Are you really going to leave me? Are you going to leave me feeling empty, but fill me with regrets? Is there really nothing I can do to help do? Why? Why won't you answer my questions?

These meaningless questions ran through my mind as I raced my car down the block. I passed a red light without even knowing. Unfortunately a police car was just around the corner and forced me to stop.

My mind was stressed, I felt tension rise into my fists as he took his time getting out of his car, and slowly walked towards mine. I yelled at him, urging him to give my ticket as soon as possible so I could leave right away. He raised his eyebrows at me. He thought I was drunk. He made me get out and run through some tests to make sure I wasn't driving under the influence. I screamed my lungs out at him, angrily trying to convince him that I wasn't drunk.

I told him about what had happened, and why I needed to leave urgently. His face looked shocked, with his eyes full of surprise.
 He crumpled up the ticket and threw it into his car. He volunteered to help me get there faster, by sounding out the siren. I happily accepted, but rolled my eyes seeing I had wasted 15 minutes with this stupid cop. Although, thanks to him, I was able to arrive at my destination in 5 minutes earlier than I would have in normal traffic. Still, I was frightened, frightened that I might be 5 minutes too late.

I hurriedly parked my car, and dashed into the hospital. I ran down the halls like a mad man, desperately trying to find her room number. I began to run out of breath. I was beginning to feel tired, I wanted to stop running and walk, but I knew there might not be enough time.

I didn't think today would ever come. I didn't want to day to ever come. Today, you, Eun Hee, would be having an operation. The tumor in your brain has grown so much. I can't help but hate myself, knowing I can't do anything to help you. The doctor said it was up to your will power for this operation to be successful, but...is that really it? Is there really nothing I can do?

I suddenly didn't feel tired anymore. My legs began to run faster subconciously. I felt as if my mind, soul, and body has seperated and acted on its own will, but with the same goal. Get to her as soon as possible.

I know. I know I promised you I'd be there, holding your hand, staying by your side until the operation began. I wanted to be your strength, and to help you get through this. I'm so sorry. You can't even understand how sorry I am. I am so sorry I'm late.

This has become a habit lately hasn't it? I've been late for everything we planned to do together; dates, anniversaries, birthdays and such. Ever since I found out you had that tumor, I didn't know how to react. You, on the other hand, acted as if nothing had happened. You smiled, laughed and acted happy in front of me. You told me you were happy just being by my side, and that you were fine. That was a lie. Even though you smiled, I knew inside you were frowning. Even though you may have felt happy, just being by my side, you felt like you were a burden staying by side. I knew you weren't fine.

I remember that day, you invited me to have dinner at your house with your family. We had fun eating, laughing, talking, enjoying each other's company. Then, right when we were all so happy, you excused yourself into your room. You said you had to "answer" your phone, which apparently was on silent. You accidentally left your door ajar. I walked past your door on my way to the restroom. I saw you. I saw you silently cry into your pillow. You hugged the stuffed animal I won for you at a festival. I leaned against the wall next to your door and slid down onto the ground. I silently sat there, and listened to you speak your worries to the stuffed animal.

You said to it, "I don't think I can stay by his side anymore...." I glanced into the doorway and saw your crystal tear glide down soft cheek.

I clenched my fist, slowly becoming more and more angry at myself. I knew there was nothing I could do. I wanted to go in and comfort you, but I knew you wouldn't want that, You wanted to be strong, and believe everything was fine. If I stayed by your side, I knew it would only hurt more to say good-bye.

You stayed hidden behind the door. You slowly brought up your fist and knocked on it. You told her, "Eun Hee-ah~ I'm feeling a little tired. I'll go home first." I stood up and walked towards the living room. I bowed to your parents, and left. I walked with heavy footsteps, and a heavy heart.

Unexpectedly, you came running out. Before I could turn around, you hugged my back. You wrapped your tiny arms around my waist and held on tightly. I could feel your teardrops on the back of my shirt. I bit my lip, trying not to show any sign of weakness.

"Oppa..." you said softly, "On the day of my surgery, will you come and wait with me until my operation?" Your voice quivered, trying to hold back from crying.

"Yeah. I'll be there." I placed my hand onto yours, and held on. The, I slowly released your grasp, and turned towards you. Your face was watered down with tears. Your eyes were swollen from the short period of tears, and your nose was red and a little runny. I let out a small smile. I held your face in my hands, and tried to wipe away your constant tears. You looked down, away from my face. I kissed her forehead. I led you back inside the house, and out of the cold.

"Everything will be fine. I'll be here, by your side, forever." You nodded, and tried wiping away your tears with your sleeve. I bowed again to your parent, and left.

I got into my car and began to drive towards home. I felt my eyes become warmer and warmer. Then it became more and more blurry. I instanyl parked my car to the side of the road, and began to cry quietly to myself.