One of Jessica’s pet peeves is broken-down machinery, the kind that screws up in the middle of her work. Her computer once broke down while she was making a report that was due the next day, and she almost got kicked out of work by her boss. She once wore a cute white blouse with brown blotches in it, because the coffee maker got busted while she was pouring herself a cup of coffee. Then again, that day, she was too engrossed in making copies of disbursement vouchers when she realized that the copying machine had already stopped doing its job.

“Shoot, oh shoot. Can somebody--” Jessica said, panicking as she turned around and looked around her for some trusty co-worker to assist her.

“Can somebody help me here?” 

All she saw in return were shaking heads. She hurried to the end of the room and approached the supplies officer.

“Excuse me, but can you make the copying machine work normally? I have to make a hundred copies of these papers before noon. The machine stopped working.”

“Sure thing, Ma’am.”

The supplies officer grabbed a screw driver from the cabinet.

“Wait, can’t you ask me what was wrong with it?”

“We know what’s wrong with it,” the man said matter-of-factly. They walked back to the copying machine, and the supplies office bent down to open a compartment in the machine. He chuckled, before twisting some screws and stuff that Jessica didn’t know. After minutes of tweaking, the man closed the compartment and stood up to face Jessica.

“Thanks for all the help. I wish I can pay you back,” Jessica said.

“No problem, Ma’am,” the supplies officer said politely. “And there’s no need to pay back all the time. You’ve had enough trouble today. Here, try testing the machine with this.” He handed Jessica a piece of letter-sized paper from his pocket and walked back to his cubicle, much to Jessica’s confusion.

Nonetheless, Jessica quickly pressed down on the paper and the machine, True enough, it was working well, because Jessica could see two sheets of paper coming out from the chute, which printed:

“Will you go out on a date with me?”

“What the--?” Jessica whispered steadfastly when she silently read the print on the paper. She turned around to reprimand the supplies officer, but found someone else standing in front of her, instead. 

“What are you doing here, again?” Jessica asked. Her glaring eyes softened up, but she found her heart beating faster than the usual.

“It took me time to figure out how to make a glitch on that copying machine,” Donghae answered with a knowing grin. “Thank God it worked.”

“So, you and the supplies officer were up to this,” Jessica chuckled. “What do you want?”

Donghae walked closer to her and smiled through his words. “First of all, I’m sorry for all the trouble. I’m sorry for stealing that wallet, for barging into your office, for dragging you into the boutique to buy a purse for my pseudo-relative, and for sounding a bit awkward yesterday. But really, I meant it.”

Jessica barely noticed her officemates jeering at her and Donghae; she could only listen to his words.

“And second,” he continued, showing her a single-stem rose this time, “I’m asking you out not because you’re a good person who always goes out of her way for her friends. I’m asking you out because I want to be that guy who would go out of his way for you. I like you, Jessica. I’m in love with you.”

There was a loud applause, and Jessica should’ve smiled as in the romantic movies. Instead, she stared back at Donghae, her brows meeting halfway. Then, her eyes finally welled up, and she turned away from him to wipe the tears in her eyes. Donghae could hear her whimper.

“Why are you crying? Did I say anything mean?” Donghae asked, patting her on the shoulder.

“No, no,” Jessica replied, sobbing, “Of course you’re a nice guy, it’s just that—“

Donghae smiled when Jessica looked at him with tears of joy.

“It’s the first time someone actually gave me flowers.”

---


Yoona’s eyes wandered as she watched the blurring view from the taxi; she reassured herself for the nth time that she has this firm resolve of composing herself. All she had to do the next day would be to write her letter of resignation, pack up her things , say good bye to everyone in the hotel for the wonderful time, and give Siwon that slap on the face.

Yoona didn’t even know why she had t lash back at Sooyoung in that ‘lunch date’. She thought it was overly dumb, not to mention immature. She had made herself a clown for the evil sister’s entertainment. What’s worse is that Siwon didn’t even do anything about it.

Yoona bit her lower lip as she suppressed her tears.

The taxi finally pulled over beside a curb in front of Yoona’s apartment after a few minutes—Yoona couldn’t keep track of the time anymore—and the young lady pushed her way out of the car. She was about to step into the front door when someone she thought was a snatcher forcefully grabbed her hand.

Yoona looked at Siwon and wished it was the snatcher instead. She struggled to break free from Siwon’s grip but the tall, sturdy-built gentleman didn’t let go. Yoona didn’t think that Siwon followed the cab all the way to her apartment, and she cursed herself for it.

“Wait, Yoona, let’s talk,” Siwon pleaded, his hands still clutched on Yoona’s wrist.

“There’s nothing more to talk about, Siwon,” Yoona snapped at him. “I’ve made a complete fool of myself, and now you ask me to just talk about how our frigging ‘date’ ended?”

“As much as I would like to talk about it, I can’t.”

“Then what do you want, again?”

“I want you to forgive me,” Siwon answered in a slow pace. Yoona finally faced him just so Siwon could let her hand go. 

“You should be sorry,” she blurted out. 

“I’m sorry, okay. Now will you please let me explain things?” Siwon pleaded yet again; Yoona thought he was more like luring her into more trouble.

“No. I’m thinking of resignation,” Yoona replied, her eyes glaring at Siwon, “And if there’s anything you want me to do today, I’m calling all of it off.”

“Do you honestly think it will make you feel better?” Siwon asked. Yoona didn’t know what to do. Her fingers trembled as she paced back and forth across the front steps of the apartment, her heels clicking unsteadily.

“Well, honestly it’s better than having to put up with your tricks, Siwon.”

Siwon found her gesture annoying, and he finally caught her shoulders with his hands. “Will you please just stop and listen to me?” he said in a louder voice.

“Just mind your own business! Please!”

“I’m not letting you leave, Yoona.”

“Why? So you can tell everyone in the hotel how actually screwed up I am in person?” Yoona shouted. “You can do the hell you want, Siwon. What’s important is the relationship we’re both ruining all this time. This time I have to save it.”

“Don’t be stupid Yoona. It’s not worth saving anymore,” Siwon said. Yoona could feel his hand crushing her shoulders, so she backed away from him. hung open as she stared blankly at Siwon.

“What did you say? Do you actually have the right to tell me if it’s worth saving or not?”

“Actually, my sis can give a harsher version of it,” Siwon remarked, “But yeah, I do have a right.”

“Can you tell me why?”

“Because everybody can see that.”

“Have you even seen me hang out with him? You’re so impossible!” Yoona screamed. She stormed out of the front steps and walked briskly through the sidewalk, trying to ignore Siwon. At that moment she didn’t care where she was headed to. She just wanted a way out. 

“What is?” Siwon asked, breathing hard as he tried to catch up with Yoona along the sidewalk. “You didn’t think you would actually come up to my sis yesterday and tell me that giving in to my requests despite being in a relationship would make complete sense, right? But you did. You chose to do it. Why?”

Yoona suddenly came to a stop, and Siwon made a few steps backward to avoid bumping onto her. 

“I-I don’t—know,” Yoona mumbled. She breathed in the downtown smog and faced Siwon.

“Well, you know what, actually I do, and I’m ‘fessing up.” Siwon could hear Yoona’s voice tremble. “I did like you, Siwon, and for that I made some stupid mistake. But I’m in love with someone else and for me, it’s something more than just looking at me in the eye, or smiling at me knowingly, or teaching me management one oh one, or setting me up on a date just to look like a fool. I’m sorry.” Yoona let out another breath, and she sobbed out tears, her knees growing weak in the process.

Siwon bowed his head down slowly. “If you like me, then don’t be afraid to do it.” he spoke in a serious tone, one that Yoona had never heard of before. “You can call me an , or a jerk, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting you so much. I’ve fallen in love with you, and I’m willing to give you anything. I can take away the hurt if you want me to. Just tell me what to do.”

“I love him, Siwon,” Yoona breathed out her reply. “If you did love me at all, you’d just let me be.”

“Tell me you’ll be happy with him. Tell me he loves you so much.”

Yoona looked at him; tears were still on her face as she sniffed and whimpered, and she could feel herself melting at Siwon’s knowing stare again. This time was different though; it wasn’t the wanting, demanding, stern eyes that saw her through.

“When I first saw you, I didn’t think somebody loved you more than I could,” Siwon said almost in a whisper. It was at that moment when Yoona realized that Siwon’s eyes were a pair of the loneliest eyes she ever saw. If only she could see him through… then again, everything between them was so wrong.

“Please.”

Siwon stood silently, looking down on the concrete pavement. It took minutes before he could finally look up and speak.

“Very well.”

He turned around quickly, trying hard not to mind the girl watching him walk away. Yoona squeezed out more tears from her eyes; she was supposed to be free from Siwon’s tricks, and she was supposed to run back to Jong Woon and tell him she loves him more than anyone else in the world.

The problem is, she still stood there, somewhere in the downtown sidewalk, sad and still confused. She walked back to the apartment and hoped that, from that moment on, she could finally choose Jong Woon over Siwon.


---

(Two years ago.)

Jong Woon didn’t know how long his hand shook before he was able to hold on to the door knob in front of the office. He counted one, two, three… and lost count of the numbers since then, until he turned the knob and pushed his way through the cubicles.

He pretty much knew the way to Yuri’s cubicle: he counted fifty steps forward, three steps to the right. It seemed he couldn’t remember at that moment, though—he was so lost in his thoughts: the promotion that he got for working like a dog for the past few months, and the girl whom he had secretly worked his for.

He met Yuri at a job interview a year ago, and he instantly fell in love with Yuri’s executive looks and appeal. The problem was, ten more guys also checked her out. It was when Yuri started off some sort of conversation on their first day of work that they went on to become the best of friends. Yuri was, of course, happy to have Jong Woon as a friend. Jong Woon, on the other hand, was also happy, but he thought Yuri was also messing with his head.

He knocked on Yuri’s cubicle wall, thinking that it was time to end a year of pure torture. Yuri’s chair swiveled to face him, revealing Yuri; she couldn’t have noticed the flowers that Jong Woon held behind him.

“Hello, Jong Woon,” Yuri greeted him with a warm smile. “I heard you got the promotion yesterday. I’m so happy for you.”

“It’s nothing, really, just a few credits for my working experience,” Jong Woon said with twitching lips and uneasy thoughts. He badly wished he was able to take a break before a confession, but he felt there was no other time. “I really wished you were there to celebrate my promotion, though,” he added.

“Got caught up with my own work. So sorry,” Yuri replied with a cute pout.

“You mean, with Young Bae?”

Jong Woon didn’t know why he wanted pain. But he had to be sure no one got in his way.

“Yes, it’s just a few glitches in the report, but we did fine, you know,” Yuri said gleefully. “He’s good at pointing mistakes on paper. I feel like I love what I’m doing.”

“Really?” Jong Woon asked. He walked closer towards Yuri’s table and sat on the chair in front of it. “I bet he doesn’t know how to get his off his current position like I do.”
Yuri laughed. “Why are you so mean? It’s not like he’s burn-out or something,” Yuri remarked. “In fact, he’s a fine man, that Young Bae. He actually got me tips on how to write a technical paper, which is what I like better than being in this whole events thing.”

“Whatever,” Jong Woon said dryly. He barely felt his fingers closing in on the bouquet of flowers in his hand. 

“Jong Woon! What’s wrong with you?” Yuri said with a frown, “It’s like you’re telling me that I shouldn’t be writing.”

“I’m just saying, you should be careful with Young Bae.” 

Yuri folded her arms, unconvinced by Jong Woon’s words.

“He just came into the office and he’s already the talk of the town,” Jong Woon added. “It’s strange that he’s like every bad guy in some TV series who acts coyly at first to get attention.”

“Come on, he’s a bit short, and well, a bit talkative, but he’s actually smart and caring,” Yuri said. “He’s a good friend.”

“What about me?”

“What?” Yuri asked, her eyes quizzically poring over him.

“Well, never mind that,” Jong Woon quipped, “Man, this is the only time we could actually talk.”

“Actually, yeah, I missed us so much, but I wondered what happened to you,” Yuri spoke as she looked at Jong Woon from head to toe. “You’ve been working your off harder than before. It’s been months.”

“I know.”

“I know.”

Yuri laughed at the way they said it together, but she stopped when she found Jong Woon staring at her intently. She uneasily shifted her weight on the chair and looked away. It was a good thing—a bad thing for Jong Woon—when a face suddenly popped out of the cubicle wall.

“Hey, Yul, sorry to disturb you, but we’ve got coffee downstairs,” Young Bae announced. Yuri nodded giddily, while Jong Woon shook his head a ‘no’.

“It’s okay, we’ll catch up.”

“No, we’re actually busy.”

“Sungie?” Yuri threw Jong Woon another vexed look. Meanwhile, Jong Woon thought Young Bae was a waste of time; he had to confess to her before it was too late. Besides, roses couldn’t last long in a bouquet—they dried up a bit easily. 

“Can I just talk to you? Now? It’s really, really, important,” said Jong Woon desperately. Yuri nodded her head and looked worriedly at him.

“Okay?” she said, before refusing Young Bae’s offer. Soon, the guy was out of the office, thank goodness for Jong Woon.

“Hello? Young Bae was offering us coffee,” Yuri snapped her fingers in front of Jong Woon, hoping she’d wake him up from some sort of nightmare. “What’s up with that mood?”

“Stressed out, maybe.”

“So, what do you want to talk about, besides him?”

“I—“ Jong Woon loosened his grip on the flowers behind him. He stuttered towards what he hoped were the right words. “I don’t—well, here it goes.”

“Yuri, I—“ Jong Woon began, drawing his hands slightly away towards the front so Yuri could see the flowers. 

“I think I like you.”

Yuri’s eyes suddenly grew wider, and Jong Woon could hear a faint gasp somewhere in the awkward silence that followed. He wondered if he had gone too soon with his words. He watched as Yuri flinched from her seat, stood up, shook her hands vigorously, and went back to her seat.

“M-me, too, I mean, I super like you, but—“ 

“I was hoping we could take the next step?” he interrupted.

“Jong Woon, I-I don’t know what to say. I mean,” Yuri’s words came out fast, “I like you. I really do.” She patted Jong Woon on the shoulder and looked at him with utmost concern. Jong Woon could see things coming, and he wished he didn’t say what he wanted to say.

“It’s just that I’m not ready for a relationship. We may take some time.”

Jong Woon had to coax her a bit more. There was no room for second chances and regrets—only rare and possibly wasted opportunities. “Come on, we can try,” Jong Woon got hold of Yuri’s hand, putting it on his chest. Yuri looked slightly away from him and pulled her hand away.

“I don’t know, Jong Woon,” Yuri said. “I mean, there’s work, and, honestly, I don’t see you as someone I can be in love with right now.”

“What do you mean?”

“I like you, but I’m not ready to fall in love.”

“Psh,” Jong Woon chuckled as he put the flowers on Yuri’s table. “We’re twenty somethings for goodness’ sake!”

Yuri shook her head and looked at the random notes on her desk. “I know, but I think I’m not—“

“Yuri, please,” Jong Woon interrupted again. Yuri held on to the creases in her pants just to keep her from getting annoyed. He was a friend, a best friend, after all, and she should keep her cool with him.

“You sound like you’re not my best friend,” Yuri said, “We just need time, that’s all.”

“I’m trying not to sound like one, because what I feel for you is more than what a best friend feels!”

“We haven’t been talking for months already and then you come up to me and tell me that we should probably date? That’s exactly good timing, Sungie,” Yuri snapped, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“Well, I promise you we’d never come that way again.”

“I need time.”

Jong Woon frowned at her. “You mean, no, right?” he asked.

“No, I mean, I needed time,” Yuri replied.

“Still, that’s a ‘no’.”

Yuri leaned over her table and pushed the flowers towards Jong Woon. “You probably just needed to think things over, Jong Woon. Wind down,” she advised. 

“Okay!” Jong Woon shouted, and his voice seemed to have turned up a few heads out of the cubicles. “You can go hang out with Young Bae while I get myself a glass of water and feel pleased with myself.”

Yuri pounded her palm on the table. “That’s not what I meant! Besides, Young Bae is a just a friend!” she said firmly. “Are you out of mind?”

“No.”

“Then you really must be,” Yuri bit back sharply.

“Fine,” Jong Woon bluntly spoke. He picked up the flowers from Yuri’s table, knowing that she was meaning to return them to him. He headed for the door, leaving Yuri to sink back on her seat. She rubbed her temples, not really because Jong Woon’s presence started irritating her.

Yuri should have said something more substantial, or at least something to make Jong Woon understand her, because she’d never get the chance again. 

Somewhere out of the company building, Jong Woon pedaled his bike frustratingly for the last time, hoping a glass or two of alcohol would be enough to make him feel better. 

---


“What do you mean, Yul?” Jong Woon asked, holding the frail Yuri by the shoulders. Yuri didn’t have enough strength left to resist him anymore. She merely looked down and tried to hide the tears.

“Oh, come on, Jong Woon,” Yuri sobbed through her words. “You know what I’m talking about. Don’t pretend like you don’t know anything.”

“Can we talk about that, then?”

“No, I’m afraid I can’t anymore,” Yuri replied. She looked away from Jong Woon again, but Jong Woon shook her a bit to get her attention.

“What do you want, Yuri?” Jong Woon asked, his voice husky and low, “Because you’re very important to me and I can’t set things straight with you unless you tell me what you want.”

“I am?”

“Yes! Can’t you see that, Yul?” Jong Woon remarked.

“Because—“ Yuri stuttered, “You’re very important to me, but I-I don’t know how I should put this, I know I may sound stupid—

“I want you,” she finally blurted out.

Jong Woon’s grip on Yuri’s shoulders loosened up as he stared blankly at Yuri. 

“I’m a very bad person, Jong Woon,” she added. “I’m like, the devil for wanting you so much.”

Jong Woon fell silent, stepping back from Yuri as she continued struggling with words.

“I hoped, very much hoped that we’d fix things up again,” she said, “And I’m glad. I’m happy you had a better life I wished you shared with me, and a girl I eventually wished was me. I wish I could tell you right now how happy I am, but I can’t.”

Jong Woon looked up at her, suddenly, and Yuri drew the strength left of her to move on with her words.

“I gave myself the time you didn’t give me, took all the crap there was in me when you disappeared, and all the time I hoped you listened to me two years ago,” she remarked, her voice cracking in the process. “I hoped there’s us. Will there ever be us, Jong Woon?”

Silence ensued as Jong Woon stepped forward and wiped the tears from Yuri’s eyes. Yuri could feel the warmth of Jong Woon’s touch, but she could also feel the trembling of his fingers.

“I love someone else, Yuri,” he replied. “And she loved me at a point when I wasn’t myself. She loves me like no one else could. She gave me the love you didn’t otherwise give me.”

Yuri cried even more, and Jong Woon had to hug her once again to keep her from falling on her knees. They stayed like that for a while, until Yuri could only sniff back the tears.

“I know,” she whispered. “This is why I can’t start over with you.”

In a flash, Yuri pushed Jong Woon back and away from her, and she quickly headed for the gate of her house. Jong Woon managed to take hold of her hand, but Yuri became strong enough to pull it away from him.

Jong Woon didn’t even hear the gate close. He didn’t see the cars and people passing by him as the homeward traffic rush started late that afternoon. All he could feel were the fingers that slipped from his hand, and it was at that moment when he realized how much he had lost.

---


It was hours since Yoona stood frozen in her spot at the sidewalk late in the afternoon. She sat back in her couch, and looked back at the large mirror just nearby to check for the remnants of tears she shed that afternoon in front of Siwon.

There were so many things that Yoona had finally wanted to tell Jong Woon. She wanted to be honest, this time, and she wanted no secrets between them. Relationships aren’t supposed to be hide-and-seek games, right? She wanted to set her turn her heart into a blank slate for her to start anew with Jong Woon, or maybe with someone else…

Now, if only Jong Woon could perhaps answer her calls and messages, she would have still more momentum to discuss things with him.

She glanced at the picture frame on the shelf, right at the happy faces, and closed her eyes, trying hard to imagine what life would be like without Jong Woon. She pryed them open right away, though, because somewhere in the inner recesses of her mind, she’d find someone else--

At two in the morning, Yoona woke up in the couch to the sound of door creaking. She quickly got up and the lights.

“Hello,” Jong Woon said, his voice a bit dry and raspy. 

“Where at two in the morning have you been?” Yoona asked.

“Out.”

“Oh,” Yoona grunted. “Was it overtime? I was trying to call you a hundred times. Why didn’t you even bother opening your phone and ask yourself if Yoona is worried about you?”

Jong Woon lazily picked up the phone from his pocket and threw it onto the floor, startling Yoona. “Yoona, my phone wasn’t cooperating either. I’m sorry, Yoong,” he mumbled, loosening his tie and kicking his shoes. Yoona stared at him quizzically.

“Did you drink?” she asked. “Or did that smell of vodka come from someone else?” It was the first time when Jong Woon walked into Yoona’s apartment, drunk, and it somehow worried her.

Jong Woon ignored Yoona’s question and glanced at the dining table. Yoona noticed his gesture and gave a sigh.

“Okay. You know what, let’s just deal with this tomorrow,” Yoona said. “Your food is at the table.”

“I want to go to sleep, Yoong.”

Jong Woon was about to head for the couch, when he stumbled in front of Yoona and accidentally hooked his arms around Yoona’s shoulder. Yoona heaved as she dragged Jong Woon to her dimmed bedroom.

“Fine, let’s just sleep, if that’s what you want,” Yoona remarked. Jong Woon landed on one side of her bed, and he curled up into a ball as Yoona lay down on the other side of the bed. She s her arms on Jong Woon’s shoulders and watched the curtains flutter from the windows. Soon, Jong Woon’s breaths evened out, and Yoona was starting to fall asleep, too. 

She hoped to dream of tomorrow, when everything between her and Jong Woon would be better; Jong Woon would be cooking her breakfast, she would be packing up his lunch, and she would stay at home looking for work in the classifieds section. She would wait until five in the afternoon, and tell Jong Woon she missed him after only a day of work. 

Soon, she would forget about Siwon, his smile, his eyes, his tricks—because even if they were all true, they were rather destructive. 

Yoona’s fingers started slipping from Jong Woon’s shoulders, and she was about to whisper “Good night” to him when she heard a familiar name from his lips.

“Yuri,” Jong Woon mumbled, shattering Yoona’s promises of a sweet dream, and good night.

---