“Will you marry me?” Jonghyun kneels down on the cold floor, one knee bending awkwardly. His hands extend forward, clutching a red velvet box. A white gold ring glitters under the dim yellow light.

 

He stares at his own hand, not daring to meet the others eyes. His heart beats nervously, waiting for an answer but all he hears is silence. A complete uncomfortable silence. He looks up, meeting the other boy’s eyes, hoping. “Kibum?”

 

“I.. I..” Kibum shifts nervously, rubbing his face in a confused manner. He is still not giving any answer and Jonghyun is still waiting. “Jjong..” the boy sighs, looking extremely guilty.

 

Hurt starts to creep into his eyes, his heart, and his entire soul. His eyes feel moist, tears prickling at the corner. But no, he can’t cry. Not in front of Kibum at least.

 

“Jjong..” Kibum sighs again. “I—I never swings that way.” He pauses for a moment, eyes staring deep into his own puppy brown eyes. “I thought you knew.”

 

“Oh..” comes out his short reply. “Oh..” and he stands up abruptly, clasping the red velvet box shut.

 

“Oh..”

 

“I’m sorry Jonghyun.” Kibum tries to hug him and Jonghyun can see hurt flashes in Kibum’s eyes momentarily when he steps back, away from Kibum.

 

He shakes his head softly, trying to smile. But his mouth feels stiff and he gave up the idea. “No Kibum. I am sorry.” With those last words, he turns around, walking away from the boy – his first and only love.

 

 

4 JUNE 2012