Once Minhyuk slipped out the company dorm into the warm light of the late Sunday afternoon, he jogged down the steps and kept jogging. There was still a soft breeze every now and then, and it was that time in the afternoon where people were out and about together, pampering themselves in the stress-free weather, before the return of work the next day.

 Minhyuk struggled to keep a neutral face as he jogged past a young couple—a petite, yet round faced girl and a tall, crookedly smiling guy—holding hands while teasing each other. The dancer simply lowered his cap a tad further and powered on, scolding himself for his jealous bitterness. It wasn’t their fault that he was currently spending this gorgeous afternoon on his way to swallow his pride, hopefully find forgiveness, and not make a terrible situation any worse.

Running a tongue over his stinging lip (he really need to kick his lip-chewing habit;  their makeup artists were going to strangle him if it didn’t heal up quickly) he thought to where Yukwon could have gone as he came to the end of the block.

 Sometimes when he got angry, Yukwon liked to power through a few intense routines at the company’s dance studio, which had its pros and cons. A pro was he had all the space he wanted to tire out his wound up body, plus the BNS building had become a safe space for them as of late, a space where they were they were beginning to re-sync their creative energies once again with the support of their management and staff.

 The con was that there were always people in the building—even on Sundays, and they liked to ask questions, especially when they saw members and trainees in foul moods. The only time they tended to hold off on the questioning was for Jiho, since his mood swings were so frequent.

Besides, if Jaehyo was right (and Minhyuk hoped he was, because at the moment the only thing that was keeping him from feeling like total was the fact that Yukwon may want to see him) Yukwon would want to talk and Minhyuk doubted the fellow dancer would want to go where listening ears were eagerly pricked.

 Minhyuk frowned, turning away from the BNS direction and headed down the left street. That left two other logical places.

 One was the park, which was Minhyuk’s personal favorite. It was medium sized and not particularly popular—nothing too fancy in there aside from some benches and a small fountain— but it was clean and lush enough with simple trails and a fresh scent that could clear his head in a few moments. Sometimes when the group had off days, he and Yukwon would go when there were few people, ipods in tow, and practice together off the trail.

Mihyuk had to smile, as he spotted the park’s gates in the distance. There were a lot of good memories there, especially the times they  shared alone, not practicing but simply lying down, maybe eating ice cream, or lunch and enjoying some quiet time out of the idol limelight. It was such a nice place, that Yukwon wouldn’t have gone there, not when he was so angry at Minhyuk.

Which narrowed the search down to one more place, and it made perfect sense for Yukwon: Every member when they were upset, did their own thing—from Jiho who would lock himself away and glower at anyone who approached him within a particular radius, to Taeil who hated losing his temper so he usually tried to take a nap to calm down. Yukwon liked to play by himself when he was angry, a habit that Minhyuk secretly found endearing. He would become so engrossed in building whatever model, or video game or computer game, that the mix of adrenaline and excitement would eventually soothe his flared nerves. Sometimes, when he was too angry to stay among the others and it was late enough, he’d go to the nearby elementary school’s playground, just past the park.

This is exactly where Minhyuk found him: sitting on one of the too-creaky-for-his-taste swings. In fact, the entire school was a bit creaky: worn down and peeling from lack of funding and care. No one even cared who technically “trespassed” on the grounds during the weekend anymore, and the small playground with its warped slide, sad monkey bars and swing sets was practically open to the entire public. Not that anyone came. Except for Yukwon.

The smile representative wasn’t swinging. Instead he was turning around in slow circles, letting the chains of the groaning swing twist and coil around each other with creaks and clangs. He was staring down at the ground, leaning his head against the left chain. Minhyuk, who was pressed up against the school building, watching him, felt a small tug in his chest. The other dancer looked dejected, which was enough to make him upset, but now that Minhyuk himself was the cause…it just made things worse.

With a sigh, Minhyuk turned his cap backwards and shoved his balled up fists in the pockets of his Nike jacket. He was a bit flushed from jogging down to the school in such nice weather, and the jacket wasn’t necessary—but it was almost like a comfort blanket, though it did nothing to shield the icy glare Yukwon threw his way, once he came into view.

Just remember…you deserve it, thought Minhyuk through gritted teeth, forcing himself to approach the currently anti-smile representative

…Jaehyo, I’m coming after you if you’re wrong about this… because at the moment, the only reason Yukwon looked like he wanted to see him, was to punch him.

Saying a quick prayer to whatever higher power was hopefully looking down on him, Minhyuk took the swing next to Yukwon. The other begun to uncoil his swing, and Minhyuk winced at the popping and groaning. Yukwon knew Minhyuk disliked this hazard zone of a playground, so the older dancer suspected he was doing it purpose. Fine. He deserved that too, but it didn’t make him grip the chains of his swing any less tightly.

“How long have you been here?” he asked, once Yukwon’s swing was back to normal. The other raised a stiff eyebrow at him, his pink thin mouth set firm and shut.  Minhyuk bit the inside of his cheek to keep his frustration at bay. “What? You’re not even going to talk to me now?”

“I didn’t ask you to follow me. You should have stayed back at the dorm.” Minhyuk felt his eye twitch.

Jaehyo, sleep with one eye open tonight you sonofa…He cleared his throat and tried again. He was already here, and he was going to make the most of it. “I thought you might want to come here to talk.”

“So now you want to talk to me. Well go ahead. What do you want to talk about?” Minhyuk couldn’t help the aggravated growl that escaped his throat this time—no amount of cheek or lip biting could silence it.

“Yukwon, you’re being unfair!”  The other rose from the swing, standing in front of Minhyuk , pointing.

“I’m being unfair? Why the hell am I here again, huh?”

“No one told you to run off,” Minhyuk muttered, heatedly, though inwardly he was yelling at himself. This was only going to make things worse. He already knew he was in the wrong, but his pride wasn’t going to let him go down easily, and he’d need to wrestle it into submission. Yukwon laughed, the biting sound drained of any humor.

“Fine. I’ve been here for the past, let’s say…45 minutes, thinking about us breaking up.”

He had looked away as he spat out the words, but they still ripped through the last of Minhyuk’s careful resolve. He all but leaped up from the swing, startling Yukwon who stumbled back, his arms swinging to catch his balance. Minhyuk shot out to swipe at his wrist, steadying him before pulling the smaller member closer. Once the shock of almost falling left Yukwon’s face, the glare that replaced it wasn’t very encouraging, but Minhyuk held on, and the other didn’t  pull away. Yet.

“Yukwon…I …no,” he finally said, softly. He could hear the plea in his voice, and he hoped that it reached the other somehow, because the rest of his words were clogged up in his throat, words he knew he should say, words he wanted to say, words that never seemed the right time to say…. “Please. No. I don’t want that.” Yukwon pushed him away, wringing his wrist free.

“And you think I do? But God, Minhyuk! I’m going crazy—we’ve been dating for over a year now, and you’re still so paranoid! I know you said you needed time, and I understand! Really I do—but there’s only so much I can take! Sometimes, I think you’re just straight up trying to ignore me!” he hissed, and Minhyuk flinched at the venom riding on the accusation.  After a slight pause, complete with Yukwon’s biting glare, he continued.

“And the whole ‘U-Bomb’ thing—“ Minhyuk groaned loudly, wondering if he should curse or kiss the authoring fans for forcing him to have this conversation.

He and Yukwon had first decided to start dating secretly a little over a year ago as trainees, with Yukwon cheekily asking whether Minhyuk had a crush on him half-jokingly, so the shock on his face when Minhyuk admitted his feelings was photo worthy. Minhyuk knew they’d get to this serious point eventually—that it would no longer be a cute secret, satisfied by quick, exciting brushes and private knowing looks. It eventually became a frustrating one that ate away at their patience with themselves and each other. Minhyuk would admit, he may have been pulling away from the other dancer ever so slightly—but only because it was becoming too painful to even playfully hold him in front of their friends and fans, as if nothing were wrong.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry about what I said. You’re right to be pissed at that. I’m just—“

“Paranoid?” Minhyuk shot him a look.

“I just want to be careful. Look at who we are, look at where we live—society can be ing cold, Yukwon. And we’re idols—idols who are already in deep as it is! What are people are going to say? You think I’m being selfish, but I’m worried about you! If anything happened to you because of me—“

“Minhyuk!” Yukwon hissed sharply, before his expression softened an instant later. “Minhyuk,” he tried again, softer this time. “I’m not saying we’re going to change the world by coming out. I’m not even saying we should come out to the whole world! People will judge, but what, are we just going to have to wait until we can live in some perfect country? Doesn’t exist!” Minhyuk sighed, but remained silent.

“And you’re right. We do have an image. I’m not saying we should start kissing in the middle of an interview, but we haven’t even told the other members! Minhyuk, they’re our friends! More than that, even!“

“I know,” Minhyuk stressed, watching as Yukwon folded his arms in preparation for an argument. Minhyuk cared for all the members of Block B, especially after they all had to rely so heavily on each other in the past few months. But despite this, he couldn’t help his nagging reservations. “I trust them, I do. But at the same time, I don’t want them acting awkward around us, I j—“

“So what if they do? We give them a couple of days to get used to it. Minhyuk, I want to be able to hold your hand around the dorm! I want to be able to kiss you when we’re watching TV together, even if someone else is in the room. I want to be able to put a freakin’ Do Not Disturb sign on the bedroom door from time to time!” A smile ghosted Minhyuk’s lips at the last one, as he shook his head.

They had decided to sleep together six months into the relationship (Yukwon had very persuasive methods—so much for being the most innocent member), and chose a day when all the members had plans so that they had to dorm to themselves. Needless to say, they spent most of the day in the bedroom. Since then, private moments came too few and too far in between, and sometimes Minhyuk wondered if they made the right choice.

It wasn’t that he regretted choosing to have —in fact, he had made a deal with himself that he wouldn’t agree to it unless he knew for sure how he felt for the other man. In reality, he knew within three and a half months that he had fallen pretty hard for Yukwon with no intention of getting back up any time soon—if ever—but he also couldn’t exactly wrap his mind around with the dancer back then: research and confidence needed to be gained! He didn’t regret the choice, but their lack of privacy, and busy lives piled ual frustration on top of all the other stresses they normally dealt with.

Their relationship was difficult, Minhyuk knew. But Yukwon had also gotten him through some of the most difficult times in the past year and a half and vice versa. Whenever Minhyuk thought about leaving the group, it was Yukwon who convinced him to stay. He never begged him, but gently walked the older dancer through the real issue—whether it was a lack of confidence on his own part, something happening at home, or whatever else was causing doubt in his mind. Minhyuk knew Yukwon could read him liked an open book, but still he never assumed nor did he pry. He left his door open, and sooner or later Minhyuk would appear with his problem. Minhyuk loved this about him.

“It’s not just the other members, either. I feel like our families need to know. I don’t like keeping this from my parents. From my brother,” Yukwon admitted softly, settling back down in the swing with a sigh. Minhyuk winced. He had spent many a night running over his mind how exactly he was going to let his parents and sister know that he was dating a man, and each scenario left a lot of support to be desired. Still, Yukwon’s parents were religious, and he knew the other was terrified of their disapproval when it came to their relationship, especially his brother’s.

Minhyuk noticed the tears welling in the corner of the other’s eyes, more than likely at the thought of his brother’s disappointment, and his heart wrenched all over again.

He silently reached over to brush away the drop that had begun to fall. Instinctively, Yukwon flinched away, shaking his head. Pressing his lips together as if to stop up the tears, the younger quickly swiped at his eyes with both knuckles, attempting to rapidly blink the wetness away. Minhyuk rose up from the swing, and moved in front of Yukwon, reaching for his hands which went limp at his touch. Minhyunk pressed the slightly wet knuckles to his lips, going down the row of each hand, eyes closed.

Had they been opened he would have seen Yukwon peering down at him curiously, before a, gentle smile grew on his lips. It wasn’t as bright as the ones he was constantly beaming at the camera, but the intimate one he reserved for Minhyuk.

 Minhyuk finally looked up, returning the smile as he leaned into the touch of Yukwon’s hands now cupped around his cheeks. When he spoke, however, his voice was low and serious.

“I am sorry. I love you, Yukwon and I really don’t tell you that enough.” Yukwon murmured his agreement, softly returning the sentiment by whispering the words against the dancer’s cheek. The touch of his breath caused the skin to rise on Minhyuk’s neck, and the older man pulled away from the comforting warmth for a moment, sighing. Jaehyo was more than right—Yukwon deserved a better relationship. Even a hundred “I love you’s” weren’t going to move them forward if they did nothing else. But he’d need to take it one step at a time.

“Let’s tell the other’s when we get back. We can start on our parents next week,” The words were thick in his throat, and his heart began to race as he heard them leave his mouth, but the instant brightness that flooded Yukwon’s eyes nearly melted him. The younger nodded.

“I’m scared, baby,” Minhyuk admitted, leaning forward in his crouching position to press a kiss on the side of Yukwon’s mouth.  The other breathed out a gentle sigh against his slightly rough lips, murmuring I know…me too. Minhyuk wanted all but to devour him whole, yett this time it was Yukwon who pulled away, after one last firm kiss on the mouth. Minhyuk winced at the pressure against the bruised portion of his lip, and the other raised an eyebrow, leaning in to inspect.

“Aw man…you and this lip biting! One day you’re not going to have a bottom lip, and then what will I do?” he teased gently, after a slight tsk of worry. Minhyuk rolled his eyes, getting up and pulling him up from the swing as well.

“Habit,” he muttered, throwing an arm around the other’s shoulder as they made their way back to the dorm. Yukwon tsked again, but they walked in a comfortable silence, enjoying the sinking sun and the promise of twilight on the horizon. After a moment however, Minhyuk frowned, shaking his head. Yukwon looked up curiously.

“What?”

“I guess I owe the fans one…but after everything’s been said and done…I still think fanfiction is weird as hell, man” he said, with a sigh. Yukwon groaned, pulling away from the other and landing a few pokes in his shoulder.

“Shut up, Minhyukie,” he said. But he couldn’t  smother the giggle in his voice at all.

When Taeil entered the (surprisingly clean for once) bedroom, he wasn’t sure what to expect. Out of all of the members Jihoon and Yukwon were the only two he had never argued with. Yukwon, because they spent the first few months walking on eggshells around each other, an awkward feeling which had over time warmed into a deep rooted sense of respect. Jihoon, because they were always on such good, close terms.

When Taeil first began staying at the dorm, he missed his younger brother terribly, but was surprised to find a younger brother Jihoon, who seemed to take to him quickly. It was a shock to Taeil, because while all of the members had treated him fine enough, he hadn’t found a partner in crime like Jiho and Kyung, or Minhyuk and Yukwon. He and Jaehyo worked well together, and he enjoyed spending time with him (especially attempting to cook together), but after a few weeks of dorm life, Taeil—who never really went out of his way to make friends before—wondered if his fishes were going to be his closet companions.

Then one day Jihoon came in questioning him about said fishes and it was a done deal. The two stuck together, and Taeil was decidedly happy.

“Hyung,” came Jihoon’s throaty acknowledgement. He nodded from his spot on the bed, putting his cellphone down. His tone wasn’t quite encased in frost, but Taeil wanted to make a face at the distance in his voice. Instead he pulled up a backwards chair next to Jihoon’s bunk, leaning against the back rest. The brooding maknae frowned, turning to face him.

“Hyung… I know you want an apology, and I don’t wanna be rude or make you angry, but right now…” Jihoon shook his head, clearly not feeling apologetic at the moment. Taeil’s brows raised, but he rubbed his nose to hide his smile.

Even though Jihoon was the maknae, he didn’t act like one. On stage and during work, he did exactly what he was told, because performing could be stressful enough and he accepted that his hyungs had a lot to teach him. Off the stage, he was extremely opinionated, less clingy (but always close to Taeil) and more easy-going. He was quick to disagree with the others in the dorm when he saw fit, and they couldn’t really bully him into doing a lot, sometimes much to their disappointment.

“It’s okay. I think I should be apologizing to you, actually.” Jihoon’s frowned deepened with suspicion, but he waited silently. Taeil continued, no longer hiding the small smile playing on his lips. The maknae was definitely his kryptonite.

“I shouldn’t have kept trying to talk down to you,” said Taeil with a sigh. “You’re only three years younger really—yah, don’t let it get to your head!” Jihoon smirked, but nodded. “A part of me can’t help it though, but I’ll try and lay off a little. Oh, and stop watching whatever weird Kyung and Jiho give you,” he added quickly, peering at the other over his glasses.

Jihoon laughed, throwing his head back and nearly clonking it against the wall. Taeil smiled, quietly watching him, enjoying seeing the mirth back on his face.

Maybe this is enough, he thought. Clearly Jihoon forgave him, and he really was going to ease up on the overbearing role as much as he could, though that would be a challenge he knew— Taeil had nearly landed himself in the hospital, due to the tress of Jihoon becoming sick. A tearful Yukwon had to beg him to eat something at one point after going nearly a day and a half without food in between hospital visits and worrying. His mother had also threatened to drag him home if he didn’t start taking care of himself better.

Jihoon might have to start taking care of me more, soon enoughthought Taeil with a silent chuckle. It took him a few moments to realize the other was talking to him.

“Eh?” Taeil blinked, finally noticing Jihoon’s large hand waving in his face. Jihoon shook his head, a teasing smirk playing on his lips.

“When you said ‘lay off,’ I didn’t think that meant ‘totally ignore,’” Taeil swatted his hand away, but grinned sheepishly.

“Sorry,” he said, adjusting his glasses. “Zoned out a little. What were you saying?”

“I asked how you got to reading those fanfiction things.” Taeil’s playful smile fell like shattered glass, and he buried his head in his arms with a groan. Between snickers, Jihoon managed a c’moooon hyuunng andwith another groan, Taeil wrenched his head up, blowing out a puff of air that whipped at his neatly cut bangs.

“Fine. Fine.  I reallywas kind of curious…but it was Kyung who started it!” Taeil sighed, shaking his head. That kid. “It was about a few weeks ago. You and I had just got back from doing grocery shopping for the week, and he passed by me in the kitchen saying something about ‘taepyo, taepyo.’ I asked about it, and he told me to look it up.” Complete with suspicious wiggling eyebrows and  a crooked, mischievous grin too. Jihoon nodded, motioning the other to continue. Taeil shot him a pointed look, but complied.

“So…I did. And, it was just…strange, I guess. In one, I felt like I was a…I don’t know, a stuffed animal or something.”

“Cute and cuddly?” supplied Jihoon, brightly. Taeil rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, sure. In the other…I was like a depressed stuffed animal. They weren’t bad or anything…it was funny in a way. But I want to be the knight in shining armor, damnit! You were always comforting me, as nice as that is,” he said this as teasingly as possible, as to avoid another argument. It didn’t bother himthat much—he was flattered that the fans wanted to write about him in the first place. Jihoon waved his comment away and grinned.

“You comfort me tons in real life. Maybe I want to return the favor, sometimes. I should thank those fans! And you are cute and cuddly, by the way. Nope, don’t deny it,” he added when Taeil snorted. “But you’re a whole lot of other things too—like the best advice giver I know.” This earned him a smile. It was nice to be appreciated, and it meant the most coming from Jihoon. But the younger wasn’t quite finished.

“Hyung, you do need to give yourself more credit! Not just for the good stuff though…for all the trouble you make too! The fans all think we’re the bad ones, but if only they knew about you….and remember that time Jiho hyung messed with your fish? Aww helllll….” Taeil frowned, struggling to keep the grin off of his face.

“Nah. Don’t remember.” Jihoon gave him a look, because they could all remember Taeil cussing up a nasty storm as he raged through the dorm, demanding Jiho to “come the out” and “ing explain [his] goddamn sorry .” It was total, epic rage that left all the members wide-eyed, holding back nervous laughter and left a surprisingly remorseful Jiho helping Taeil with fish duty for a solid moth, including daily cleanings. Now the leader couldn’t glance at that tank without a slight shudder. Justice well served.

A comfortable silence eventually fell in the room, as Jihoon laid back in his bunk with his arms behind his head, and Taeil rested his head on the back of chair, over his folded arms, thinking of Jaehyo’s advice. He had followed it seventy-five percent of the way, and decided (for the hundredth time in his weary mind) that if Jihoon was happy with this resolution, then so was he. No need to go wandering in into the unknown, if the maknae was comfortable…

“Mmm… hyung?” Jihoon broke the silence, causing Taeil to peek up from his resting position. The sudden seriousness of the maknae’s tone made Taeil’s throat tighten so much, that he barely managed a yeah, Jihoon? as the other rolled on his side to face him.

Okay. So maybe Jaehyo was right after all—why was he all of a sudden so damn right? Taeil swallowed the swelling lump in his throat as Jihoon sighed, his dark eyes traveling over his hyung’s face carefully. Taeil could feel his face heat up, but he tightened his grip on the back of the chair, resting his chin firmly on his hands to keep himself from bolting out of the room.

“What is it?” he asked softly, feeling as though he was about to dive into cold, dark water. Jihoon coughed, before focusing a very intense gaze on the oldest member.

“It kind of means a lot to me that you came and apologize. So…I think I need to be more honest with you.” Taeil nodded slowly, trying to wish away the ache in his chest. Jihoon sat up in bed, scooting to the edge so that the two were closer than before.

“You know I want you to see me more as an adult, but there’s a…specific reason why.” Taeil watched as color seeped up the maknae’s thick neck. His foot was tapping nervously. “It’s kind of dumb—” Taeil winced as the usually deep voice broke on the word dumb, but before Taeil could disagree Jihoon powered on as much as he could, “—but I thought maybe if you saw me as less of a little brother that—that, you’d see me as…something else?” he ended weakly, risking a glance at Taeil after his gaze had dropped to the ground mid-sentence. Taeil wondered whether he should prompt him further—that’s if his voice wasn’t lodged in his throat—or allow the other to continue on his own.

Jihoon groaned, shaking his lowered head. “This is really messed up, sorry. Okay...” He cleared his throat, squared his shoulders and met Taeil’s gaze. “I don’t want you to see me that way anymore, because I like you…as more than a friend. Or a brother,” he added softly.

Taeil took in the maknae’s set jaw, dark eyes and his stiff stance, the way he was slightly hunched over now, with his chin resting in clasped hands, broodingly waiting for a response. Despite the sudden heat sweeping over Taeil’s body, and the sudden outbreak of sweat on his hands, he couldn’t help the small, strangled sound that escaped his throat.

Jihoon raised a brow. “What…are you laughing at me? What the f—I’m not joking!” His momentarily stricken face was now a twitching struggle between anger and mortification. Taeil threw up his hands in defense, fumbling for damage control. He hadn’t mean to…giggle, he blamed it on the dangerous cocktail of emotions swirling around in his body at the moment, from the pounding heart, to the clammy hands, to the slight wonder, to the fear…he needed to rein it all in before he cracked any further.

“I know Jihoon, I know….I didn’t mean…I just wasn’t sure…” Taeil sighed, feeling his stomach on the cusp of a lurch as he gathered the nerve to spill his own secret. “I wasn’t sure you were ever going to tell me. And I…” he trailed off, hands moving in attempt to finish off his sentence. The hands froze as Jihoon’s eyes narrowed in on him, darkening considerably.
 

“So when you say you know…you mean—“ his mouth dropped. “You actually knew? You knew, knew?” He leaned back suddenly, pointing his finger accusingly. Taeil fiddled with his left earing, nodding.

“And you never said anything?”

“What could I say?” Taeil cried, feeling as though Jihoon was ripping something out of buried depths.

“How did you find out? Was I that obvious?” It was no secret to anyone that the maknae was affectionate with Taeil, with all the hugs, pokes, nudges and chaste kisses they had shared in public. Taeil never minded this, even when it first began, but much of it was reserved for the public. Although the affection wasn’t false, at home, Jihoon was usually calmly by Taeil’s side, and their adoration for each other was more subtle in a way the others found hopelessly endearing.

“Jihoon—“ he pleaded, feeling him about to pry at yet another secret.

“How? I never told anyone!” Taeil groaned , lurching up from the chair. He began to walk around the room, pressing his knuckles together in a nervous fidget. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Jihoon as he began to talk, but he could feel the other’s eyes boring holes into him.

“This is kind of embarrassing,” Taeil started, and winced at Jihoon’s bruised yeah, tell me about it. “Honestly, I’ve known since around October.” He cringed at Jihoon’s rumbling what? but continued on, before his nerve was shot. “You were getting over a cold or something, and the rest of us had gone out. I had forgotten something at the dorm and I went back...I guess you didn’t hear someone come in…anyway, I heard you in the bedroom.” Taeil resisted the urge to press his hands over his face in order to smother the fire that seemed to be burning his cheeks. He glanced over at Jihoon blinking at him, an uncertain frown replacing his previously unhappy expression.

“Heard me in the bedroom?” Taeil almost rolled his eyes—was his life not difficult enough?

Of course now, the older singer was pulled right back into the thick of the memory, and he could feel his body stricken all over again as he caught the low moan of his name on Jihoon’s lips through the slightly ajar bedroom door. He had stopped mid reach for his wallet and hurried over to the door, wondering whether the maknae was okay (and how could he tell it was Taeil?), until his mind registered the sight he peered in on: the way Jihoon was biting his lip, his body withering under the covers, the rhythmic motion of his hand through the sheets…and of course the throaty Taeil leaving his lips. Taeil had scrambled out of the dorm as silently as he could, feeling as though his lungs were rapidly shrinking, so much that he grasped at his chest as he made his way back downstairs, throat dry and eyes wide and heart ready to explode. It was only when Jaehyo texted him, asking where he went, did he push down the tangle of feelings he didn’t feel brave enough to touch and return to the rest of the members.

Back in the present, those feelings were still tangled, but Taeil knew he no longer had the luxury of overlooking them. He coughed.

“Yeah, in the bedroom. You were saying my name. A lot. Alone. In the bedroom. A lot,” he stressed, this time staring at Jihoon.

Jihoon blinked once. Twice. “Alone in the bedr---oh.” And then his mouth dropped once again as wide-eyed horror crawled onto his face complete with a flaming red flush. In a blinding flash, before Taeil could even move in his direction, Jihoon had thrown himself back into his bed, smothering his pillow over his face. Taeil could just make out a muffled, yet Jiho-worthy wail of OH. MY. GOD.

Taeil hurried over to the other’s bunk, trying to pry the pillow out of Jihoon’s steel grip. He was simply met with resistance and more mortified, muffled wailing. When Taeil attempted to land a reassuring hand on his shoulder, the other turned to face the wall, still clutching the pillow with one hand and using the other to wave Taeil away with a crystal clear message of just leave me here to die, please.

“Jihoon,” tried Taeil, as firmly as he could. “C’mon, don’t be like this. Talk to me,” he asked, his voice on a few notes shy of pleading. He still sounded calmer than he actually felt. He was also worried that the other was going to suffocate himself.

The one in question quieted down for a moment, loosening his grip on the pillow.

“Hell no.”

“But didn’t you want to talk about this?” Jihoon now turned back over, tossing aside the security pillow, and looked to Taeil with narrowed eyes.

“Yeah, that was before I knew you—you—!” Taeil gave a weary sigh, turning his chair around the right way and collapsing down.

“I know, I know. And please let me just say this: It’s okay. I just thought that if I didn’t bring it up, then it’d just…” Taeil trailed off, feeling as vulnerable as Jihoon looked.

“…you thought it’d pass? Like a phase, right?” Jihoon snorted bitterly. “So did I…but it’s been a while now. I had to give up on that a long time ago,” Jihoon shrugged, his eyes still uneasily watching Taeil. “Thanks for being…understanding.” Here, Jihoon managed a thin smile, and Taeil somehow felt a bit hurt, felt as though the other was brushing it off as him being understanding…as usual.

“But we really don’t have to keep talking about it now,” he said after another moment of silence. “It’s out there, so please just—“Taeil suddenly started, as if he had been struck.

“What? No…No, Jaehyo’s right—“

“Jaehyo?”

“…long story. Either way, I ignored it last time, and it wasn’t fair to you—I shouldn’t have used your ‘role’ as the maknae to write off your feelings. That’s bull, and I’m sorry. I’m really sorry,” he leaned forward to grab Jihoon’s hand, and now it was the younger who started, eyes switching from Taeil’s grip to his face.

“But I need some time,” Taeil continued softly, squeezing his friend’s thick wrist. Ever since he realized that things were secretly changing between the two of them, he had built a wall around that change and all but disciplined himself to view the maknae in one particular, protective light. At this point, any alternative seemed foreign and distant—it would take time for Taeil to understand his own feelings and how deep they ran, and where they ran exactly. Taeil could feel his stomach twist at the thought, at the vulnerability he would possibly have to face. But this was Jihoon, and he would try for him.

Only for Jihoon. He squeezed his wrist again.

 “Look…I can’t promise…I can’t promise we’ll be together next week, or next month or even—“ here, Jihoon chuckled, low and warm, and leaned closer to his hyung.

“I’m not asking you to promise me anything. Really.” Taeil shook his head.

“But…but,” he murmured, struggling to get a hold back on his voice, “what if someone else comes along? For you, or me, or—“

“Then they come. Nothing’s set in stone—I get that. I’m a big boy now. Remember? Minus that momentary breakdown of embarrassment, of course,” He chucked softly, shaking his head. Taeil could still trace a tinge of pink in his face, but his eyes were soft, with a clear understanding that allowed Taeil a mellow wave of relief. They would be fine, no matter what. Somehow, they would be—he needed to believe that.

Jihoon continued. “All I need is a chance. Even a small one.”

“A chance,” Taeil repeated, slowly. The rapper nodded, leaning his forehead against Taeil’s

“Yeah. It’s way more than I expected. I mean, it’s a start, right? I’ve got time.” As he watched Jihoon’s close face swim in his vision, and felt the other’s hands completely cover his own, Taeil couldn’t—and didn’t want to—hold back the smile that broke out on his face. Things weren’t perfect. There were still so much to talk about, to consider; some things glaringly obvious, others that would crop up as time passed. But for now, Taeil nodded, enjoying the solid warmth of Jihoon against him.

Author’s Notes:

Wow! 21 subscribers now! Thank you all so, so much for reading/enjoying/commenting/subscribing! I’m really flattered!

Confession about this (really long, I’m so sorry) chapter: When I first finished it, it was so bad, I couldn’t even read it all the way through without cringing! Ahhhhh, I could barely START the chapter. It’s that U-Bomb, man! I felt like I wasn’t doing them justice at ALL. Nothing seemed to be working. Taeil and P.O were another story all together, also frustrating argggghh. Maybe I’m just bad at romance OTL

Anyway, I tried to re-work it a bit so hopefully it’s readable now…

Author Responses:

@newbie-23: Hope the mystery (probably wasn’t much of a mystery, right? Lol) is cleared up now :D And I hope I did U-Bomb justice, cause I was totally in uncharted territory!

@ An69ie: Hehe your comment made smile a whole lot! Nope, I’m not a fortune teller I just write what’s floating around in my head, but I’m glad you find the story realistic! I’m 99.8 percent sure it never happened though ;D

@ Halil16: Wow, I’m really glad you found it deep—I wasn’t expecting that sort of reaction at all! Hope this chapter was okay for you too!

@ nightray215: Thank you :D and yessss Zikyung IS LOVE. I wish that all the Zikyung authors would just start producing tons and tons of fics! Taeil is my bias, but I love the dynamic that is Zico and Kyung’s friendship/bromance/whathaveyou ;D

@WeirdoTheGreat: First, I really like your penname :D Second, thank you! I’m glad you find the couples realistic—I was pretty nervous about that since this is my first time writing anything Block B related. Hope you enjoyed the Taepyo!

Thank you all again for subscribing and your sweet comments! The next chapter should be the last real chapter (with a little conclusion that I’ll probably post together with it). Let’s see how  Zico and Kyung handle their issues...wish them luck XD