Promise me.

Description

When Choi Minho, the son of the most famous movie producer and super rich super model transfers schools, He gets the suprise of his life. he was only used to private schools were all the other rich and sophistcated children are. but when he goes to a public school, he is completely bafled at the others kids behavior. After surviving the first day of school, his butler picks him up driving him home. on his way home, he notices a young pretty girl being cornerd by a group of guys. he does nothing. the next morning his father summons him and tells him he has a new butler..... and its the girl from the day before~~!? But wait his dad just said butler right???

Foreword

Hi Guys~! um im new here and i know many ppl say this but its my first fan fic~ >.< so um hope you enjoy~!!!! Oh btw plz feel free to comment about what you think about my writing:) and it would make me rly happy if you subscribed~ well happy reading!

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Comments

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Eleenluvu #1 Jan 3, 2014 06:18:01

Chapter 7: what a nice story

JUjuliet #2 Apr 21, 2012 10:22:02

I don't want to sound harsh for saying this, but I just wanted to give you a few advice and pointers. Since you're a beginner writer. I'm also one too but I've been improving on my writing. Well her r some things I want 2 point out:
- even though you indicate who's point of view it is- they all ARE THE SAME. It's still mixed in 3rd person point of view. And when you're in a person's POV i.e. Taemin's- he shouldn't know every thought of the other persons. Think about it- you wouldn't know what someone les is thinking right? Unless you are writing it from the authors POV. In all all your POV sounds like here in the same 3rd person POV.
- Your character persona sounds exactly how you would speak in real life. They're like a flat character that doesn't have a persona of their own. It sounds like your using your own self in this.
- I admire your plot, since I ended up reading the whole thing. By your plot sounds a bit simple and predictable. To be honest at some parts of the chapter I skipped alot of your paragraphs because it just made me lose interest easy. The whole plot sounds a bit something from a daily drama... A bit rushed-
- I don't know if English is your first language or not but I hope you improve in it. I'm not good in English very well and believe me when I compare my first writing and to my now ongoing FICS I see alot of my improvements in how I write and stuff. So word of advice pay attention in your writting class and write alot. Also read other people's fanfic which would give you some idea on how your writing could improve alot better. I can tell if you actually practice a
Bit more on your English and writing style, you can create something even better then this.
I know what I'm saying sounds a by harsh but I thought I should help you out since I was once in your shoes. Well every author would always have a critique- u gotta take it in and listen to their advice. I didn't hate your story but I can't say I don't like it either- fighting!