~ 32 ~

I rushed immediately to collect the plate’s pieces from the floor. My mom kneeled down too after a while but her hands didn’t move at all. Suddenly I noticed a tear dropping on the ground and when I lifted my head up, my mom had already covered her face. She was obviously crying. I think my previous question must’ve really shocked her. I put the rubbish down, came closer and hugged her. I didn’t mean to hurt her; I just wanted to know the truth…

She was sobbing for a long time. From time to time she was trying to get something out of but with her attempts always failed. Though my stomach was so tight from nervousness, I had to endure it until my mom would speak normally again. Her beautiful face was now all wet, I think it’s my first time her seeing her like this. She was always a cheerful woman with no worries and with full confidence. Since her only work was to take care of home, she never complained. I can describe her as a peaceful soul that avoids fights and stress as much as possible. But now…she was like a total different person.

“W-Wooyounga…” her voice was stable again.

I looked at her with questionable expression. She placed her left hand on my cheek. I could feel the warmth from her and also those trembles from her body.

“Mom, are you ok?” I asked her with concern. I could clearly see she was passing out right at this moment. I grabbed her quickly from the back to prevent from falling. Her eyes closed, her heart was beating irregularly; she fainted.

I felt like something got me. I was never in such a situation. I was so shocked my mind didn’t work properly; it didn’t know what to do. I called my mom countless times but there was no reply. She was lying in my arms and I was so useless at this moment I wished someone would be here to give me a hand.

With my shaky hands I pulled out my phone and called an ambulance. I couldn’t control my voice so it took me some time to explain this whole situation. Fortunately, I didn’t have to wait long. They came right away and took my mom to the hospital. I was beside her for all this time. I had to take care of her no matter what, I felt like doing it. Through all this years she’s been looking after me, now’s my turn to pay her back with at least this.

It was my first time in this building. Though I shouldn’t be familiar with the place, somehow, it did remind me of something. Once we got out of the vehicle, they rushed into the building. I followed them but they stopped me right in front of the reception. One of the nurses called the doctor while the other one came to me to write down the information.

She looked at me quite strangely but I just ignored that that told her my name, address, relation etc. Once she heard that she did a confused face, bowed and left fast to the staff’s room. She didn’t even tell me anything about my mom, what’s gonna happen to her now; where’s gonna be her room? the other nurses also looked at her quite surprised by her disappearance.

The hospital was so disorganized. Doctors and patients were walking or running from place to place; nurses where too busy accepting new people and answering phone to help me out here. I just had to trust them and wait for the details later on.

I sat on the chair in reception and called my dad. I didn’t know how to tell him this without getting him all nervous and panicked. I tried to do it as calmed as I could but even this didn’t work. Dad started to yell through the machine and ask me tons of questions beginning with “How has this happened?” and ending with “Don’t move! I’ll be right there!”.

Thought dad ensured me he’d be here in no time, he still didn’t appeared. It was predictable. I knew something would stop him at his work. I understood that completely but I had wished there was someone who’d share my feelings now.

I was sitting there and time was passing so slowly that at some point I thought the clock stopped working, that it was broken. Usually when you’re in a busy environment, time passes so quickly you can’t even notice it. I don’t know why it didn’t feel like it now.

After about an hour the tall old doctor came out and called me in. He leaded me to the room at the end of the corridor and let me in. I saw my mom lying on a hospital bed connected to this beeping machine which noise I really hated. Mom was cautious but her mood hasn’t brightened up.

When she saw me she got up though I could notice it was hard on her. If was really painful seeing her like this and I felt even more bad for being the cause of her state now. I moved closer to her direction but did it as slowly as time was passing today.

The doctor saw my expression and tried to cheer me up.

“Don’t worry. You’re mom’s fine” he said with a smile. “She just happened to feel shocked for a while. To fully check her state, we’re going to keep her here for one night” he continued.

To be honest, I felt relieved. I was so worried it could be something really serious. In that case I’d never forgive myself. I hate being in pain but it hurts even more when someone very close to your heart feels bad. I can’t even put this in words how precious my mom is to me. Though I’m not this type of a person who goes straight to his mom with any problems he had, I knew she knew what I felt. I think every mom have this kind of quality to take care of her own child even if it’s not showing its appreciation. I have to admit; now I feel awful for not seeing how hard my mom was working to raise me at this point.

I sat on the chair next to her bad and hold her hands. She seemed surprise but she still managed to pull her smile.

“Mom, I’m sorry…” I was able to say those few words. I felt really guilty for everything that happened today. If I hadn’t asked this stupid question, she wouldn’t be lying here now.

“Honey, why are you apologizing? I think I’m the one who should feel sorry…” she put her hand on my head said quietly.

“No you shouldn’t! I shouldn’t have asked you this stupid question!” I was about to tear up right now. She, blaming herself was the last thing I wanted.

“Wooyounga, I think you have a right to know this…” she bit her lip. She sounded really weak.

“Mom, you don’t have to force yourself now…” I tried to make it easier for her but I think she had already made her mind.

“No, I think it’s finally time for you to know the truth” she claimed.

My heart stopped for a while. In a moment I was about to hear everything that bugged me for a long time. I thought I was prepared for that but now I kind of doubt it.

“When you were 5…” my mom started but suddenly a door opened with a huge noise and my dad appeared. To my surprise, he came with Jieun. Both of them seemed really worried and concerned.

“Honey, are you ok? Where’s the doctor?” my dad asked. He was shaking all over the body and asking question after question.

I grabbed his shoulder and tried to calm him down.

“Dad, calm down. The doctor said it was just a shock and mom’s fine. She just needs to stay here for a night to check everything”

“Shock?! What do you mean by that?” my dad was turning his gaze from mom to me. It was a really awkward silence now. Both I and mom didn’t know how to answer him. We obviously looked that we wanted to hide it from him.

“Wooyoung, can you please leave me and mom for a moment now?” he must’ve noticed it was somehow involving me. I was hesitant at first. I was worried that he would be against telling me the truth, I don’t know why but I had this kind of feeling.

I didn’t want to leave my parents alone but I had no choice but to do so. I left the room and so did Jieun. We sat on the chairs right next to the room’s door. She didn’t say a word and…nor did I.

We spent like 5 minutes in this silence cause dad’s scream was hearable even here, outside the room. I needn’t have left since it wouldn’t make any difference.

“You can’t tell him anything! We promised not to tell a word until…” he’s voice was really loud. I guess I was right. Now to whole bunch of secrets and mysteries I need to add this promise now. Who did they promise that to? The doctor? I never thought my dad would agree with anyone and it’s even weirder knowing he keeps a promise till now.

“I know. Until he himself gets to it. But it’s been 14 years already! None of the memories come back!” my mom was now raising her voice. It felt really inappropriate listening to their argument, especially here in this public place.

“How come? He asked you this question so he must’ve regained some. Please, don’t interfere in this….” My dad calmed down but his voice was still high to reach here. I didn’t bother to understand this while situation anymore. Everyone around me lies and tries to fool me. I don’t know who the source is and I don’t think someone would be so nice to tell me.

“If you just saw his face when he asked me if he was sick…” my mom was sobbing hard. I couldn’t take it anymore. I just got up and went away. I headed to the cafeteria. I needed a place where I would finally organize my mind. As I heard, Jieun was following me. Good, cause I at this moment I really needed her.

The place was small but the atmosphere felt better than the rest of the building. The colors were warm and it was a space for patience family or acquaintances so it didn’t seem like a hospital here. I bought one sandwich and coffee. I placed the tray on the table Jieun had chosen before and sat.

“I’m sick and tired of all this!” I was so angry I had to spill it out. Jieun didn’t seem shocked or something. I think she was expecting this from the beginning.

“Wooyoung, it must be hard for you, but try to understand them…” she said but it didn’t actually what I wanted to hear.

“How can I? Wouldn’t you be mad if you were in my place?”

“I would. I would be angry at the whole world. But the thing is…being mad won’t solve anything” she was somehow right but still..I don’t know, I don’t know anything.

I didn’t even notice when it was already 11 pm. Though the time was passing so slowly, it still reached this time at the end.

“You’re gonna stay here all night, am I right?” she asked with a smile. I nodded. I know my dad will have some business to do so I didn’t want to leave my mom here alone.

“I knew it so…” she reached for her bad and looked for something.

“…I thought you may be needing this…” she took out a notebook. At first I didn’t recognize it but as soon as she turned it around I knew already to whom it belonged.

“Why did you bring it here?” I wondered. Do I really seem so depressed or what? I was kinda offended but somewhat I felt grateful to her.

“I just thought it would help you now. I’ve noticed you were just on the 2^nd page so it would be useful to finish that don’t you think?” she laughed and I laughed too. She had a point and I knew she was right, as always.

The cafeteria was now empty. I was sitting in this room alone holding Khun’s diary. It was so quiet and peaceful. The only sound I could hear was a tick tok of a clock placed on the wall behind the counter. There was even no lady who’d wait for customer. I was left here alone but it didn’t bother me at all.

I took a sip of my coffee and opened a notebook. Every time I read it, it would leave me crying all over my face but now I think nothing will surprise me. I turned to the 3^rd page and began to read.

What’s the date today? Never mind. I’m lost at this already so there’s no point to find out anymore :P

So, hmmmm it’s been like 2 months already. 2 months since me and Wooyoung are best friends hihi =]. To be honest, at first I felt really bad from taking all his time, but I just couldn’t make myself to leave him and vice versa.

I’ve been blaming myself for his arguments with his friends lately. I just wanted to get my friend back but I didn’t know it would lead to his “break up” with his close friends. I even considered giving him up but knowing he wouldn’t let me – it feels really great.

Though he still doesn’t remember our past, I’m so happy he’s still this cheerful Wooyoung I remembered. Though I nag him so much to try to recall his childhood, he’s so stubborn with his believes that he won’t be able to regain any memories anyways.

I knew from very beginning that my plan wouldn’t work, that he won’t remember anything even when I stick to him 24/7 for 10 or more years. I know that. But it’s not something I can give up on…

It’s been 14 years. For 14 years I’ve been missing my friend, being thousand kilometers away from him. Though I had this support from my family, it was still hard.

It took me some time to reach his family. It took me loads of time to persuade them to listen to me. It took me countless of time to ask them this favor. I’m not gonna stop since I got their trust. They believe in me, I can’t let them down.

So Woyounga, why don’t you finally rememeber? ^0^

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Here's new chapter for you guys. Sorry for the deday but my mind didnt work as I planned it to haha ^0^

Well, some mysteries are cleared now, hope you guys like this :P 

See ya next weekend :3 !

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