My Only Love

 

I have always loved her. She means the world to me and I never want her to be hurt, that's why I gave her permission to date when

I left Korea for America. I know how lonely she can get and how much she aches behind that gorgeous smile of hers, so I want her to

be happy.

 

But of course the stubborn girl told me that she would wait for me with open arms. She said that I was the only guy she loved and

wanted to love. That did make me smile, but it also made me hurt inside. I had to leave my wonderful Minzy behind in Seoul whilst I

lived a novelists life in America.

 

What a con. I would rather be with Minzy any day, but sadly my work is here and not in Seoul. I sigh to myself, dragging a hand

through my already tossled hair and wondering what I should do. I then stare at a picture of my Minzy, smiling in that highschool

uniform from YG academy. So innocent and beautiful back then...

 

Okay, she's still innocent and beautiful, even if I don't see her anymore. But she's not as innocent as she was when I left her. The

first and only night we spent together, the night I took her as mine.

 

That memory will last in my mind until I die.

 

But I still can't believe that three years has passed. Even though I want to believe that time has passed by slowly, it really hasn't.

Anyway, if time goes by faster, then that means I will be able to meet my wonderful, gorgeous Minzy quicker. I wish I could see her in

a year or so, but that's not the case with my manager. That woman's determined to make me have all these book tours and go onto

these talk shows hosted by women who seem to drool over anymore that walks within fifty foot of them.

 

I don't want any normal woman, I just want my Minzy. I want to hold her tightly and tell her that I love her. I want to her hair

and kiss those soft lips of hers and press her body against mine. I want to feel her warmth and listen to her sweet voice calling my

name.

 

Of course I can hear Minzy’s voice. I call her every night to talk about my day, to tell her that I miss her so much and to listen to her

voice. It makes me happy to know that she listens to what I say. Hearing her voice makes everything worthwhile in my eyes.

 

As I think about Minzy, I think about our graduation. We had promised to go our separate ways and follow our dreams. I wish I had

never made that promise, because Minzy means everything to me and I would rather be poor but loved by her than be rich and live

without her. If I could give up all the riches the academy had given me then I could easily give up everything else for Minzy.

 

I want to call her and to tell her that I miss her. I miss her more than words could explain. Every time I hear her voice I just want to

get on a plane and leave America to be with her. Every time I hear her sob at the end of a call I want to pull her into my arms, kiss

her and tell her that everything is alright, that I am there for her and that I love her more than anything.

 

Sadly I am cooped up in an office all day, writing, typing, whatever, anything that includes work. But my mind never leaves the

thought of Gong Minzy. She is a permanent replay in my head, day and night.

 

As my mind drifts away from dull paperwork and onto Minzy, I can't help but think of how much men will be flirting with her. Minzy may

look innocent, but she is a beautiful woman with these lovely curves that any man would die to have on his girlfriend. This makes me

a bit angry, yes, and of course I'm possessive, I love her, for God's sake! Minzy is, well, she was, my girl.

 

But that was about three years ago... however, I still love her and I know that she loves me.

 

I turned to look at the time on the digital clock that is stationed to my desk, and saw that it was 13:00 pm on the clock. I estimated

that it would be around 22:00pm in Korea. Minzy usually stays up, waiting for me calls. I can't normally call her earlier in the day

because of the bakery she owns. It doesn't close until about 8:00pm at night, I think.

 

So I pick up my cell and dial in Miny’s number. I have memorized everything I need to know about her; her number, her birthday,

when it's her 'Lady Week'. It's weird to memorize that, but I just like knowing what events happen around my Minzy, you know?

 

After about two rings she picks up and I hear her say my name over and over again, like it's something precious to her. I love to hear

her beautiful voice, especially when she says my name in a whisper. It feels like I'm with her again, like we've never been apart for

these past three years.

 

We just talked. About work, about how our days went. Minzy told me all about her bakery and the smiling customers she sees. She

loves to see her customers and make them smile even more with her treats. Her cheerful voice fills me up to the brim. I smile

whenever I hear that voice of hers.

 

I do wish that I could be there, with her, talking to Minzy in person. I want to sit beside her and listen to her sweet voice, hold her in

my arms and kiss her. I want to lean close to her, then whisper into her ear that I love her more than she could imagine.

 

I wish for that, but I'm in America, she's in Korea. I can't do what I want, I can't see her face unless I video call her, but that's

expensive on phones and Minzy rarely uses her internet. In fact, I don't think that she has internet.

 

"I miss you." she suddenly whispers, and my heart lurches. I miss her too, and I tell her that. I can hear her voice choking, she's

crying... again. Minzy cries a lot when we talk, she's upset and I know that she wishes we were together. What wishful thinking... but

we will be together one day, Minzy... I promise. I promise with all my heart that we will meet each other again and we will be happy

when we see each other.

 

As I listen to her voice I remember the events we have been through together. I seem to reminisce a lot when talking to Minzy or

thinking of her. It's just that I love her so much and I always think about the good and the bad times... Like our graduation, she was

so happy and carefree, but she still cried a lot because she was going to miss everyone, even that weirdo teacher, Hyunsuk.

 

Such a silly girl...

 

I smile to myself, but when it comes to our goodbyes I lost that smile. I tell her that I love her with all my heart, and she repeats it,

says my name over and over again, She misses me, she wants me there. I don't think she knows just how much I want to be there,

holding her and kissing her. I just want to sit next to her and feel her warmth.

 

And when I click the end call button, I sit alone in my office, silent, a hand over my face as I stare at the desk. I never want our calls

to end, Minzy tries to make them last, she just wants to speak to me and I want to speak to her.

 

I turn my gaze to a picture on my desk, a photo booth picture that Minzy and I took a week before our graduation ceremony. Smiling,

laughing, Minzy hitting me because I kind-of tried to feel her up... good times were reflected in those silly photos of us, they echoed

our love, how happy we were. I couldn't help but smile to myself and I thought about us. How we would meet again in the future. I

would walk up to her and she would run to me, throw her arms around me and probably cry her eyes out.

 

But nonetheless, we would both be happy, ecstatically filled with joy.

 

That was the day I was waiting for... The day I would see Gong Minzy smile again...

 

But one night, our calls just ended. Minzy had left her cell at home, probably out somewhere or in the shower, and she missed my

call. I didn't know why, but I had a feeling that something had happened.

 

And the calls just stopped. Of course I tried to call her still, but her phone was either switched off or she was out. I was also a busy

man, so I sometimes couldn't call. My manuscripts were being called for, I had many deadlines to meet, book reviews, book tours,

everything, I had to do a lot. I was a busy man.

 

But not a day passed by that I never thought about her. I hoped that she was okay, that she was happy and lively like the Gong

Minzy I knew and loved.

 

Fate was cruel, but I still dreamed about that day where I would see her and hold her in my arms and treasure that smile of hers. But

I never knew that I wouldn't see that smile again...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ten Years Later...

 

 

 

 

I was back. Back in Korea, and I was going to meet my beloved Gong Minzy. It had been 13 long years, but I had waited patiently for

her. I never dated another woman because of how much I loved her. I can never betray Minzy in that way.

 

I made myself look presentable. Normal, mussed up hair, freshly washed, clean clothes, a short and a pair of pants with sneakers,

and of course the pair of earrings that she gave me for one of my birthdays.

 

I grinned. I was going to see her again. My sweet, perfect Minzy, the girl of my dreams.

 

Of course I knew where her bakery was, she had showed me it one day when we had graduated and told me that she was buying it

and turning it into a bakery. That day her eyes had sparkled and she was excited at the prospect of owning a budding business. I

knew she was destined for a great future in a bakery from then on.

 

I then my heel and left the apartment I was staying in. I had a whole speech planned. I was going to tell her I loved her so

much, that I wanted to marry her and that we would go and live together in a nice house. I planned on staying in Korea with her. I

wanted to help her with the bakery and make her happy.

 

I had it all planned out.

 

I walked down a familiar path that led to the park. I knew that Minzy’s bakery was close to the park, all I needed to do was walk

through it and I would find her. It was a Monday, so she would be working, obviously. I wondered what she would do when she saw

me. Probably drop a cake, knowing her, apologize, then blush and suddenly start crying.

 

I wanted to laugh out loud, but if I did, then people would think I was a little crazy. Oh well, maybe I am. I'm crazily in love.

 

I stuff my hands into my pockets and smile to myself a little, passing couples and kids in the park. It's a sunny day, the sakura trees

are in full bloom. I love Sakura trees, they remind me of Minzy and our first- wait, second, kiss in that tree at the Christmas party. It

also reminds me of all those days we spent under 'our' Sakura tree at school, me with my head in her lap as she smiled down at me,

then leaned down to kiss me or hit me when I did something I shouldn't have.

 

Those are some great memories.

 

I looked around the park curiously, seeing a few couples sitting on benches. Maybe that could be me and Minzy one day, sitting there,

holding each other and kissing. Our kids would be playing on the swings, teasing other kids...

 

Wow, I really do have a whole future planned, huh? I guess I must really love her.

 

And then I look ahead, and I see her standing there, right in front of me, shocked with those big, chocolate brown orbs of her wide

open, partially in an 'O' shape. It's her.

 

That is my Gong Minzy, the girl I have longed for thirteen years long years, and I have finally found her again. I smile, and walk

forwards. So does she. Then I notice something.

 

She isn't running.

 

She isn't crying.

 

She isn't smiling.

 

I stop in my tracks, worried all of a sudden as she walks onwards, and I notice that her eyes are focused forwards, not on me, but

somewhere else, and then she walks straight past me as I slowly turn around, watching her.

 

My heart aches. Because I noticed her eyes. Those eyes that were once full of happiness, but now full of pure sadness.

 

And I cried her name.

 

"Minzy!" I yelled and yelled, but not once did she turn back, not once did I hear her voice, see her smile or watch her tears. And just

like that, she was gone.

 

And that made me decide to leave Korea for good. I was returning to America, but the day before I left, I went to her bakery to see

her smile. Sadly I was not prepared to see what I did.

 

Her with another man behind that counter, his arm around her waist, smiling and hugging her, and children with them, too. My heart

ached more than anything. I had lost her. She was gone, she was with someone else.

 

And then I heard a voice, and I turned around.

 

"Daddy! Did you find her, did you find Mom? Where is she, Daddy?" my daughter asked me, holding onto my arm as I give her a small

but sad smile, and look up, pointing at the woman through the window. Pointing at Minzy... someone else's woman.

 

"Her. She is your mom. But she loves someone else, now, Yuri... Mom won't be returning to America with us." I whisper to our

daughter. She was the girl that was born through our love. My beautiful daughter who looked just like my Minzy.

 

But she wasn't my Minzy anymore... she was that mans, and he didn't know just how lucky he was to have her in his life.

 

If I had known that the last call I dialed would be the last time I heard her voice, I would have changed it all. I would have returned

to Korea immediately and brought Yuri along, too. I would have been happy with Minzy and I would be married to her now. I would

be standing there, happy.

 

But I knew that as I turned around and held Yuri’s hand, I would never see her again. I would never hear her voice, I would never

see her cry and I would never look at that smile of hers again.

 

All I had was Yuri, the reflection of Minzy’s younger self, and as I walked away from that bakery,

 

I walked away from her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My first and only love...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

End that's how it ends.. bear with me for posting angsty mindragon fics, I'm currently fond of them but I think it'll be the last FOR NOW. show some love my dear readers, the comment box is waiting :)