Story Title: Unforgettable Night
Author: CrystalYing
Story link: Here

Title: 4/5  

•   Did it catch my attention?

Well it has an essence of mystery in it but it didn’t really quite catch my attention that much. Though, I'm not quite sure if it's the best story for your fanfic. 

•   Is it memorable?

It’s short, simple and sweet. I think it’s one of the many titles that I would be able to remember. 

•   How original is it?

I have come across stories with the same title. I don’t think it’s that original. You could’ve made it more original, right?

Poster: /5

•   Is it eye catching?
•   Does it interest me to your story?
•   Is it creative?

{Can’t mark you for this. You don’t have a poster}

Description/ Foreword: 5/10

•   Did it interest me to read chapter one?

Well it did but you could’ve lengthened it a little bit. I’m sure it would’ve captured more attentions and made more people read it.

•   Was I ready to click the subscribe button just by reading the foreword?

No.

Chapter Titles: 4/5

•  Did they give a little insight to the chapter?

It’s the same title of your oneshot but that’s understandable since it is a oneshot after all.

Formal Language: 12/15

•   Grammar

…was pointing toward the number five.I think you should put an‘s’ after ‘toward’

Hastily grabbing my belongings, I thanked Hyun Ae for inviting for inviting me to her eighteenth birthday party and bid her good bye.I think you know what’s wrong with this sentence.

 I think you should just be careful with little mistakes here and there. You sometimes forget to put commas or placing commas where they do not belong and leave out a letter on things and such. Editing your oneshot won’t be so bad. Sometimes you are using present tense instead of past tense.

•   Spelling

I didn’t spot and spelling mistakes.

•   Vocabulary

You have a really good vocabulary. I admire your use of words.

Flow/ Layout: 14/15

•   Did it have a nice flow?

Yes it did.

•   Did you confuse me or was it crystal clear?

It was pretty clear.

•   Was your story set up properly?

Yes. It was easy to read. You had well structured paragraphs.

Plot: 10/15

•   How original was it?

Well if anything, I haven’t come across a oneshot quite like that. Though the being-terrified-and-running-away-but-ends-up-the-person-you’re-terrified-of-is-your-friend is pretty much used up.

•   Did it interest me?

In a way. It’s quite interesting how you didn’t mention the person until the very end.

Characters: 6/10

•  Did it give me a nice sense on what the character should be like?

I’m not sure whether because it was a really short oneshot or what but I felt that the characters weren’t that developed.

•   Was he/she intriguing?

Slightly, though I would’ve liked to know more.

Writing style: 8/10

• Was your writing style fascinating?

You’re writing style is pretty good! The way you explain things and such are very much intriguing. You were also very descriptive, thus creating vivid images inside my brain.

Overall Enjoyment: 9/10

•  Did the story connect to the audience?

Well it sort of did.

•  How entertaining was it?

I personally liked it. It was short, simple and sweet. The ending left me to wonder what their actual relationship is; since it didn’t quite emphasize romance.

Total: 72/95 

A big thanks to fizz-peaze for the review. Check out Fizz-Peaze's Review Shop at http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/46686/fizz-peaze-s-review-request-shop-closed-atm-apply-japanese-korean-kpop-request-review-you