Sehun was practicing his dance with Luhan in the studio. They stayed back in the room after practicing with SNSD seniors for the SM town collaboration stage. Chanyeol had to meet Baekhyun and left the two of them alone to refine their dance move.

 

It was pretty normal to have accident happen during a practice. Luhan accidentally tripped and fell onto Sehun, making him as his cushion for his fall. Sehun groan in pain and open his eyes to find Luhan’s face so close to his. Too close. He could feel shortness of breath and his heart was beating in an irregular pattern. He was feeling out of breath and had to keep on doing rapid breathing to make sure he had enough oxygen flowing in him.

 

Luhan quickly get off him and apologize for his clumsiness. Sehun just faked a smile and excuse himself. It was pretty common to have such accidents happening and most of the time they will just laugh it off. However the maknae choose to run away from the situation. He got out and hid at the staircase.

 

Sehun was breathing hard, trying to catch his breathe. He felt like he had just ran 48km, panting so hard that he feel like he was going to faint anytime. The young one could not understand why he was acting like this. Maybe he was just tired after the long practicing hours.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The maknae was lying on the sofa spending his free time by surfing the net. Luhan entered the living room feeling bored and decided to join the maknae on the couch. The young one did not notice his presence until the older one was less than 30cm away from him looking at his screen.

 

“What are you looking at?” Luhan spoke fluently in Korean.

 

The maknae was startled by Luhan and the dangerously close distance between them. It was starting to make him feel nausea. The closed up of Luhan’s flawless face was making him feeling weird inside. Not only that, Sehun could feel that he was starting to sweat despite the fact that it was a rather cold day in Korea.

 

Sehun quickly pushed Luhan away and ran into the toilet to resolve the problem by puking out whatever that was causing him to feel nausea about. The vocalist quickly followed him making sure that the dancer was okay.

 

“Sehun, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

 

The maknae just nodded his head and replied weakly, “I am okay.”

 

Luhan wanted to go over and help Sehun but his offer was rejected.

 

“Just leave me alone.” Sehun told Luhan coldly.

 

Sehun went back to his room and lied down on his own bed. He was feeling much better even though he did not manage to vomit anything out. Perhaps the busy schedule he had recently was affecting his health. He just needed more rest and to be alone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It took Sehun awhile to finally realise that he seems to feel sick whenever he was around Luhan. All the different symptoms he had which is sweating, nausea, rapid breathing and shortness of breath only happens when Luhan was around. It was getting more and more obvious and turning from bad to worse. As long as Luhan was within his sight, those symptoms will appear.

 

That was when Sehun knew he was suffering from Philophobia, the fear of being in love and falling in love.

 

The maknae then started avoiding Luhan whenever he could. This decision was painful but it was the only thing that he could do. The older one of course noticed the changed between them. He was spending less time with Sehun as compared to before. Luhan did not want to lose the special relationship they had and was trying his best to savage it. But Sehun just had to come up with all sorts of excuses so that he did not have to hang out with him.

 

This was driving Luhan crazy. What the hell did he do wrongly to make their relationship turned sour? He was determined to find out why.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Their dance practice had ended and Luhan quickly went over to Sehun and stopped him from leaving.

 

“We need to talk Sehun.” Luhan said it in a serious tone.

 

“Can we talk some other time? I have something to do now.” The younger one then walked away like all the other time.

 

Luhan grabbed him by his wrist and stopped him from leaving again, “we have to talk NOW.”

 

“I am not free.” Sehun swipe his hands away but failed.

 

The dancer struggle to break free from his hyung’s grip but Luhan did not let go off him easily.

 

“Can you ing let go of me?” The fear was slowly eating him up inside, he cannot stand another minute with Luhan anymore.

 

“Tell me what is wrong with you and I will let you go.” The vocalist was determined to find out whatever was in their way.

 

The maknae remain quiet. He was trying his best to control his breathing, not wanting the older one to notice there was something wrong.

 

“There is nothing wrong.” He answered calmly; trying to hide the restless feeling he had however he could not control himself from shaking in fear.

 

“You are lying…” Luhan could feel Sehun’s hands turning cold and trembling, “why are you trembling?”

 

“I am not.” The maknae denied the quickly and shook his hands off him and attempt to leave again.

 

Luhan did not give up so easily and pull him back again, “stop lying…”

 

Sehun could no longer hide it from his hyung, his hands was shaking uncontrollably and was worse than a minute ago, “okay, I am just ing scare. Can you now let go of me?”

 

However Luhan did not release his grip and kept on asking, “what are you scared of? You can share with me and we can face it together. I can help you.”

 

“You can’t.” Sehun said it in his hyung face, he do not want his help at all. It will just make things worse.

 

“If you don’t tell me, how would you know I can’t help? Maybe there is something I can do to help.” Luhan was persistent to help the younger one. Having Sehun to reveal a problem to him was a step closer to make things back to how it was before.

 

“You can help by letting go of my hand.”

 

They remained quiet for a while before Luhan break the silence, “Sehun, do you know it hurts me to know that we are no longer what we used to be like before? I am trying so hard to find out what’s wrong but you just refuse to tell me anything. What’s wrong? Can you just tell me what the hell is wrong?”

 

“Do you think is ing easy for me to avoid you? Do you know how ing painful it is for me? Do you know how many times I wish I wasn’t suffering from this phobia so that I can stay by your side even if it means just as best friends?”

 

Sehun thrashed out everything that was kept inside him for a long time. Luhan did not know what to say, every word the younger one said seems so difficult to understand all of the sudden. He did not know that Sehun was having such a hard time.

 

The silence was making Sehun guilty for throwing temper at Luhan. He could not blame him for all the pain and misery that he had tolerated for all this time. It was the stupid phobia that he had been causing it. Dammit. Why was he so weak?

 

“I am sorry.” Sehun apologised to his hyung.

 

 

 

Maybe this marks the end of their relationship.

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There is only two chapters to this story ~ Hope you have enjoyed the first part !