Joonmyeon stopped appearing after that.

It was like he dropped off the face of the planet. Luhan didn't know what happened. Tao didn't know what happened. Minseok didn't know what happened. Even Sehun didn't know what happened. But they all agreed it must be my fault. The only one who didn't agree with them was Yixing. A fact for which I would be eternally grateful.

"You really are scaring me, Kris. I think you need to let him go. He's been gone for a week now." Yixing finally confronted me.

"Do you think this is my fault, Yixing?" I asked finally. "If I hadn't run away - "

He smacked the back of my head lightly. "Don't you dare start blaming yourself. You are not Joonmyeon. And yes, you were an , but that doesn't give him the right to drop off the edge of the Earth."

"I was an idiot."

"I'm not debating that."

I glared at him. "Where's the best friend pep talk? Aren't you supposed to be drowning me with food assuring me that I'm better than Joonmyeon and he's an idiot?"

Yixing blinked lazily. "Sorry, what?"

Space-case. I thought none-too-kindly.

"Did you ever talk to that D.O. person?" Yixing wondered. "He might know where Joonmy - "

"You're a lifesaver, Zhang Yixing!" I announced pulling out my cellphone. Of course D.O. - or Kyungsoo would know where Joonmyeon was. They were best friends after all.

I ran through my contacts, gratified to see that I hadn't deleted the number that Minseok had given me. (Or depending on who you listened that I had blackmailed out of him). The phone rang several times, making me uneasy, but finally someone picked up. "Mhhh 'lo," They mumbled sleepily.

"Is this Do Kyungsoo?"

"Yeah. Who's this?"

"...I'm Wu Fan..."

"Anything I can help you with, Wu Fan?" D.O. asked, though it might've sounded abrupt for anyone else it sounded as though the boy on the phone couldn't be happier to help me out.

"Actually. I was just wondering if you knew what happened to Kim Joonmyeon? We were supposed to be working together on a project - "

Yixing glared at me, not approving of my white lie.

"I'm sorry." The happiness had faded from Kyungsoo's voice. "I really don't know how to help you with that. He - um - about a week ago he left some money on the counter for our rent and took off. I really, I don't know what happened...sorry."

I felt a stab of guilt, listening to him talk. "No it's fine. I heard he left...I just needed to know so I could get another partner."

"Okay." He agreed quietly.

"Hey." For some reason I felt the need to stop him from hanging up. "Did Joonmyeon leave anything there?"

"Not in the way of project materials. He did leave something for you, though."

My heart stuttered to a stop. "Oh. Well, if you want I can come and get that."

"That'd be good. I have to work the graveyard tonight so I have to get some more sleep. But if you want, you can come over about five or so, I don't start work til about midnight."

"Yeah." I agreed numbly listening as he rattled off instructions to the house where he lived. "I'll be there. Uh. Seeya."

"Project?" Yixing asked. "Really?"

"What? I couldn't - I didn't want - "

Yixing sighed. "Whatever. I have class."

---

D.O.'s house was about thirty minutes away from campus. Which I guess must've been the reason he and Joonmyeon had been renting it. It was much nicer than the dorms on campus. A little small for two people but I suppose the lure of having a private bathroom rather than one to share with the whole floor made it better.

I knocked on the door, I was a bit early and D.O. told me he didn't go to work until about midnight or so.

The door was swung open moments later by a small boy with messy dark hair and toothbrush hanging out the side of his mouth. He had wide, round eyes and a cute button nose. "Wmhoo Fharn?" He asked voice muffled by the toothbrush. He seemed to only then realize he still had the toothbrush in his mouth and his eyes widened impossibly before he whipped it out. "I-I mean, Wu Fan, right?"

"Yeah." I agreed. "I'm about ten minutes early, sorry."

"No that's fine!" Kyungsoo waved me into his house. "I just woke up, sorry about that. But I'll be back in a minute. There's soda and stuff in the fridge if you're thirsty? I was about to make myself some breakfast. But you probably want supper right?"

"I already ate."

"Are you sure? I have plenty of food."

"Finish getting ready." I told him trying to fight back a smile.

He nodded and disappeared presumably to finish brushing his teeth and tame his mass of dark hair.I wandered around his living room, careful not to disturb anything. Every so often I'd come across a hint that Joonmyeon had been there, but otherwise it looked just like your average college-aged bachelor living on his own. Well, cleaner than that actually.

"You can have a seat where ever, Wu Fan." Kyungsoo said when he entered again.

"Kris is fine." I said automatically.

He smiled. "Then I'm just D.O." He said. "So you're sure about not wanting food?"

"Yes, D.O., I'm sure."

"You don't know what you're missing, Kris hyung. I make good food."

He puttered around the kitchen getting himself breakfast, I listened to the sound of him banging around reminded subconsciously of the way that mother would do that in the morning. "So - um. There's a note for you. I haven't read it, but it's in his old room." D.O. said watching his food cook. "Can you tell me why he left though...if-if it says?" He asked haltingly.

"Yeah." Kyungsoo was watching the omlette sizzle in the pan with the kind of intensity that said he was holding something in. "Kyungsoo-ah...are you okay?" I asked worried about the way he seemed totally zoned out. He jumped violently his hand slamming into the hot pan causing a yelp of pain to pass his lips. Quickly I guided him away from the stove and turned the burner off.

He cradled his hand not seeming to notice the bright red blister beginning to form on his palm. "I loved him, you know." He said faintly, tears starting to gether in his eyes. "I don't think he ever n-noticed me though. God, it sounds so cliche now. He talked about you. A lot, actually, I got jealous that week after he met you. I always thought, th-that when I met you I would hate you. B-But I can't - "

"I don't know why he left."

A few tears fell when he blinked. "Why would he do that? Wasn't I worth at least a note?"

I really didn't know how to answer that. 'Yes, absolutely. I don't really know you but I would've left a note.'? That seemed just a little strange coming from someone he'd only just met. So silence tightened its grip around us slowly creeping almost like a fog until it had settled into every corner of the room. "You really ought to run that under some water." I said, finally.

"Probably." Kyungsoo agreed, but didn't make a move to do so. So I helped him up and lead him to the sink to run water over the rapidly forming blister. "There's a first aid kit in the bathroom with burn salve." He said, flexing his hand and wincing in pain. "Down the hall to your left."

I left him in the kitchen to go and get the first aid kit. I couldn't imagine how Kyungsoo felt when he realized the only note that Joonmyeon had left was for me. Me, I just felt guilty over this whole mess. There were a number of ways this could've ended, and all of them were a bit happier than me ending up at this house with Joonmyeon's lovesick roommate. Why did Joonmyeon leave? That seemed to be the ading question.

When I came back with the box, Kyungsoo was sitting on the couch with his omlette zoning out. "Here's that first aid kit."

"Thanks." He said vaguely, focusing his gaze on me. "Joonmyeon hyung's room is a little further down that hallway. You should - you should read his note."

"Don't you need some - "

"Go and read his note." Kyungsoo repeated stubbornly. "I can handle this by myself."

"I can handle this." I repeated. "He said that too when we first met. I still don't know what he meant by that."

"Go." Kyungsoo repeated, staring harshly at his omlette.

I didn't figure I was going to get anywhere with this soon so I retreated to do as he asked. Joonmyeon's room was small like the rest of the house. But unlike the rest of the house it was completely barren but for a bedframe and mattress with a letter laid out on it. Kyungsoo hadn't even moved it. I wondered if he even had come in this room more than once.

I picked the envelope up and sat down on Joonmyeon's bed to read it.

"I'm sorry. It's not your fault. Please take care of Kyungsoo.

- J "

I flipped the piece of paper over expecting more.

But there was nothing. It seemed like Joonmyeon had left my life the same way he entered it. Quickly and without warning. I crumpled the piece of paper and threw it at a barren wall angrily.

He wasn't my type, right?

So why  did I feel like my heart was broken?

---

PLEASE DON'T HIT ME.

I'm sorry for ending it there, really.

If it helps, I am considering a sequel?