It's not fair.

"Nothing in life is fair, Haylin. Fate is a fickle friend."

All I ever did was love her. I knew she loved me too.

"But you won't forget me, wlll you?"

"I'd rather die than let you slip from my memories."

But why does fate need to lend a hand when it's not needed?

"You should go, Yixing. Even if it kills me, as long as you're happy, I'm content."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Setting: Hunan, China
Time: 5:59 AM,
 

I didn't know what heartache a simple email could bring. Especially if that email could change my entire life. But I was oblivious to the future when I opened a confirmation letter from the company I auditioned in. They accepted me. I was so ecstatic that I almost threw my laptop across my room. I jumped up and yelled in happiness. Then I took my phone and hit the number one speed dial on it.

"Hello?" answered a sleepy voice. It's still my most favorite sound in the world: the voice of Woo Haylin, my girlfriend.

"Baby? Sorry, did I wake you?" said I, toning it down a bit.

"Mmmm...considering that it's only 6 AM," she replied groggily. I glanced at the wall clock behind. She was right. I chuckled sheepishly.

"Sorry, babe, but I've got this awesome news that I want you to be the first to know," I said, getting all hyped up again.

"Really? What is it?" That's one of those things I love about her. She will always put aside things just for me.

"I just got the confirmation letter from SM Entertainment!" I said excitedly.

A pause. About five seconds. Complete silence. Ten seconds. I started getting nervous.

"Haylin? Baby? You there?"

A coughing noise or something of the sort came through. "Yeah, I'm here. Congratuations, Yixing honey."

"Are you ok?" I asked nervously. "Are you sick?"

"No, no no," she said quickly. "I'm perfectly fine. I just...choked on the chocolate bar I'm eating."

I relaxed a bit. "Oh, ok. Be careful, Hay, I won't always be there to pat your back, you know, as in, be physically always be with you."

"No, of course you won't," she said softly. At that time, I didn't hear what she said, but I regret not listening well then.

"You wanna go out today?" I asked her suddenly.

There was a brief pause again before she answered. "Sure, I don't have any plans."

"Great. I'll see you at 8. I want to spend this entire day with you."

"Because it may be the last," came her quiet voice, but at that time, I was too excited to hear it.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

I was at there at Haylin's place on the dot. And she came out of the door 5 seconds after I came. Yes, I counted. But at the moment I saw her, it seemed that time stopped for eternity. Or was it just my heart?

Hayline looked like an angel, and that's the mildest thing I could say. Her straight brown hair is rippling in waves around her bare shoulders. Her face looked almost bare, but she always looked perfect that way. Her lips and cheeks were subtly rosy pink, and her eyes were shining. Her skin seemed to give off a radiant aura. She was wearing a pale pink sleeveless dress that fell right at her knees. I remembered that that dress was a gift I gave her for Christmas. She looked so beautiful in it.

"Hey," she said, which made my stopped heart beat like crazy.

"H-Hey," I said. Whenever I see her, it seems like I'm seeing her for the very first time.

"You ready to go?" she said. I got back to my feet. Figuratively speaking.

"Yeah, let's go," I said. I went and wrapped my arm around my princess. She smelled of cloves and flowers, my favorite scents.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

We went to the mall and caught a movie. Later we went window shopping. While she was checking out headbands, I looked over some accessories and took my pick. I paid for it quickly without her seeing. After that we took a stroll in the park and went to eat in her favorite restaurant.

"I didn't get to thank you for congratulating me this morning," I said suddenly. I noticed Haylin stop for a second, then she smiled at me.

"It's ok. You've been waiting for this for a while now," she said. There was something in her eyes and smile, but then I couldn't pinpoint what.

"Yeah. It's great, isn't it?" I said.

After that she grew quiet. I may be an impulsive and loud guy sometimes, but I read people well, especially my girl. No matter how she keeps her feelings hidden, she's an open book to me.

"Haylin, I know something is wrong," I said quietly. I put my hand on hers. "Would you like to talk about it?"

With a sigh, she nodded and didn't deny it, which only made me worry more. When she doesn't deny her feelings, it means it's something big. We paid for our meal and made our way to our own secret place. I found this place for us when I was only about to confess my feelings to her. It's an overgrown shrubbery on the boundary of the neighborhood park. After we became an item, we always went there to talk about things. Like now.

She sat on the bench and I sat beside her and looked at her intently.

"Yixing, I don't know how to say this," she said with a sigh.

"Why? Did something happen at home?" I asked. I won't even try asking her if she's been with another guy because I trust her and she won't ever violate that trust.

"No, home's fine," she said. Then she paused.

"Well, what is it about, Hay?" I asked gently. Haylin doesn't like pressure. She took my hands in hers and gazed into my eyes.

"Yixing, haven't you thought about that confrimation letter? What it might do to us?" she whispered.

I fell silent. What did she mean? Then it hit me: SM Entertainment is in Korea. If they wanted me to train under their label, I would have to go to Korea. Which means leaving China, leaving my family, leaving my Haylin.

"Oh no..." I mumbled. "Oh no, Haylin. I should tell them I couldn't come, and soon. They might send agents to fetch me."

Haylin bit her lip nervously. "I didn't mean it like that, baby. I mean, we might have to put things at rest for you to focus on this career. Of course I won't hinder you from going. This is what you've always wanted for the longest time."

"Hay, I'd rather live here in Hunan all my life with you than go to a foreign country without you," I suddenly. "Are you saying that if I go--which you won't stop me from doing--you'll break up with me?"

Haylin didn't respond. It was terrible. It really was what she meant.

"Woo Haylin, if that's what you mean, then all the more that I'm forced not to go!" I burst out.

She looked at me with glistening eyes. "Don't let pity be the reason why you won't pursue your life-long dream."

"I don't pity you, Haylin. I love you," I said passionately. But she shook her head.

"If you love me, you wouldn't let guilt eat me up, and my conscience whisper to me every night that it was my fault you didn't go," she said softly.

I was silenced. Haylin was great with words. And at this moment, she is absolutely right. I was torn between going and leaving my girl, and staying and letting guilt follow her for the rest of her life.

"We'll talk about this another day, ok? Come on, I'll take you home," I finally said. The car ride was quiet. None of us spoke anything, each one in their own little thought bubble.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

But the inevitable is what it is: inevitable. About two weeks after the confirmation letter, I got another email saying they've booked a flight for me three weeks from now. I didn't know what to reply, so I left it open and stared into space. I didn't know what else to do when I heard my bedroom door open.

Oh great, her sudden appearance made deciding what to do even harder.

"Hello, Yixing. I thought that we needed to talk," she said. She tried smiling at me, but her eyes were mourning.

"Yeah... I dunno about that," I said, falling on my back on my bed and engaged the ceiling in a fierce staring contest. "I just got another mail saying they've scheduled a flight for me three weeks from now. When you suddenly came, the more I didn't know what to do."

I didn't see it, but I felt her go rigid and straighten out into a line. "Should I go, then?"

Without waiting for a reply, she turned to leave. But I jumped up quickly and held her wrist. "No. Please don't go. I need you now more than anything."

She sighed and we sat together on my bed, her head resting on my shoulders and mine resting on her head. We could see ourselves through the wall mirror right in front of my bed. We sat in silence for a while.

"It's not fair, is it?" she whispered.

I sighed and nodded. "Nothing in life is fair, Haylin. Fate is a fickle friend."

"It would be really selfish of me not to let you go," she said. "But just so you know, I'd give anything if we could be together while you go on your career."

"Well, why don't you come to Korea with me?" I said. A spark of hope flickered, but as soon as I said it, Haylin doused it.

"No, Yixing," she said. "I would really love to go with you, but I'll be a distraction for you. It's like in school. Parents won't let their childern have a girlfriend or a boyfriend until they finish college. It's the same situation now."

"Ugh," I grunted and wrinkled my nose. "I never really liked going to school."

She smiled and gently whacked my thigh. "How could the suma cumlaude of his batch say that?"

"Hey, I may be the top notcher, but who said I liked studying?" I shot back.

She smiled at my humor and sighed with contentment. I would too, because being in this position is all I need to get through the day. We sat like that in silence for a long while until Haylin got up and took my laptop.

"What are you doing?" I asked, looking at her curiously. She didn't answer the question as her lithe fingers flew over the laptop's keys. I peeked at the screen only to find the email from SM gone, replaced by a button that said: "Message Sent. Go back to inbox?" My eyes bulged out.

"Haylin, what did you just do?" I said breathlessly. I swear I felt like hyperventilating.

"I sent them a message saying you'll be there," she answered innocently. She looked up at me with her wide, honest eyes. Could I still get angry after that?

"Why? I didn't say I would go," I said. 

She took my hands and smiled up to me. Her innocent eyes were replaced by sad lights. "You should go, Yixing. Even if it kills me, as long as you're happy, I'm content."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The time flew by so fast. In the three weeks that was given to me, it was hardly enough to get ready, tell my family, and spend time with Haylin. But soon, the day of my flight dawned on all of us. My mother and father came with me to the airport. Haylin and her older brother came too. Hyung looked like he would kill me for hurting his little sister.

Soon, the announcer released the dreaded words. "Flight 1A to Korea. Passengers please board on platform 9."

I bit my lip till it bled. I couldn't stand up. But Haylin came and took my hand. She wiped the blood from my lips and walked with me to the platform. Not once did her hands leave mine until we came to the door of the plane that will separate us, maybe forever. I didn't know what to say. I guess neither did she because she was quiet. But I knew I had to go. I squeezed her hands and made her look at me.

"I don't kow if this is goodbye forever, Haylin," I said. "But if you want to put things at rest for a while, I won't take it personally."

"That was the original plan," she said in a tight voice. Suddenly she threw her fragile body against me and hugged my waist. I squeezed my eyes shut, but tears escaped my eyelids anyway. I could feel my shirt getting damp. My angel was crying too.

"Haylin, please, don't cry for me too long," I said softly. I caressed her hair ahnd put my chin on her head.

"But you won't forget me will you?" came her muffled voice against my chest. "Even if...you know, we break up."

"I'd rather die than let you slip from my memories," I said. "Because even if we do break up, you'll always be my number one girl."

"I love you, Yixing," she whispered. I lifted her face up and wiped her tears with my thumb.

"I love you too, Haylin," I replied before touching my lips to hers. Our last kiss. Our most hurtful one.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

After leaving part of myself back in China, of course I wasn't like who I was before.

In China, there lived a happy-go-lucky guy called Zhang Yixing. He is very humorous and he loved to laugh and mingle with people. He didn't take anything, like his school and studies, seriously, but he passes with flying colors anyway. He reads people well and is quick-witted. Also, he couldn't dance to save his life.

And then there's Korea's Lay. Zhang Yixing ceased to exist, replaced by a cold, humorless guy who did nothing but focus on his career and work his off till sundown. He forgot how to laugh at jokes and became a professional dancer and vocalist thru hardcore training. Not a trace of the old me was left behind.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

I trained under SM for some time. During my earlier stay, Haylin always pops up in my mind and it was driving me insane. I still called her from time to time, but eventually, I got busier, and so did she. I grew down-in-the-dumps depressed with the lack of communication. One day, I was sitting in an empty practice room, contemplating on the meaning of my life without Haylin. I didn't find any. My instructor was not there yet. I eyed a guitar in the corner of the room and sparked an idea.

An hour later, I have written my first song for my dear Haylin. And I called it,

Tears Airport