Hey Bambi!

Did you like your bath today?

Well, I didn’t wash you for a year and Jaejoong was kind enough to do it. He was like, “my golly, Yunho, that friggin’ deer is filthy!”

So I went, “what? It’s perfectly clean!”

And he screamed in that raspy voice, “CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S ALL BLACK AND SOOTY!? AND IS THAT GREEN THING ON HIS NOSE SNOT!?”

I retaliated with, “it’s a SHE, Jaejoong!” I was greatly offended, you see, Bambi, you are a girl! Can’t he see? When someone calls your only daughter a HE won’t you also get mad? I haven’t been so offended in my life, Bambi!

He went on screaming, “WELL I STILL THINK THAT SNOT IS YOURS BECAUSE BAMBI’S A TOY AND IT’S IMPOSSIBLE FOR TOYS TO PRODUCE THEIR OWN SNOT!” He was about to walk away but then added, “AND IT DOESN’T DROOL ALL OVER ITS FACE ON ITS OWN!”

Well, Bambi, you know how that guy is. He’s all prissy and he gets mad when he sees a fleck of dirt in the apartment. Jaejoong once chased Changmin around town just because he found bread crumbs on Changmin’s floor when he was vacuuming without Changmin knowing and he just started screaming at Changmin and Changmin was shocked and Jaejoong started to attack him with a broom and so Changmin had to run away because Jaejoong was very fast and he wasn’t even supposed to be in there because it’s not his room and guys need some privacy too you know especially Changmin and his secret stash under the bed which he thinks nobody knows but truthfully we all do.

Not that I’m complaining, Bambi, because I get to have free room cleaning service. I even get free gourmet meals when I don’t have to because Jaejoong is all passionate about food and he just can’t get a day by without fussing around the kitchen and using up all the food in the refrigerator for his masterpieces so we have to replenish our relief goods thrice a week so he won’t start yammering when he can’t find what he needs in the pantry because he used all of it up and for the sake of peace and quiet we would have to shop groceries thrice a week. We would all be dead without him feeding us anyway.

Not that I’m complaining again, Bambi, Jaejoong’s food is heaven, you should try it. It might be too spicy at times but, hey, we can live through a year without touching a single cup noodle! I have to admit having Jaejoong run the kitchen is twice as expensive as eating out in a proper restaurant (coz he is just.so.picky with his ingredients!) but atleast I can eat with you! How’s that, Bambi? Plus now you’re all sparkly clean and smelling a lot like detergent and a gallon of bleach because of him. Lemme give you a hug, baby.

So I just realized I have a lot to thank Jaejoong for, Bambi, for the two of us. He gave us more…………family time! Yes, family time. You know, father-daughter bonding.

Okay, hold on, Bambi, I just have to thank him before I forget why I should thank him coz, you know, I do forget a lot like I only have only a few seconds of memory retention before it all fades away, like….OMG have to go run for it in 3 seconds or else – later, Bambi!