It had been months since Taeyang had last seen Daesung’s face. Sure, he’d seen him seen him, but he never actually looked at his face. Each time he would need to be around Daesung, he would work very hard to look anywhere else but in Daesung’s direction. During an interview a few days ago, Taeyang was actually asked about his new habit. Without missing a single beat, he straightened from his position of leaning on his elbows and grinned slightly. He stared right out at the audience, letting his gaze pass over them all as he answered boldly.  

“I just like looking at all the beautiful women that come to see us.” Flashing that cute smile he knew the fans loved, he waved to the audience and winked. “Hi, ladies.”

As expected, the women in the audience lost it. Squeals of delight sounded throughout the studio and joined loud applause as Taeyang blushed slightly. Even the interviewer couldn’t help but join in. She paid him some generic compliment to which he bowed his head and continued on with her questions. Jiyoung and Seungri were trying to contain their laughter along with T.O.P. Daesung’s soft chuckle sounded in his ear and his eyes immediately tried to seek out Daesung’s face. It took everything he had but Taeyang successfully fought the urge, his heart having missed a beat in it’s pace. That was a little too close. 

 ‘When is this damn thing over again…?’ Taeyang barely remembered the rest of the interview. Let alone the rest of the week. Wanting to see his angel’s face opened up the hole in his heart. He should have been more careful but he wasn’t going to let this mess up months of progress. Days passed and Taeyang began to spend more and more time in the gym and the studio. He was up before dawn every morning, exercising to push his body harder and farther. In the recording studio he worked with Teddy and other producers to develop a myriad of beats and rhythms for him to experiment and write to. Late at night, when everyone else had left the practice room, Taeyang would pop in the latest samplers that Teddy  had put together for him. He’d turned most of the lights off, save for the spotlights in the center and cranked the music as loud as he could. The bass on this track was exceptionally strong and he caught the beat with ease, his mind losing all conscious thought as he began to move. All he wanted was to move tonight, the lyrics would come to him after he danced.

An hour passed and the sound of his sneakers squeaking across the polished floor sounded loudly in the room. His body was covered sweat, his white tank top clinging to the sculpted body he’d been working on for months. His body moved in hypnotizing waves and ripples, hair clinging in dark strands to his forehead. There was a break in the song and Taeyang decided it’d be a good spot to break into freestyle dance, backflip included. Another hour was dedicated to perfecting the flip, he wanted to hit the mark perfectly each time. The loose stonewashed jeans he wore made the perfect condition to practice in and he was fully satisfied after the fiftieth time. A soft clapping sounded suddenly and Taeyang’s head snapped up in surprise. Sitting quietly in a chair across the room sat Daesung, smiling softly and staring at him. Taeyang lowered his eyes immediately and turned to grab a towel from his gym bag against the back wall. 

“Hyung, that was really something wonderful to watch,” Daesung said from across the room. “I can really see the results of all that effort you’ve been putting in.” His voice sounded like it was getting closer and closer and Taeyang was started to panic. He couldn’t handle being alone with him yet. His training had helped to get him closer but he wasn’t there yet. Taeyang wiped the sweat from his face and arms, quickly slipping off his tank top before wiping down his stomach and back. 

“Thanks..”, he mumbled out before tossing his tank and the towel in his gym bag, grabbing it and his headphones and making his way towards the door. A pair of feet stepped into his vision and he stopped, sighing heavily, and tried to step around them. “Excuse me, I have to get back into the recording studio.”

“Why have you been avoiding me, YoungBae hyung?” Daesung’s voice sounded solemn, hurt, and Taeyang could only sigh again.
“I haven’t been avoiding you, Dae. You know that I’m trying to work on material for a new album. I just want to do well on it.” Taeyang tried to move to the right and resume his exit but Daesung shifted into his path again.
“You’re a terrible liar, hyung..”, Daesung said flatly. Taeyang looked up at that and stared him in the face, slightly startled by what he saw there. 

Daesung’s face was dark and it was not because of the lack of light in the room. His eyes were deeply shadowed, the swell of his nose casting a shadow against one cheek. The usually sensual mouth that Taeyang normally loved was set in a harsh line that added a coldness to Daesung’s face and made him want to cry. He coughed to try and ease the tightness in his chest and moved to step around the younger male again. This time he was able to pass Daesung but a soon as he did, he felt a strong grasp on his shoulder. “Daesung, just let me…”

Taeyang’s words were cut short as he was spun around rather violently before Daesung gripped his face in his hands and crushed their mouths together. Taeyang could do nothing but allow himself to be kissed as shock paralyzed him momentarily, ‘Is Daesung really kissing me or did I fall asleep after practice again?’  Daesung suddenly pulled back from their kiss and stared into Taeyang’s face, eyes almost panicked as they searched the older males. A small whimper sounded from low in Daesung’s throat and he kissed Taeyang again harshly. He released one of his hands from his hyung’s face and cupped the back of Taeyang’s head, tangling his fingers in the semi-long, dark hair. Taeyang tried to pull back from the kiss to catch his breath but Daesung panicked and clutched him tighter. The younger male then slipped his tongue out and passed it over Taeyang’s lower lip, begging for entrance into his hyung’s mouth. Taeyang was beginning to lose his grip on himself. Daesung like this is all he ever wanted and something told him it was too good to be true. 

Before he could make his move to break free from the embrace, Daesung bit down on his lower lip and caused Taeyang to moan out loud. The moment he did, Daesung took the chance to slip his tongue deep into Taeyang’s mouth, both of them groaning in pleasure at the taste of one another. Taeyang dropped his bag to the ground and grasped Daesung by the back of the neck, deepening the kiss immensely. It was all lips, tongues and teeth between them as they all but consumed one another. Their tongues danced together in a battle for dominance and for a while, Taeyang let Daesung believe he would win. But soon the elder male showed his real dominance when he roughly the blonde’s tongue into his mouth and wouldn’t let go until Daesung whimpered loudly. The younger male pressed his forehead against his hyung’s, both of them panting heavily and still clinging to one another. 

“Daesung-ah, I don’t understand.” Taeyang managed to breathe out. He was just as happy as he was confused but he really needed to know. 
“Hyung, I’ve missed you so much. I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to,” Daesung finished his sentence with another searing kiss to Taeyang’s mouth. The feeling of Daesung’s mouth pressed so passionately against his was driving Taeyang to the brink of madness. He needed to wake up. This dream was far more intense than any he had ever had and he knew that his self-isolation was the cause of it. Convinced he had fallen asleep before leaving the studio, Taeyang fought with everything he had to wake himself up from his dream. For months and months, he had done everything he could to exhaust himself so that he had no chance to dream at night. He needed to wake up so that he could continue to practice until he passed out from shear exhaustion and wouldn’t have this dream again.

“I need to wake up. Wake up, YoungBae.” Taeyang began talking to himself, eyes closed as he dropped his hands away from Daesung. Daesung pulled away from him, eyes searching his hyung’s face in confusion as Taeyang continued muttering to himself.

“Wake up, YoungBae. Wake up, you fool! Wake up…wake up…WAKE UP!” Tears had begun streaming down his face and he felt the sob building in his chest. The dream was breaking him slowly and he didn’t know if he would recover from it. Strong, warm hands cupped his face gently,  smooth thumbs moving to wipe the steady stream of tears from his cheeks. Taeyang opened his eyes and through the haze found Daesung’s face still inches from his own, eyebrows furrowed and brown staring steadily into his own. In a voice deeper and steadier than he knew his own would be, Daesung comforted him.

“You’re awake…baby, don’t cry..”