Hand holding.

And even a kiss.

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Did you really expect me to make it that easy for them to be together?

haha and I snuck in an update at 2AM haha I'm not tired but I know the moment I hit the bed...Good Night ^.^

The spot is still free...

haha luck bottle