I'm Tired
Destined for Each Other
I heard Chae saying incoherent words but I didn’t mind it for I was focusing on what will I say to Jae.
We’re here at the rooftop, me and Jae. I chose this place because right here I know I can talk to him not worrying about the people around us. I can feel my heart pounding, not because the one I love is right here with me but because of the pain that he inflicted to me.
“Dee about yesterday, I’m sorry”
“Jae, do you know how many sorry do you said for this month?” I calmly said to him. I think I made him confused because he creased his forehead. So before he becomes more confuse I finally talk.
“Jae, how many times do you plan to hurt me? Are you not contented how much I love you that you hurt me like this? Or because you know that I love you more than you love me so you take me for granted?” I look at his eyes while saying those words. I’m not planning to cry for the same reason. I’m just tired.
When he didn’t respond to me, I talk to break the silence.
“Jae, let’s break up” he look at me, wide-eyed. I think he didn’t expect my decision because I can see it in his eyes. He did many things that hurt me, and then he expects me to accept his mistakes? First and second mistake is okay but third mistake is enough.
“Can you forgive me?”
“Sometimes Jae the one that hard to forgive is the one you love because you didn’t expect him to break your trust”
“Dee, please don’t leave me” he wants to hold my hand but I didn’t let him. I am full of this sh*t, I always understand him.
“It is okay if we break up because we will only hurt each other if we stay together. Just take care of Yoona and your baby” by that time I turned my back to him and walk away from him.
When I arrived at the cafeteria, all the students became silent. I just smiled to them, I must show that this issue is not affecting me. I sit beside Bommie, even Bommie and the girls are not talking. Aish! What’s with them!? As if they are the one who broke up with their bf. Is it really true that being broken hearted is a contagious disease?
“Can I have this?! I’m so hungry!” I grab Bommie’s hand that is holding the food and put the food in my mouth. Kekeke! I think I surprise her in my gesture but afterwards she’s feeding me. I really love Bommie! And I am really thankful she’s my friend, she’s always there when I need someone.
“Dara, where did you slept last night?” I was shock on what Chae ask me. I don’t know what will I answer to her. Aish!
“Ah, one of my friend’s house. Kekeke!” I awkwardly laugh at my answer. I hope she didn’t notice my uneasiness!
“By any chance, do you saw GD last night?” omo! Did she know what happen last night? I don’t know but I think she have an idea. I hope I am wrong with my assumption.
“Ha? Are you not with Ji..GD?” ooops! My mouth might slip something I have to stop talking!
“No, we search for you last night, so we separate with bigbang” Bommie answered me but I felt the intense stare that Chae's giving me.
I ate my lunch with total awkwardness because the whole time Chae is staring at me. I don’t want to look at her because I am not comfortable. Did she notice something about GD and me? I hope not.
After the class, Bommie texted me, she said that we’ll meet at the school gate. So I am currently on my way to the school gate when Chae talk.
“Dara you know how much I love GD right? And I can’t bear if he will leave me”
“Why are you saying this to me? Of course I know that you love him” I can’t look at her but I try to put a happy tone. I’m looking at our surroundings but her.
“Ahm, okay. See you tomorrow. I’ll go ahead first because My BOYFRIEND and I will meet today” I don’t know if I am being paranoid but I think she emphasized the word boyfriend. Aish! Maybe I am really paranoid.
“Okay! Take care also!”
I saw already Bommie when I arrived at the gate. When she saw me, she pulled me outside the school and we go to the nearest coffee shop.
“Spill!” Bommie suddenly commands me. So I tell her the story of GD's and mine from the start. Since our first kiss to the last night’s event.
“So you know him long time ago? And he’s the person you are talking about? Your first kiss and your crush is GD?!” Aigoo! Why she must say it out loud?! Aish! She didn’t change at all!
“Yah! Why you are shouting? Please keep it down. And yeah you’re right, he’s the one I am talking about” I whispered to her so no one will hear me.
“So how about Jae?”
“Jae and I talked a while ago and we end up our relationship. Oh! More on I ended it. I love him but I can’t let him be with me because i know he’s happy with Yoona. I must let him go” I said while feeling depressed.
“But he still loves you, I can see it in his eyes. Although we saw them yesterday being happy with Yoona, I know that you are the one he loves”
“We’re not meant for each other Bommie”
“How about GD? What will you do about your feelings?”
“The truth is, I really don’t know. I am happy if we’re together, he’s my pain absorber. I get my strength to him whenever I am sad or I am in pain. I am comfortable with him. I can show him who really am I than Jae”
“Do you love him?” I heave a deep sigh. Do I love him?
“Bommie I know you’ll think that I am a bad person if I’ll say I love Ji when in fact Jae and I just broke up a while ago. But I really don’t know if my feelings to him is just a friend or if I already love him. And I don’t think I have the rights to fall for him because of…..Chae”
“But if you will choose between Jae and GD, who will you choose?”
I didn’t utter a words, I can’t choose between them.
“I hope you make a good choice, but Dara I’m just right here don’t you ever forget that!” after she said those words, I hugged her. I really love this girl, she’s like my sister.
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Aigoo! i am very busy! i didn't got the chance to write the next chapter.. :))
just wait for my update.. maybe later i'll update again.. kekeke!
PATIENCE is a virtue.. kyaaah!
dont hate me guys! :))
Lots of love from me! ♥
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