I'm going to confess

For the next few weeks, I have been changing, and the whole school took notice of it. I started talking more, showing a face with a little bit more expression, and when I was with Channie- I mean Chanyeol , I couldn’t help but smile. Everyone was freaked out at first, but then decided to just put it on the ‘Reasons why we love Byun Baekhyun’ list.

Chanyeol. That’s another ‘thing’ I want to talk about. Well… I finally found someone that I cared for - A lot – , and now I found what it means to have feelings. Now I can differentiate that being with Suho or D.O feels nice, while being with other people I’m not friends with feels awkward. I can also feel something that I never know what it is when I’m with Chanyeol. Its like he just screws up my whole system. I’m a different person when I’m with him. I have feelings, and I feel kind of human for once. He’s just… special.

“So, when are you going to tell Chanyeol you like him?” D.O said, while Suho just stared waiting for a response. “ Why are you saying I like him?” I said, trying to hide the truth from myself. “Well , first of all, you act human now, and you smile sometimes, and you talk more, and you are nicer to us, which we are very thankful for thank you-“ D.O said, and then Suho continued. “- and you are like that all because of Chanyeol. You only smile when you’re with him, and you act so happy around him. He is the reason why you smile, he makes you happy. He is that important to you. Don’t you understand that?” Suho said and smiled softly.

“I’m acting THAT much differently with him?” I said, starting to break down into the reality of ‘I’m in love with Park Chanyeol.’

“Um.. yeah. Very. You smile all the time with him, and even laugh. You look truly happy. You are so cute together! Remember when you first blushed when he put his arm around you? So cute!” D.O said and fangirld completely. “You’re cute” Suho said and pinched D.O’s cheek. They smiled at each other.

That’s another thing I have become aware of. Suho and D.O totally love each other. How could I be so stupid not to know?

- 2 months later -

“Hey guys, hey Baekhunnie!” Chanyeol said and wrapped an arm around my waist. He did it almost always now. I smiled when I looked up at him. He had his huge smile like always, and was looking at me with his shining eyes. After a few minutes of a conversation with no importance whatsoever between us 4, Chanyeol turned around to look at me.

“Um.. so Baekhyunnie, are we still going to the park today? You said you would show me that lake that you go often!” He said and smiled sweetly.

“If you’re up for it, of course.” I said and smiled a little bit. “Great! I’ll bring my guitar and show you the song I have been learning! but now I have to go ok guys?” He said and looked at a very amused D.O and Suho looking at us like they were watching a movie or something. They nodded, and Chanyeol hugged me before he left, leaving me with a permanent blush on my cheeks.

“You bastard! You already planned the whole thing and didn’t tell us anything!” D.O said, and I just chuckled, leaving them a little bit weirded out because of my sudden happiness, but they are getting used to it.

“Not really planned… I don’t know if I’m gonna say anything yet. I’ll decide when I’m with him there. “

I was in the park’s gates, waiting for Chanyeol to arrive. He was 5 minutes late. My heart was beating with what my friends told me was nervousness. I felt someone wrap their arms around me, and I instantly knew from the height difference who it was. “Hi Chanyeol” I said and Chanyeol put his head in my shoulder. “How come you knew it was me?” He pouted slightly. I chuckled and turned around. “I just know, you giraffe” I said and he smiled at that and put himself in the tips of his toes to look even bigger. “Let’s go then?” He grinned, and I nodded.

“This song…?” I said as I looked up from the sheet of paper. It’s a song about confessing to the one you love. “Yes… don’t you like it? I know you can sing it. You are amazing at singing.” “No, it’s not that. I like it.” Oh my god. Ok control yourself.

He started playing the guitar and the soft melody invaded the whole space around us, and it seemed like the birds and all the nature were playing along with the song using their sounds. I waited for my turn to sing, and then I started to sing along with the music. The lyrics rolled off my tongue easily, since I knew that song well and I sang it a few times. I was smiling as I sang the song and I looked at Chanyeol once, just to see him playing the guitar and looking at me with his mesmerizing orbs. I finished the song and waited for the last note to be played by chanyeol, so I could get my plan into action. You can do this Baek.

I picked up my backpack and opened it, finding my notebook that I usually did some little drawings when I was in class. I gave it to Chanyeol, so that for the first time people could see my personal drawings, that showed the true emotions I was feeling. He opened it on the first page, and I began talking to him.

“You know Chanyeol… I have always been a very sad person. I never knew I was sad, but now I understand that in the past I wasn’t happy at all.” I saw him turning the pages and looking at drawings with depressing pictures and figures in them. “ I was left in the orphanage when I was a baby, and at the age of 4 I was adopted by a man that only wanted me so I could be a prodigy kid. I didn’t have any feelings towards anyone, never smiled and never played like other kids. I thought everyone or almost everyone would get tired of me since I didn’t have a personality, and I didn’t try to make friends. I was always the best student, but I never felt happiness about it. I was always popular, yet I did not care that I was so. I didn’t feel anything, I didn’t feel human…” He turned the page and he saw my first drawing of him, that I did the day that I met him. “Untill I met you. You are truly amazing. You made me smile for the first time, you changed me and made me feel like a normal person. You made me start to know how to distinguish different feelings, and know the reasons behind them. You made me happy. “ He continued to look at the several drawings I did , every day since I met him. They were all of him. “You make me happy. When I’m with you, I feel so happy, it’s just unexplainable. When you touch my hands, my skin tingles at the touch. When you wrap your arms around me, I blush. When you hug me, my heart feels like it’s going to burst out of my chest. What I’m trying to say is, and don’t hate me for it…” He turned the last page, and saw the written words of what I’ve been wanting to say to him since the first day we met. “I love you Channie.”

He looked up and smiled softly. He pulled me closer, until our lips were just a few inches apart. He lifted my chin up so I could look at him, and leaned in to give me the sweetest kiss in the whole world, so sweet I felt dizzy afterwords.

“I love you too Baekhyunnie.” He said, and grinned. I blushed, and looked down again. “Oh, and one more thing.” I looked up at him. “Channie? Really?” I gasped, realizing I said the nickname I made up for him in my mind, for the first time. He pinched my cheeks. “I like it. I like everything you give me.”

“I would give you everything if I could. “ I said.

“The only thing I need is you, Baekhyunnie.” He smiled and kissed me again, making me just as dizzy as before.