The sky is already dark. The city lights of Seoul are almost fading. I once again checked the time in my wrist watch.

It says 10:30 pm. I am on my way to my favorite park. The park was already deserted when I arrived. I slowly walked towards the center fountain. It was big, magical and happy just like it was before. This is my favorite part in this park.

But now, I can't help looking at it with sadness. This will probably be the last time I'll have the heart to see the beauty of this fountain.

The colors of the water joyfully changed as I sat on the border of the fountain. It made me smile, making me remember something three years ago.

♥~~~~~~~~~~♥

"Minchan-ah, saranghae. Will you be my girlfriend?" Youngmin suddenly said as we were walking silently in the park. I stopped right at the center of the fountain when I heard him say that.

"Youngmin-ah?" I was so shocked that I could only utter his name. His eyes were on the concrete floor now.

"Eversince I've met you, I never had the courage to say this but now..." then he looked straight into my eyes. "...now I want to tell you personally. Park Minchan, I really love you and I want you to be my girlfriend."

My heart was beating so fast when he said those words. Youngmin is the person I like for four long years. I've been liking him but I don't have the guts to tell him what I feel. I can't even show it in my actions too. In the end, it looks like I don't have any interest for him. But now, what's happening in front of me... I just can't believe it. And suddenly, tears were flowing from my eyes.

"Minchan-ah are you okay?" Youngmin asked, worried.                                                                                             I smiled at him and nodded for several times.

"Is that a yes Minchan?"                                                                                                                                             I just continued nodding. Then he hugged me tightly, and I hugged him back.

"I wanna hear it from you." He whispered, still hugging me.

"Yes, yes I'll be your girlfriend."

I knew what kind of relationship I was into. I knew from the beginning that this relationship will be in secrecy, that I'm the only one who'll know that he loves me. Ofcourse, he's an upcoming idol star and he can't be in any relationships. I don't mind, because right now, I'm the happiest person in the world. I have the most thoughtful, caring and loving boyfriend. It was perfect.

The first year of our relationship was happy. Though we can't be together all the time due to Youngmin's schedule, he makes sure to visit me at home. Sometimes we see each other at school too. He was also always there on special dates and occassions. On our first year anniversary, he rented the whole park for the evening and arranged a candle-lit dinner for us right in front of the fountain. It was the most romantic gesture a guy can do for his girlfriend. Perfect, as I've said.

The year after that was kind of busy for him. They have promotions almost everyday and sometimes they're even out of the country. The time we spend together was lessened. But he texts me if he has a vacant time though. I would already be happy to receive three messages in one day from him, but sometimes there's none. :( It's okay, I understand him. Being an idol star is his dream, and I will always support his dream. This is just a little sacrifice I'm making. But I really miss him, I miss him sooooo much that it hurts. I know he knows how I feel and I know he wants to make it up to me if only his job permits.

He loves me, i know. He finds time to tell me those words. I also love him very much... that's why I'm being understanding and patient. On our second anniversary, I went there. Yes, on that very same park, in front of the fountain.

He promised to be there.

Seconds passed, then minutes and eventually hours.

But no signs of Youngmin at all.

I went home with tears in my eyes. Later that night, I got a call from him.

"Yeobo, mianhe." I stayed silent on the other line. " I know how much hurt you are. I know all the sacrifices you are making for this relationship... but Minchan-ah, you know how much I love you right? I almost want to give this career up but when I think of you... when I think of you, you become my energy. You inspire me, you make me happy. Minchan-ah,  please hold on, hold on for me." His voice was also pained and it pains me more to hear him like that.

"I love you too, sooooo much. Let's stop crying now, okay?" I said in a shaky voice. I heard him chuckle.

"Happy 2nd Year Anniversary, Yeobo."

"Happy 2nd Year Anniversary."

After that sincere talk, I could feel him more often. He always texts me. He even calls me. But that didn't last for long. A few months later, Boyfriend because the Best Rookie Group. They were at the peak of their career. I truly am happy for them. Atlast, they were recognized for their talents. But that means more projects, more hectic schedules. I already expected for the worst then.

Eventually, we didn't have any communication at all. Never did I miss a day without texting him. But I get no reply at all. It seems like I was left hanging. It was painful and it seems like I can't handle it any more. Then I realized that it wasn't perfect at all.

One night, Youngmin called.

"Minchan-ah, I'm so sorr..."

I immediately cut him off. "Youngmin, we really have to talk..." I told him in a low sad voice. It became silent for a while.

"Okay..." he finally said and we hung up.

♥~~~~~~~~~~♥

As I reminisce the past, I didn't notice that tears are already forming in my eyes.

Then I felt someone kiss my cheeks. I tilt my head and saw him standing in front of me. Again, he wasn't looking straight into my eyes but I can see right through them that he is also in pain.

"Happy 3rd Year Anniversary..." There's sadness in his voice. There's sadness everywhere.

I already want to breakdown but I held my ground.

"Youngmin-ah... I know, I know that I promised to be a very understanding girlfriend. I swear, I tried my very best for you because I love you so much. But Youngmin-ah, it seems like I can't keep that promise anymore." I am crying already and now I'm the one who can't look at him.

"No, you're wrong. You've been a very understanding girlfriend. I'm very lucky to have you. You've been supporting me for years. You wouldn't sacrifice that mcuh if you didn't love me, right? Don't say sorry, I'm the one who should say that. I'm the one who has been hurting you, I'm so sorry Minchan-ah. But can't we work this out? I know we can work this out, please Minchan-ah..." Now tears were also flowing down his cheeks.

"We will just hurt each other more. I love you. Let's break up."

When I said those last words, I felt like I was piercing my own heart with a dagger. Believe me, this is the hardest decision I've ever made. All my life, I only loved this guy and now... everything seems to fall apart for the two of us.

"I'll give my career up." He said stiffly. I was shocked by his sudden decision. I can't let that happen. I know that this is his life, I can't let him ruin his own dream.

I held his hands, as he held mine.

"No, Youngmin-ah, don't you ever give your dreams up just for me. Please, this is the last request I'm going to ask you. Live up your dreams, for me please." Then I hugged him tightly.

This will be the last time I can hug him like this. He hugged me back.

I pulled back and look at him with agony. It's the same for him.

We never thought that this day would come for us. We never planned this to happen. We never wanted this.

He leaned down to kiss me for the last time, it was sweet yet painful. And he walked away.

Then I finally brokedown. I held the boarder of the fountain for support.

"I will always love you Youngmin-ah." I whispered as he slowly walked away from me. Seeing only his back, is another proof that this is all true. That this is not a dream that I can forget when I'm awake.

And suddenly he looked back, tears were still visible in his eyes.

"Minchan-ah. I will always love you and only you. Please wait for me."

~~~~~~

*A/N Finally! I finished it. :) Hope you liked it though it's a sad one. I'll try to come up with a happy one next time. Kyaaaa~ Comments are highly appreciatiated here. :) Annyeong! Hmmm, seems like it will rain in while here in our place. Gloomy Saturday it is. Ppyong*