Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love,
the things you are, the things you never want to lose.

Kevin Arnold

I felt confined.

Trapped and lost.

I woke early the next morning, crusty eyes preventing me from opening my eyes. I wiped away the dry tears shed last night and looked to my left. Kris had been laying there with his eyes open for who knows how long.

If you had been in my position you would have probably freaked the out and wondered if the light of your life had been put out.

But he was just laying there. He blinked after a while.

He looked over at me and smiled.

“Good morning” he greeted hoarsely, then cleared his throat and waved. I returned the wave and got out of my bed. I don’t actually recall what happened last night or yesterday for that matter.

It’s all a blur.

But something incredibly nerve wracking must have happened if I had cried myself to sleep the other night.

“Nayoung?” I turn my head and my heart jumps.

“Yes Kris?”

“Can you come over here?” he urges me by waving his hand with great vigor. I nod in response and swing my legs out of bed. As soon as I get over, Kris holds my hand and pulls me down.

“Woah!” I quietly scream, if that makes sense, and start laughing. “What’s with you today?”

“I just wanted to touch your hand… and bring you in close to smell you” he smiles.

“What the… Kris, you’re such a weirdo” I laugh and he kisses my cheek over and over again.

“You smell pretty nice” he compliments and proceeds to scoot over for me to sit next to him. We sit in bed together.

We hold hands and talk endlessly about, well, just about everything. I look down at our hands and realize that mine are bare.

He’s wrapped up in wires that are monitoring his health and I try to ignore it. But it’s hard when my thumb accidentally brushes past them every now and then.

The doctor comes in and greets us warmly.

“Well don’t you two look warm for the upcoming season?” she smiles and walks over to Kris. I get out of the bed and he tries to pull me back but I assure him I’ll come after his check up is done.

After she’s done inspecting him, she says he’s doing fine and should be out of the hospital once his parents come to pick the two of us up.

“Hopefully you won’t have to come back anytime soon” she adds as she starts to exit the room. “Oh and by the way” she comments as she starts to leave the room, “if you weren’t taken by such a beautiful girl, my daughter would have swept you right off your feet” she winks at the two of us and closes the door quietly.

“Well don’t you feel special?” I tease and Kris’ face immediately brightens up.

“Oh shush” he whispers and reaches out for me. He misses only by a little because I’m out of his reach.

Only just a little.

“Kris?”

“Kris!”

“Oh my god, please tell me you’re okay, please tell me you’re breathing!”

“KRIS!”

“I—I love you so much.”

“Don’t leave me now, I’m not ready…”

“Please…”

“Welcome home, Kris!” was all I heard before being showered with confetti and hugs by his group of friends, family, extended family, and etc. There was a big party being thrown for Kris at my house because it was fairly larger than the Wu residence.

I looked up at his face, bright and excited. This was the happiest I’ve seen him before he first told me about his Alzheimer’s.

“Wow” he said quietly, then looked around and then looked at me. He clutched my hand tightly.