Word count: 6,515

rating: pg-13

The first time Kim Gwiboon laid eyes on those pair of brown orbs was in freshman year.

Groups of fourteen year olds scattered across the campus with their instructors telling them where each building is. With it being ten times more bigger than middle school, the high school took a fear among the kids considering that everything was bigger and simply more intimidating than their old school. Some were excited and some were scared less. It was a day before school started and everyone was already feeling nervous, now regretting ever saying that they wanted to leave middle school to go to high school where all the big kids went.

Kim Gwiboon looked at her schedule and the map of the whole school, making a mental note and circled all the classes she was in just so that she wouldn't be a lost duck on the first day of high school. It would be utterly embarrassing if that was the case, map in hand, spinning in circles, and too afraid to ask anybody only because of the fear of annoying someone with her cluelessness. After all freshmans weren't exactly loved by their peers. She wasn't quite fully nervous but the butterflies in her stomach lingered a bit. Her friends all gathered around, comparing schedules and hi-fiving each other at the fact that they had the same classes with each other and others at the fact that they didn't have classes with one another.

She looked around the campus to see a number of familiar faces, faces from kindergarten till now. The heat made everything ten times horrible as the sweat on her face caused her glasses to slide down once in a while. She pushed her black rimmed glasses up to positioned it to a more comfortable angle, content with it being securely on the bridge of her nose. After seeing too many faces far too familiar, a wave a disappointment hit her, she honestly wanted to see some new faces only because seeing the same faces in every class she was in wasn't exactly exciting anymore.

But really, she wasn't even good in making friends in the first place. People weren't really her thing. How she had a decent amount of friends still amazed her until this very day.

The summer didn't change her. Having summer goals, the perfect body, the ultimate transformation did her no good. She vowed that she would change herself and even crossed her heart but ended up sitting down on the couch and eating junk food to her hearts galore. She still was in that awkward phase, talking to boys was still a problem, and the black rimmed glasses always made her insecure. When she was with friends she would talk loudly, laugh loudly, and everything in between. The problem was when she met new people or boys if you would put it. It was hard, especially at the fact that most of her friends were girls and her lack of experiance is quite sad.

She was always insecure despite the fact that her friends called her 'cute' everyday. But the compliments that came from her girl friends didn't really mean much to her. They said it almost everyday, it was bound to lost its meaning. Because didn't girls always compliment other girls like it was normal?

It was hard, she'd always wanted a guy as a best friend. Having an opposite to talk to and learn about their views was something she'd always wanted to know. Where they would both tell secrets with each other, go to each others houses uninvited, and never feeling awkward with each other. The problem was that she couldn't even look into a guy's eyes for more than five seconds. The reason why was because she felt that in those five seconds was room for judgment. There was always room for judgment. She was scared at them seeing the details and imperfections of her face. What if they thought she was ugly? Or thought her feline eyes were unbearable to look at? Or the way her lips were shaped weird? She was always taught that you shouldn't care about what people say but that advice would always be complete bull to her in the end. She could and never will be able to accept that fact.
People in this society say how “looks don't matter, its the personality that does.” which was partially true, but honestly the perfect outer appeal attracts people to learn about their inner appeal.

Beauty before personality.

Society was complicated.


One second, one second was all it took to notice the pair of brown orbs and deep auburn hair swept to the side. It was the first time seeing him, he had to be new, or from a different school at the same district. But that didn't matter, because a small blush tinted the apples of her cheeks as she looked away from the male, too embarrassed after making eye contact.

It'd been a long time since she had felt the feeling of developing a new crush. She almost completely forgot of the feeling since the last time she had a crush was way back in sixth grade (which the guy ended up being the complete opposite from her type)

Maybe, maybe this year she would finally come out of her shell.

She was quite disappointed that the next day she didn't have any classes with the mysterious male with the perfect brown orbs she took notice yesterday.

Was she being dumb?

Was she being a little over her head?

She didn't even know his name for Christ sakes! Maybe she was being a little too hopeful. Maybe this wasn't even considered to be an actual real crush. For all she knew he could have been a jerk or someone not her type. But god those eyes that completely her in deep was hard to escape.

The second time she sees him is when shes walking to her third period. Her heart starts beating quickly and it's pretty ing ridiculous considering that it was only the second time she had ever seen him. He smiles to his friend to the right and her head starts spinning in a way that she wants to puke. Puke at the fact that the smile on the male's face makes her sick to her stomach because it's sickeningly gorgeous. She can't stop staring and she can't even tear away from his face.

The rounded eyes that complimented the male's deep brown eyes made it even harder to not stare. And the way his jaw line seem so perfectly define and sharp she'd wonder if it was possible to have that. She still stares, pushing her glasses up and fixes her black hair to make herself look decent enough to have his attention.

She snorts at the idea but still, deep down it may be a possibility.

He passes her without a glance.

The third time she sees him is a week after, he's discussing about the new project his teacher assigns their class with her friend, Nicole. Gwiboon furrows her eyebrows as they discuss deeply about English (which was an honors class). Gwiboon stands next to Nicole, and it's the first time Gwiboon has ever been this close to him before. She smiles secretly at the fact even though Nicole is right in between them. After he is done talking to her, he bids her goodbye without giving a glance at Gwiboon, again. An overwhelming of disappointment hits Gwiboon hard at the fact that his presence is now gone. Nicole happily smiles at Gwiboon and questions why she has a frown on her face but quickly removes it as Gwiboon tells her hows honors class going.

It's two months into the school year. She had found out that his name was Kim Jonghyun, top of his class and a sweetheart among many. She had also found out that many of her friends were also friends with him, all but her. She would be lying if she said she wasn't jealous at all. The fact that everyone but her could talk so naturally with him made her want to just curl up into a ball and curse at her inability to socialize properly with the other .

One day, one day she will.

Winter was her favorite season.

She crouched down and felt the plants that were once filled with life through her slim fingers. The snow covered almost the whole school, but she didn't mind, she had always been fond of snow. She brought her scarf up to her nose to protect the already red tip from getting any redder. Still crouched down she stares at the already dead flowers on the ground and rested her head on her arms that was perched comfortably on top of her knees.

“At least you have more life than me.” Gwiboon looks the dead plant and snorts because of the fact that her life was pathetic. In the corner of her eyes she sees movement. Slowly she turns her head but is still resting on her arms. She sees him, Kim Jonghyun entering school, wearing a leather jacket that fits perfectly on his frame, outlining the toned arms  the male had. He enters the school while whistling a happy tune despite the cold weather and smiles when he enters the building. Gwiboon smiles softly and the only thing she can do is watch, because no matter how much times her attention is on him, she knows that his attention would never be on hers.

Pathetic. Pathetic was the perfect word to describe Kim Gwiboon at the moment. It's been 4 months since freshman orientation and secretly gathering information about Jonghyun from her friends made her feel so...pathetic. She learned that he was incredibly smart, enrolled in five honors classes. She told herself to just forget about him, just forget the fact that he will never notice nor have a decent conversation with her like he did with all her friends. She wasn't even close to be considered smart and smart people liked other smart people right? He probably didn't even know her name or she existed which was the saddest part.

But once she learned that he could play guitar and sing she was back in.

Green grass started replacing the snow and her blouse keeps her content from the warmth spring has to offer. Today was April 8, Kim Jonghyun's birthday. She learned this from his facebook account, that she had to hesitate days before finally clicking the “send request” button She didn't even log onto facebook a week later after getting over her embarrassment. He accepted and a smiled graced on her face, he has to know her name by now right?

She looks into the mirror telling herself “you can do this” multiple times before finally heading out the door to school. When she enters school her stomach gives her this feeling that makes her want to just go home and forget what she ever promised herself to do. Every second that passed was something she didn't want to face, if only time could stop for a while.

Or a lot.

“You will say happy birthday to him Kim Gwiboon, fighting!”

It's third period and the only time of day she gets to see him. He's talking to her friends, all five of them and she casually stands next to them not really wanting to be noticed but at the same time she does. His eyes turn into little crescents whenever he smiles, that adorable lopsided smile she has come to love. It's not perfect but thats what makes it so perfect. The bell rings and they all say 'happy birthday' to him and she's looking down hesitating whether or not she should just do it and get it over with. He smiles at the birthday messages and thanks them.

When he turns around to walk away Gwiboon finally opens .

“Happy birthday, Jonghyun!” He turns around and acknowledges her presence and he smiles.

“Thank you.” Gwiboon smiles and turns around. She felt as if she won a gold medal, in a way she sorta did.

She smiles the rest of the day and possibly her entire lifetime.

The end of freshman year she gets rid of her glasses and finally buys contacts. She tries to pass by him as she pretends to focus on her friend but in the corner of her eye was all attention on him. He still doesn't notice her but she doesn't mind, the “thank you” she received two months ago keeps her satisfied for now.

Sophomore year comes fast and she wondered where time went. That summer she does finally change her appearance. Her hair passes her shoulders beautifully, she dyes it stunningly auburn instead of that black hair she used to have and the brown locks bounces in every step she takes. She changes her style too, after reading countless of fashion magazines she is interested in fashion in a way that gets her addicted. Too addicted and it's starting to scare her a bit. She starts taking interests in makeup too after watching countless of Michelle Phan and Bubzbeauty videos.The only thing that doesn't change is her ability to be comfortable around guys and it's probably worse than ever.

Old habits die hard.

She enters school feeling a bit more confident in herself and the guys wondered how Kim Gwiboon changed so much. Distressed shorts, chiffon shirt with a cute patterned collar, and ray band shades compliments her new look quite well. The guys take interest in her but the only thing she wants to see was him, it had always been him and only him.

The first thing she thinks as she steps into school is “Will I finally have a class with Jonghyun this year?”

She snorts at the fact because he's probably in every AP class high school has to offer and she dies a little inside because of her schedule full of regular classes. Her friends all compliment her but this time they all say “You look like a kpop star now!” “You're so pretty” instead of “You're so cute”. Jonghyun isn't in her sight and she sighs as she heads off to her classes.

Shes pretty disappointed that her English class is full of delinquents and immature people and it's not fair especially since she adores English. The day gets worse as she goes to her counselor to change her English class to something more, mature for her age but ends up having to change seats only because her counselor thinks “It's not the class that you hate maybe if you sit in the back you will get away from all of the distractions.” Gwiboon thinks it's complete utter bull but goes with it anyways.

She finds out that Jonghyun has the same chemistry class together and she silently thanks the gods in heaven for the wonderful gift they have blessed her. She passes by him but he doesn't look up and it's starting to piss her off as she takes a random seat close to him but not too close to make it obvious.

The first day was horrible, countless teachers explaining the rules of the classroom thats been reviewed ever since elementary school and she rolls her eyes at it and decides to scribble on the desks instead. In the end of the day she smiles because of that one class she's in with Jonghyun and it makes her all giddy inside.

Only because she's sick of her life she joins a club that helps the community and she thanks god once again as Jonghyun comes in the club room and joins too.

Nothing exciting happens during the next half of the year, but she's starting to volunteer packing canned food in bags to the homeless and she thinks its quite fun and rewarding knowing that shes feeding lives to the need. Jonghyun doesn't come to any of the community events but only the club meetings once in a while. She wonders if he does homework 24/7 and she's disappointed whenever she shows up to a charity event and he's not there.

The only interaction she has with him is when her seat is assigned right behind him and he passes paper back to her, if you call it an interaction if you say “thank you” and he replies with a “you're welcome”. For the time being she stares at his back for the whole period because of how toned it is and how his shoulders are so broad she gets into a dreamy state that makes her miss the whole lesson on balancing equations. She regrets it when she gets an F on her chemistry test about balancing equations.

The next day was probably the best day of her life, more better than the day she said “happy birthday” to him last year. She sits on one of the empty desks for her club meeting and she's rather early. She knows that Jonghyun is on the other side but honestly the mere thought doesn't get her excited only because its been so long without no interaction she starts to have no hope so she doesn't bother. Her friends are the club presidents and they write “HAPPY TUESDAY” on the board with big, bright pink letters and she's fascinated with the way the marker smoothly glides across the white board and it's memorizing her.

“Gwiboon!” Her heart stops and she says “No it's just in your head” multiple times in her mind and refuses to turn her head.

“Gwiboon!” She turns around and her heart stops in a way that she's surprise that she isn't dead yet. Jonghyun is looking directly at her and she doesn't know what to do, she probably looks like a deer in headlights by now.

“How did you do in Mr. Lee's chemistry test?” She's shaking by now only because he's trying to have a conversation with her and it amazes her to no end. She looks around anywhere but him because she thinks he's looking at every imperfection she has and her confidence drops down rock bottom.

“O-oh that? I thought it was pretty hard considering I got such a bad grade.” Her voice is shaking by now and he's still looking at her with those adorable eyes she loves. He laughs lightly and her stomach is filled with a million butterflies that makes her want to go down in , take a shotgun, and kill those butterflies so that they wouldn't stop fluttering so much.

“I thought it was pretty hard too.” He smiles at her and she just wants to take a camera and take his picture and sleep with it every night. Gwiboon didn't consider herself weird, just odd thats all. The bell rings that the club starts right just as he was about to open his mouth to talk. They both ended it off with a small smile.

By this time she doesn't tell anyone her crush on Jonghyun but her best friend Taeyeon. A cute bubbly girl with a short bob that Gwiboon adores so much. Taeyeon is always suggesting for Gwiboon to just give up on Jonghyun because her love life is plain boring.

And when Gwiboon spazzes about her small talk with Jonghyun, Taeyeon rolls her eyes and states that she got excited for nothing.

What a good friend Gwiboon thinks.

The next four months the small talk excitement continues to die down and it doesn't make her feel all giddy anymore. She's tired, very tired. The countless outfits she buys, the makeup she wears, is all starting to go to waste only because Jonghyun only glances at her but not really noticing her. So she looks away not even noticing how long he stares at her after she walks away.

He's starting to get close to Soojin, Gwiboon only knows that she's amazingly smart (perfect for Jonghyun) amazingly pretty (perfect for Jonghyun) and an amazing violinist (also perfect for Jonghyun)

Gwiboon cries later that night yelling to the world about why she can't be smart, pretty, or talented like Soojin and why Jonghyun can't notice her like he notices everyone else in the world. She sleeps with red puffy eyes and she knows it's not good for your appearance the next day but she doesn't care, no one will notice, no one ever does anyways.

She's in the school library in the morning, sleeping with her head on the desk and her hands supporting her. Every once in a while her head is bobbing back and forth but she can't help it. She doesn't even notice when Jonghyun is standing right in front of her smiling softly as she struggles to sleep and keep her head steady enough to keep it still but failing otherwise.

Sophomore year ends as boring as ever and Gwiboon happily bids it goodbye forever. She's not really looking into Junior year since it's the hardest year of all, but hey life wasn't always easy.

This summer she's finally seventeen and she spends her birthday like every other year with Taeyeon at an all you can eat Korean BBQ. Taeyeon snorts at the fun and party life Gwiboon has and tells her to have fun once in a while. Gwiboon dyes her hair stunningly honey blonde that is slightly longer than last summers hairstyle and has straight bangs that frames her hair perfectly. Taeyeon is amazed at how different Gwiboon looks and almost, just almost, turns lesbian for her if she didn't already have a boyfriend, which was Choi Minho, Jonghyun's best friend. And how Gwiboon and Jonghyun are not friends yet still amazes her till this day.

“If he doesn't notice you now, one, he may be gay, two, he likes someone else, or three, he's married to his homework.” Taeyeon states as she plays with Gwiboon's new golden locks through her fingers. Taeyeon smiles secretly, she should tell her about the things Jonghyun tells to Minho and tells Taeyeon, but Gwiboon will have to find that out herself.

Maybe, just maybe they weren't meant to be.

Maybe, just maybe Junior year was the last year she tried.

Gwiboon thinks long that night before school starts again and she stares at the ceiling for a long period of time and tries to make out little patterns she can see from the bumps and lumps of the wall.

She enters the familiar school and sighs, a new year, a new beginning. Unlike last year the boys start to gawk at Gwiboon. She's more beautiful than ever, her curves fill in the right places, her long legs are evident from the tight skinny jeans and the two inch heels combat boots she is wearing. She wants to stand out but she is still not confident, she wants people to look at her but at the same time she doesn't. She doesn't know what she wants, she is still afraid of boys and it's getting pretty ridiculous, she has to fix this one day.

This year she has no classes with him, she isn't surprised but it would be nice if she was in one with him. But then again last years Chemistry class wasn't exciting as she expected. They both barely talked and every time the teacher picked random people to become partners, she was never paired with Jonghyun.

Half of the year gets hectic as college applications are sent in and stuff like “what do you wanna be when you grow up?” question is popping up nowadays and slowly she is forgetting about Jonghyun. She still sees him happily chatting with Soojin everyday but all she says to herself that it will never happen, get over it.

And she does.

Slowly but surely she does.

She's thinking about her future while her friends are constantly worried about having a boyfriend or not and Gwiboon rolls her eyes at them. She had always thought they were annoying but never said anything about it. She wonders why she hangs out with them when the only friend she needs is Taeyeon. Taeyeon is still with Minho and it's been two years now Gwiboon admires them to the full extent. Though, she would hate it when she was the third wheeler between the two as they would make out in front of her or Minho will carry her surprisingly and Taeyeon will squeak cutely. They were in love. Gwiboon smiles at the sight and wishes them for the best.

January rolls on by and her junior year is halfway over. The rain falls down onto the earth and she closes her eyes because the sound is beautiful, rather alluring. She's standing in the bus stop and she knows the bus wont come thirty minutes later. So she stands there, her head slightly lifted up, a cute transparent umbrella over her head, and her hands out feeling the wet substance cover her hand. It's the most relaxing thing she has ever experienced this year that was filled with homework, applications, big tests, and projects. Her honey blonde hair stands out from the dull gray that covers the sky and the dark blue coat she's wearing. Black transparent leggings cover her legs and she thinks it wasn't such a good idea to have picked that on a rainy day, but she doesn't care, she really doesn't.

“Do you like the rain?” She's startled by the new voice and she turns her head. She sees none other than Kim Jonghyun, with one of his earphones in and tousled up hair. He's wearing a black leather jacket and it's been a long time since she has looked at him. He's even more handsome than the last time she saw him. He's slightly more toned now, his gray v-neck hugs his body so perfectly well and the little beauty mark on his chest is revealed. A black umbrella covers him. The butterflies in her stomach are still there, they're hidden, but still there. She smiles and laughs lowly and he turns his head to stares at her beautiful, creamy skin that glowed in rainy days like this. Gwiboon doesn't look at him though.

“It's nice isn't it?” Gwiboon replies back and he hums. A silence takes over them but it's not awkward, more relaxing more than any. Maybe it's the sound of rain that makes everything so peaceful, yeah, it was the rain.

The bus is crowded as always and they both get on and have to stand instead. Her heart starts picking up as she feels his body heat against her back and she wants more. Unconsciously she steps back to make room for the others and thats when her back is fully pressed against his and he grunts a little. Her eyes widened and mutters a "sorry" to him and he replies with an “it's fine” but he's stuttering.

The man in front of her is starting to scare her a bit as he presses his back against her front and she freaks out. Jonghyun notices and immediately switches their roles as he's in front of her and the old man is clearly disappointed. Jonghyun stares down at Gwiboon as she looks down to avoid his gaze. The bus is getting more crowded as each stop passes by and each time his body is getting closer and closer to hers til their bodies come into contact. She wonders if he can feel her heart beating super fast and possibly hear it. Honestly she couldn't even hear the people around her as the blood is rushing through her ears. She can feel his muscles against her and she wants to just melt into a puddle.

She jumps when she feels his hand slowly taking a strand of hair and pulling it back her ear. She refuses to look up because her face probably would put tomatoes into shame and what if he thinks I look ugly up close?

“Gwiboon.” She looks up and she is surprised she isn't dead yet. He's staring at her deeply and she can't figure out the emotions behind those deep brown orbs she fell in love with the very first day.

“Y-yeah?” Her voice shakes a little and she can't help it when he's so close. So so close to the point where she can't even breathe.

“Nothing.” Jonghyun sighs but still looks at her and she is hypnotized and can't look away. Those brown orbs that seem to sparkle every time she looks at them and it's simply, absolutely, stunning. She wants to know the emotions behind them but can't, she's lost into those eyes, trapped even. It's been five minutes and her stop finally comes.

“Bye.” She bids him goodbye and quickly exit out the doors with tinted cheeks. She takes a quick glance at him and he's still in the same position. Turning around she runs home because of the heavy rain and he watches how her blonde hair flows gracefully from side to side as she runs to go home.

That night she is confused and lays in bed all day. The unfinished homework can wait as it's piled up in the corner of her room collecting dust. She wonders if she should try, just try one more time, maybe just maybe it would work. A blush creeps on her cheeks and she squeals, just a little, ok maybe a lot but hey who can blame the girl?

During the next four months Jonghyun and Gwiboon start sharing eye contact with each other. She would either smile softly at him when she caught him looking and he would do the same. It wasn't much, but the little things always seem to make Gwiboon happy. It was all she needed.

“Minho is having an end of the year party, he told me I should invite you.” Taeyeon is eating her lunch and finally gets time to eat with her best friend.

“You know I don't like high school parties, especially the crazy ones Minho throws.” Gwiboon rolls her eyes.

“Come on Gwiboon! It'll be fun! All you do is sit at home all day you need to meet someone new and get yourself a significant other. I'm surprised you are still single.” Gwiboon shrugs and brushes it off.

“No.” Gwiboon looks at her telling her that her answer is final.

“Aw come on please!” Taeyeon gives her best puppy dog eyes. Oh no. If it was one thing Gwiboon had a weakness for was Jonghyun eyes, kittens, and Taeyeon's puppy dog look. She tried looking away but the look was already imprinted in her mind.

“Fine ok!” Gwiboon finally gives in and Taeyeon squeals loudly and immediately goes shopping right after school.

Gwiboon picks out a sleek black dress that has lace in the back and reveals her smooth porcelain skin. The dress went up to the mid thigh not too short and not too long, it was perfect. She topped it off with black heels that weren't too obnoxiously high. Her hair was in loose curls and she applied some makeup. It was a party so why not?

When she entered the crowded house filled with drunk guys and girls, couples making out in every corner, and a dance floor filled with bodies grinding each other. Her nose scrunched up in disgust at the lust filled air, maybe staying at home wouldn't be such a bad idea and playing Sims on her computer sounded like fun right now. As she passed by to see if she knew people, guys tried hitting on her but before they can do that she immediately would run away. As she was running she harshly bumps into someone and she apologizes multiple times, bowing her head so low. As she looked up she gasped when she sees Jonghyun's face. He's wearing a leather jacket again, this time dark brown. He has a black graphic tee and gray skinny jeans that were perfect on him, his hair was even perfectly tousled up and styled. She tried to not stare creepily on his body but it was so damn hard. A smile lit on his face and tried talking to her over the music.

“I didn't think you go to these.” Gwiboon can feel his hot breath ghosting over her ear and she shivered from the small action.

“I didn't think you did either.” She stood on her toes to reach his ears but still had a good distance, too shy to go any closer. He chuckled at the action and thought how utterly cute she was.

“Wanna dance?” She immediately shook her head with fear overtaking her feline eyes.

“I-I can't dance, hey!” Unexpectedly he grabs her hand into the middle of the dance floor and she doesn't know what to do when he is behind her, wraps his arms around her waist and whispers in her ear. Everything was happening so fast, her head was spinning and it felt so, so good. The music and the lights are hazing her mind in such a way that she had never felt before. His arms felt so safe around her and she can't help but hold in a grunt or a moan because honestly this happened only in her dreams in the past three years.

“Just move your hips like this.” Eventually she gets lost in the beat and shes moving her body beautifully against his and he is amazed, everyone is amazed. Guys are staring in jealously at Jonghyun, girls are wondering how the does her body moves like that. Gwiboon is starting to think she likes dancing and it starts to interest in it. She does a wave that makes her brush oh so closely on his groin and he grunts. She doesn't hear it because of the music, she's too lost into the beat. They face each other and she immediately wraps her arms around his neck and he pulls her closer by the waist.

By this time she's not nervous like she always is, this time it's different. Maybe because it's the music and the lights that is slowly taking over her mind. Her confidence is radiating beautifully and it's so y to Jonghyun he's almost speechless. He stares into those feline eyes that always screamed insecure but now screamed something so different. He's entranced and he can't stop staring into her eyes that seem to scream “If you want it come and get it.” His mind slowly loses all thoughts as a small smirk curves upwards on her lips. The heart-shaped lips that are so perfectly perfect.

Their foreheads come into contact and they're breathing heavily. They are so close, so so close. He wants to lean in and kiss her passionately and ravish those gorgeous lips. The creamy neck that screamed to him, the neck he wanted to mark as his own.

He couldn't.

He can't.

It wouldn't be right.

They both break apart and instantly the confidence in her eyes goes back to normal. A heavy blush appears on her cheeks and Jonghyun honestly wouldn't forgive himself if he just did what he wanted to do a second ago. She feels his hand grab hers and pulls her away from the crowd.

“Where are we going?” He only turns around and smiles.

He drags her outside and they both ditch the party, she wants to know where they're going but she decides to keep shut. Instead she smiles at their hands that are laced together. She squeezes lightly and he squeezes right back, her world starts to light up instantly.

This was better than any dream she had imagined with him in the past three years. Why? Because it was real. It was finally real.

She sees a park ahead and he takes her to the playground and they both lay down.

“So this is where you wanted to take me?” He nods and smiles.

“That party was lame anyways.” She agrees with him and looks back up in the sky where all the stars are visible. It's a full moon tonight and the stars are more visible than ever.

“Gwiboon... do you like me?” Her heart stops as she looks at him, he doesn't look at her though, his eyes are focused up in the sky.

Maybe....this time was the last time I tried.

“Freshman orientation was the first time I saw you. Those brown eyes got my attention immediately and I felt so so pathetic, liking someone who I don't even know who they were nor their name.” She chuckled at her pathetic self.

“You knew all my friends, everyone but me. I...I tried so hard to get your attention but nothing ever worked. Freshman year was a fail so I thought Sophomore year would be more of a success. It was... a little. I changed my appearance so that hopefully you'll notice but it was the same. I wanted to give up but the day you called my name and talked to me I wanted to try again and maybe junior year I would be more lucky. But half of that year I realized how someone like you would like someone like me. I'm not smart like that Soojin girl and my theory had always been, smart guys liked smart girls right?”

She laughs bitterly and chokes a little. She feels pathetic to share all this with the guy shes had a crush on for three damn years already. What has she got to lose right?

He stares at her and tears run down her beautiful face but a bitter smile is evident. He doesn't believe how a face could look so beautiful when it cries.

“You don't have to feel sorry for me, I don't need to hear that you like me too, I just wanted to get this off my chest.”

He sighs and rolls on top of her, placing his right arms above her head. She doesn't react though, her emotion is still the same only because she feels so numb right now. The tears silently fall down but she isn't in an emotional wreck with eyeliner running down her face but a cry Jonghyun labels as beautiful to him.

“And what if I say I do?” Jonghyun wipes her tears away with her thumb and more tears slide down her face.

“Then you are a ing idiot for taking so long.” Gwiboon's face doesn't change and his lips curve upwards.

“And you're an idiot for not noticing my obvious glances whenever you came into my view in Freshman year.”

The biggest smile appears on Gwiboon's face and Jonghyun smiles back.

“And you're the biggest idiot for not making it obvious enough.”

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A/N So this is the LONGEST oneshot i've ever wrote and it was a pain in the tbh