Terrified
By: theninjaghost


“You, by the light, Is the greatest find, In a world full of wrong, You're the thing that's right”


I was at my room, locking myself; I really don’t want to see any mistakes of the outside world, the terrifying acts that has been shown to me. It hurts so bad that I can’t really take the pain. The world that only makes my heart break into pieces, I still don’t what to do, I’m in mess, I don’t want to see the world full of misery, misery because of me.

Months has passed when I decided to go out and check what is happening in the world of my own, the misery that I made, is it already finished, did someone solve it? What will happen if they still hate me? How am I going to live like this? Is it wrong to love? How pessimist am I?

As I went outside of my room, the house was full of silence, no maid, no butler, no visitors; no one is here at the big house but me. I felt weak, feeling the feelings that they just left me alone. I go down to the kitchen to look for some foods, but it seems that they really left me with no food. “I-I guess I have to buy my own food” I said weakly.

I was too scared of going outside to left my misery that I made in my world, I was in my normal attire, I get my keys and drove my car to somewhere, where I can think, where I can I have my own peace of mind, not minding them.

I was sitting on the bench with a sandwich and a cup of coffee on my side, enjoying the scenery that I am watching on. And I guy showed up with a smile on his face, I don’t know but his smile melts my heart, I’ve been longing to see a smile like that. I didn’t notice that I was staring at him for a long time that made his smile fades. “Hey Miss…” he called me, I am still staring at him but for the second time he called me I was caught off guard “I-I’m sorry” I said immediately, I get my cup of coffee and my sandwich and went away from him. I was trembling without reason, my heart beats remembering that he called me.

“I still want to see that kind of smile” I said to myself, my heart beats is in normal again, I finished my sandwich and the cup of coffee that I have, I looked for my handkerchief but it’s seem that it’s nowhere to be found. “Hey Miss… you dropped you’re handkerchief…”

“You set it again, my heart's in motion, Every word feels like a shooting star, I'm at the edge of my emotions, Watching the shadows burning in the dark”


I find myself always going here at this place, not knowing that I want to see him every day, but every time I saw him I go away from him. Since the day that he gave back my handkerchief and he smiled for me, I felt happy, that there’s someone who can look at me without hesitation. And I think that he has no idea that I’m in mess, that my world is a misery right now.

But one day, “Hey…” he called me, I looked around and to go away from him, I’m happy to see him but I still don’t know why, I stood up but you held my wrist, “A-are you alright?” you asked me, I nodded and “Are you sure? You looked pale?” he tried to looked at me and I was blushing like a tomato and my heart beats again so fast, “A-re you really okay? Why don’t you sit here again, I’ll go get some drinks” he said. He run off and I slowly sat down again and I put my hands on my face and “hey hey… he’s just being nice!” I said to myself.

He came back and he offered me the drinks that he just bought, I accepted it, and I blushed again, I still don’t know what to do right now, It feels like the world is slowly revolving only on us. Forgetting the misery that I left at my world and facing the present now here with him. I smiled as I felt that the thorns at my heart are already taken out by him.

He told me everything in his life, I was too interested to him, I was too stunned about him, I listened in every word that he says and every laugh that he made. I laughed a little bit yet I know he still sense that I am still not comfortable about him. “Oh by the way, I’m Kwon Ji Yong” he introduced himself, I did surprised me that I didn’t realize that we haven’t introduce ourselves to each other until now, “I-I’m Park Sandara” I said to him. He smiled at me that made me shocked, I don’t know, but I’m always like this every time he smiles at me.

I tried to smile at him, “WOW! You smiled” he said, I was stunned and he chuckles, “You know what?” he said, I looked at him “I’ve been waiting for that smile actually” he said, is he really waiting for it? did he really wants me to smile? Lots of questions forming on my mind, “Tell me about you now, Dara” he said. He was staring at me, like he really wants to know me better.

I bowed my head down and started to talk, “My….” I first said, “My life is miserable” I cover up my mouth and looked at him, I didn’t know why I did say that, but to my surprise he’s just smiling at me like he didn’t heard me saying it. “All of us have miserable life, Dara, my life is miserable but I didn’t want to show it to everyone so I just smile at them… like I always do to you” he said, it widens my eyes when he said my name “Try to smile in every one and it will change everything, if you always show that you’re in miserable, they will feel miserable too, I don’t like that feeling… so smile” he said to me. My tears started to fell to my cheeks, I stiffened as I feel him wiping my tears using his thumb, he was still smiling at me, if it’s like saying to me that I should smile and stop crying.

“And I'm in love, And I'm terrified, For the first time and the last time, In my only life”


Since the day the he said that I should be smiling, I started smiling to everyone, everyone in the big house that I have, everyone came back from a vacation, I guess? The Maids and my butler we’re surprised when they saw me smiling, “Dara-ssi, do you feel better now?” my butler asked me, I nod and smiled at him, I feels so good, and the big house started to feel happy again than I thought. “It’s been awhile since the aura of this house became cheerful” I said.

We meet again, I was too happy and I really want to see him and say that I started to smile to everyone, “Ji Yong” I called him, he was fixing the plastic that he brought and started to put out a sandwich and at his side he gave me a cup coffee, “Wow! Thanks, it’s my favorite meal” I said to him “A sandwich and a cup of coffee” I continued, “What we’re you saying?” he asked to me, “Oh… I just want to thank you, because of you I started to smile again” I shyly said to him. I looked at him and I saw him stiffened and “Ah... Ji Yong… a-are you okay?” I felt nervous; did I say something wrong to him? I just want to thank him. “Oh.. oh yeah” he said to me, I was worried about him “J-Jiyong… did I say something wrong?” I asked him, he looked at me and “N-no.. I’m glad that you started to smile again… let’s eat” he said to me.

I was happy to be with him at this time, I glad that he is with me at this time, I just wished that it will never end, but what is thing feelings? I still don’t know this kind of feelings.

It was like we’re dating, he always gave me foods to eat, flowers to, I still don’t why he is giving me this, but I am happy, I accept it. When he holds my hands, there’s like electricity coming up to me, but I feel happy in the end. I-is this, love they say? I am inlove with Ji Yong? B-but I’m afraid to say this to him and I’m afraid to this feeling, how come?

“I only said it 'cause I mean it, I only mean 'cause it's true, So don't you doubt what I've been dreaming, 'Cause it fills me up and holds me close whenever I'm without you”


“Dara” he called me, I looked at him and our lips meet, again I feel the electricity coming to me, I blushed like a tomato, but I slowly closed my eyes ‘So this is what they call my first kiss’ I thought. The kiss we’re passionate and full of emotions. As soon as he cupped my face and face me, I don’t know what to say to him and what to do.

But why did he kissed me liked that, It was like a dream come true to me but it bothers me, after a minutes of staring to me and looking away from his stare, “I want you to be happy” he said to me “I want you to feel that there’s this someone loves you” he continued “I want to see you smile, I want to hear you laughs” he then grabbed my hands and “But I didn’t expect that I would fall for you”.

It widens my eyes and a tears we’re forming on my eyes, “I-I..” I stutterly said, I still don’t know what to say at him, I looked at his eyes then I looked away, I am crying now. He hugged me suddenly and “Don’t worry, if you’re not ready yet, I am always here for you” he assures me. He may be noticed that I was in panicked, and don’t know what to say to him, but my heart feels that same he feels for me, but am I not really ready yet?

We sat on the bench where we always meet, he holds my hand but I didn’t protested on it, I form a curve on my lips and looked at him, “I-I don’t know what to say…” I said to him, he looked at me and “I’m not hurrying you up…” he said to me, “But, I feel the same way for you, Ji Yong” I said to him, he smiled at me “I didn’t realize that I’m in love with you, I thought it is impossible for me to love” I continued “Yes I was miserable at the time we first met, I was really was” I said to him, “But when you said that I should just smile, everything had came back from its normal form”

“I was afraid to tell you that I am in love with you because I don’t know if it’s really love I feel for you” I said to him. “I want to thank you, because I am now not alone, and I am not afraid to show you that I’m in love” I hugged him and he hugged me back.

The past that I have is now already gone, I am happy that I met Ji Yong, the person who will teach me how to smile again and how to love, everything is back to its normal thing, Ji Yong did really made everything change, I love him, I want to love him forever and will not be afraid of any emotions to show.