Title: When The Sky Cries

Author: Asian_Innocence

Reviewer: x3_strucked

Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/22597/one-shot-when-the-sky-cries-angst-dbsk-jaejoong-oneshot-sad-tragedy

 

First Impressions

 

Title: 7/10

 

It’s a beautiful title, there’s no doubt about that, from the way it looks to the way it sounds, and to the deep depths of its tragic meaning (which I will be exploring further on). In terms of the meaning, this title has definitely achieved a medal, there is already a sense of tragedy/angst just by looking at it. But when we get to appearance, it’s another story. 

 

 Of course, I’m not trying to criticize the appearance of the title in any way. It looks and sounds beautiful and I think that’s really all you need for an effective title. But on first impressions, there really isn’t any, because my feelings towards this title on first glance are almost neutral. There wasn’t an element of suspense in this title, yes, the title looks and sound beautiful. But the title is… how should I say it? Too ordinary. There’s no theme in that title that pulls on my strings. 

 

The title is there, and that’s it. 

 

It’s one of those titles that you may look past while reading down a long list of stories. Of course, looking beside that fact, I must say that you pulled off yet another interesting title. Although not as attention-grabbing as your previous works, this title effectively reflects the plot of your story. Good job. 

 

Poster: 10/10

 

Leaving aside the rather neutral comment on your title, I must say that I am yet again impressed by the meaningful work of art in your poster. This poster is brilliant, I love the way the colours and the background reflect on the plot of your title and story. The whole overall look of it, the bluish tint and the water droplet effects transforms this whole effect of angst, but in the most beautiful and moving way. Maybe it’s because of the music in the background, but really, everything about the poster, the placement of the characters, the colouring, the effects and the background is all perfect. 

 

I can’t really find much to criticize about this poster, there’s really nothing to criticize about. The poster reflects the plot, check. The poster reflects the mood of the story, check. The water effects and droplets reflect the title, check. The poster looks beautiful, sad and moving, double check. 

 

This poster was really well made; I really loved everything about it. I could almost feel all the angst coming on just by looking at it.  I’m giving this a full mark, I haven’t done this for any poster before but I’m doing this because your poster is a true classic. 

 

A Closer Look

 

Originality/Creativity: 18/20

 

The first time I read through this one-shot, I had skimmed through it. Yes, I skimmed through it because I was not interested. Harsh of me to say that, but I was not interested with the characters, the plot or this whole “sky crying” thing. I knew it was going to be angst, I knew somebody was going to die. Why else would the sky be crying? It wouldn’t be crying for joy would it? At that time, originality was going very dry for me, I thought that this story would be the same angst one-shots I read all the time. The whole plot where one character dies, the other characters broods, is something unoriginal and seen so many times.

 

I thought yours was going to be the same, just written more descriptively and punctual. 

 

But I was wrong. So wrong. 

 

The second time when I sat down and finally read this one-shot, it was then I finally took back every first impression I had on this one-shot. There is just so much creativity going on with the story, I loved it and after I had finished reading it. I sat there for a while trying to work everything out because there were themes in the story that left me with so much questions. I must blame your amount of creativity used in this story (ha-ha, joke). 

 

This story will never be original, no story will ever be original. But your story had a twist, and it’s because of this twist that makes this story an original. Well unique, I must say. I have to say that the ending shocked me, I’m guessing that it shocked other readers as well. It’s because of this twist that affects the ending, making it a truly unique angst one-shot. Although it is unique in some way, it is still quite unoriginal in the other. But apart from that, the originality of this story is very high, one that I haven’t seen before. Well done. 

 

Plot: 19/20

 

This is the most beautiful ending I’ve seen for a one-shot. Not beautiful as in visually appealing, but as in beautiful in breathtaking and enchanting. This is a story that doesn’t focus on the plot, or even the characters but the ending. The ending for a one-shot is the most important. You have to finish everything in that last sentence, round up all the ideas, say your happily ever afters. 

 

An ending for a one-shot based on angst is something totally different, and something that I’ve seen a lot of times. I don’t know why, but endings for these sort of one-shots have been getting more and more unoriginal and more to the realistic side. Many one-shots would end with the tragic death of a character, and some sort of realisation or regret. Because that’s what defines angst, death and regret. An effective use of angst, but totally un-original, because everybody has used it already. 

 

Your story was different however, beautiful but so confusing. A total original ending but also a total question-forming one. Usually one-shots would end with the death of a character, your one-shot went the other way around by concluding that the character, Chunhei had died at the start of the one-shot. And this turns into a huge twist, because we were introduced with Jaejoong and Chunhei meeting together. And then realizing that Chunhei had died YESTERDAY, which means Jaejoong was either hallucinating or had met the ghost of Chunhei. 

 

I think the most tragic ending of this one-shot wasn’t Jaejoong hallucinating Chunhei but the after-shocks from the realization that Chunhei had died YESTERDAY. Jaejoong thought he had met up with Chunhei that evening, but how could he when Chunhei had passed away a day ago?

 

And that’s where the huge twist comes in. 

 

Had Jaejoong gone mentally un-stable or could he have seen the ghost of Chunhei?

 

I like this twist, and the questions that revolve around the ending. Although realistically, Jaejoong has appeared to have gone into an emotional wreck or breakdown that he is hallucinating visual images of Chunhei. I would also like to think spiritually, maybe we don’t know everything about reality yet. Maybe Chunhei had really came down from heaven to meet Jaejoong.  Metaphorically speaking, we are talking about the skies aren’t we? 

 

But sadly we have to think on a more even realistic level, and we have to accept that Jaejoong has either gone mentally unstable or gone into an emotional breakdown. Both is just as bad and this is why I love the ending. The angst didn’t come from the death of Chunhei, well yes it did, but the angst is more focused on Jaejoong and how he will have to deal with this in the future. 

 

Whether or not Jaejoong had gone crazy or had really seen the ghost of Chunhei is a question that one cannot really answer. But one thing I can answer is that this ending was beautiful, not epic, but beautiful in the most silent and tragic way. It’s like a knife, slowly digging inside your chest. 

 

Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation/Vocabulary: 20/20

 

It bothers me that I can’t find one mistake even when I’m trying to. 

 

Oh well, maybe I wasn’t looking hard enough. 

 

Final Conclusion

 

Writing Style: 18/20

 

This is my third time reviewing something that you’ve written right? Your writing style hasn’t changed one bit, it’s still so beautifully written, descriptive and well thought out. The only thing that is in my mind right now is that your style of writing is always the same. Of course, I’m not complaining, there’s nothing wrong with your writing style, it’s just reading your stories it feels like I’m reading the same story but a different chapter. Gets slightly monotone in a way. 

 

But anyway, this story was really well written from the description to the plot. Everything was well planned out and everything fitted together like jigsaw pieces. A great one-shot, I loved it!

 

Total: 92/100

 

Overall Impression

 

This was the first one-shot to shock me with its unexpected ending. At first, I thought you had written a typo and I had wanted to point it out that Chunhei didn’t die YESTERDAY. But then after a brief moment of thought, everything made sense. I think this will probably be one of the best written one-shots that I have read. Not that I have read much since I mainly read chaptered stories.

At first I was not interested with the dull title and the characters, but it was the plot and the ending that pulled me in. This really just proves that appearance doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter about who’s biases appear on this one-shot, it doesn’t matter how cheesy and catchy the title is. It’s all about the quality, the quality of the descriptions, emotions and plot.

 

Your one-shot is an excellent example of this. Well done!

 

By the way, sorry about this awfully late review. I really messed up didn’t I? I hope you didn’t mind, homework and school was getting in the way of my time. The review I written wasn’t my best, it was a big jumble of ideas really. But it made sense, and most of all I pointed out everything I needed to point out.