BoA’s POV

I started walking through the Seoul streets remembering the old times. It has been five years since I left the country, but I still feel some of the pain I felt back then when we broke up.

Now I am walking to the address I had written in the pink paper that I had in my pocket for the last week, because I couldn’t muster the courage to come before.

Bright lights and loud music emanated from the building, and I just stood near the front door waiting for you to appear in this windy afternoon.

And only after the music stop and many youngster started to leave the building, I saw you.

You haven’t changed that much, but you seemed more matured now with the responsibility of what being the owner of a dance studio meant.

And I am happy that you have achieved your dream and by dream I also mean a family.

A family with the beautiful woman that now is standing by your side holding your hand.

You smiled without noticing that I am just a few steps from you, but I couldn’t help but let a little laugh escape my lips when I saw your shocked face.

Had I changed that little or that much for you to react like that?

Your wife looked at me curiously and then at you, but you didn’t say a word and I wondered when you had turned so shy that could only look to the floor.

But at the same time I started regretting coming to see you out of the blue, but since I was already in front of your, in front of her, I started talking.

“Hi Yunho, long time not seeing…” I said with a small bow and gulping. I was really nervous all of a sudden.

You cleared your throat as your wife asked who I was and while I answered that I was ‘an old friend’ you looked at me with a confused and restless expression.

But it was also in that moment that I realized in what I had failed. I discovered what she had given you what I couldn’t.

Because as soon as you looked at me, I looked at her and in her eyes I saw that she knew the truth. She knew I was your ex, but she still smiled to me.

And what surprised me the most was that she even invited me to your birthday party.

Yes, today is your birthday and even when I hadn’t planned to greet you for it I wanted to see you.

“You should come to Yunho’s party, even for a bit.” She said smiling again when I tried to reject her offer seeing the desperate ‘no’ in your face.

I don’t know what you are so afraid of. Or maybe it’s because you think it’s going to be awkward since we had common friends and they will be at your party.

“I have to return to New York tonight, but I’ll try.” I said to your wife since she seemed sincere.

I knew I was the opposite of her and that only made this meeting more bittersweet, because she is a great girl for you, but she is not me.

And after she told me your new address we parted ways.

She was still holding your hand as both of you walked away and I had to sigh because believe or not I’m still more nervous and anxious than you are.

So as I returned to the hotel to pack my bags I tried to decide if I should go or not to the party.

Time has passed so fast since we were kids in this same city, going to the same school and becoming a couple. Everything had happened so fast that our breakup was like an awakening for me.

As if we had spent all of our lives together and it was the moment for us to be independent.

But maybe that was just the excuse I tried to believe when I left the country.

Because what I wanted was to be away from you, away from this pain, even when I knew I would carrying it with me to everyplace, just like the memories or the regrets for the mistakes.

But now here again I couldn’t do anything else than wish you well, hoping that some day I meet someone like you. Someone who could turn my life upside down like you did with a single word.

And I had finally decided to go to your party, just to say “Happy birthday Yunho, live happily”… Because that’s all I had to say even if it sounds bitter and just after that I’ll go to the airport.

So I grabbed my bags and took a cab only to realize that I didn’t have a gift for you.

But I remembered the last gift you gave me.

It was the ring your grandma had given you when you won your first dance competition.

And I should have return it to you, but the selfish me left the country with it believing you would follow me because of that, but you didn’t and now that I think about it that wasn’t enough reason to do it, but I was still hoping at that time.

But never mind now, because as I enter your house with your wife guiding the way as I try to avoid looking at the other guests I hold the ring in my right hand wanting to return it to you so I can finally let go of you and search for a new love.

Because I think you wish the same for me, right Yunho?

And I know you do because of that smile on your face when I congratulate you and give you the ring.

“Thanks BoA” You said still amused by the ring that I bet you never forgot.

But it’s the moment to leave, to disappear from your life once again, but this time with no regrets since against everything I thought you hugged me.

And after that, you wished me well and that is something I knew you would do, I just knew it.

Because you had been always like that. So kind and caring. So protective and thankful.

Because even when we broke up, even when I left, you still looked at me like a pleasant memory.

Like something good in your life. And that’s all I could ask for since I had been silently begging for you to not forget about me.

So now, as I sat on the plane seat I just close my eyes and remember what you once said.

“Sometimes it last in love, but sometimes it hurts instead.”

Because hopefully your married love will last even when the love I had for your hurt me instead.