Hey Bambi!

Do you think Appa is gay?

Do be honest, Bambi, coz I’m banging my head on the wall right now so please stop me before I break my skull (not that I intend to coz as you can see it’s just a soft, mild, thud I’m doing….for the nth time, so it still hurts).

I don’t get the fuss with this whole YunJae thing, like, what the hell does YunJae mean anyway?

Wh….what? I can’t….I can’t hear you, Bambi. Wait let me just remove that cute little headband on your head so you can-

WHAT!? Me and Jaejoong…..TOGETHER!? Like, together TOGETHER!? Holy guacamole now I get it. I get it. Holy shrapnels of love that is just…..bizarre (wait let me just check the dictionary if I used it correctly, Bambi)- okay let me restate it – Holy shrapnels of love that is just WEIRD, Bambi! ME? And JAEJOONG?

Gosh, Bambi, can you give me a glass of water – yes please, thank you, baby. OH MY GOLLY GOOD ABS WHAT THE – I just can’t believe it, Bambi. Why would people think we are together?

I touch him too much? But that’s just normal….for me. I don’t know, it’s just natural for me to hug him. I know he’s no stuffed toy, Bambi, just like you are no stuffed toy, but I’m just fond of that guy plus he cooks me us meals and he washes my our clothes and he hugs me as well and he cleans the house and he hugs me back and he washed you and he said I’m manly and he looks foxy and hot like a girl –

You think that’s why I like hugging and touching him, Bambi? Coz I think he looks like a girl? Well he does, he really does. I mean, you’ve seen him countless times right? He looks so much like a girl with those big beautiful dazzling doe eyes and porcelain smooth pale skin and plump luscious red lips and all his girly mannerisms. Just look at him. LOOK AT HIM! He screams gayyyy NOT ME!

Uh, Bambi, this is another blow to my ego and when my ego is blown off it just blows away. How did our fans get that idea? Now the management wants us to act like that every time it’s driving me crazy lately. That’s just unfair, Bambi, why should I cuddle him when I can’t cuddle you….in public?

Oh crap look at this…look at all these comments during our Paris trip, Bambi. Gosh Youtube is close to being a captain of pirates with pirated movies. Look, one said we look adorable together riding the merry-go-round and the ferris wheel and we should just have kicked the other three off the car (ha! That’s quite amusing) so we can have privacy. Why would I need privacy with Jaejoong???

Here’s another. She (I’m assuming all of these are SHE’s) said we look like a real couple when I was holding Jae’s hand. Oh c’mon people, everyone knows Jaejoong is clumsy, he could fall off that ledge if I didn’t hold him. The other three were goofing and I felt it was Leader-sshi’s responsibility to think of the welfare of my members, especially the lead vocalist……..

Geez, the fans expect a lot from YunJae…what am I supposed to do, Bambi? Oh wait, Jaejoong’s asking something………

Sorry, Bambi. What? WHAT? I DID? I hugged Jaejoong for 10 full minutes OH MY BEAUTIFULLY SCULPTED ARMS I swear I didn’t know what I was doing, Bambi. I couldn’t hear what he was saying so I moved closer and-

Oh my gosh, Bambi, please tell me I’m not gay. Am I gay? Oh no no no no am I gay. No, I’m not gay. There’s just no way, not especially for Jaejoong. He’s not even my type!

Okay, okay, so he HAS straight hair and he cooks really well and he has big eyes and that sounds just about my ideal girl so…..

Oh my…oh my g- Bambi, I feel sick. Oh crap, Bambi, Appa needs to throw up.

Later, Bambi.