~ 26 ~

Today is the last day in school. Actually it’s the graduation. The day I’ve been waiting for 3 months to come is finally here but somehow I can’t be fully happy. To be honest, this whole year is like one huge pain in my heart and I’d never want to fly back into those times again but there’s something, something that tells me not to abandon the school walls and that I’ll regret it forever. 

I was never a big fan of studying though it was never a huge problem for me but high school always seemed to be this place where all of those bad memories happened. But I can’t deny that the saying “High school is the best period of your life” actually proved to be right in my case. I think I won’t ever get the chance to experience those feelings any time in the future anymore.

The watch showed the time to be 8:00 AM. The ceremony started and in few moments I will no longer be the student of this school. The principal appeared and took the position right in front of the microphone. Now he got all the attention of 200 students on him. I wasn’t actually expecting much. Every year it was the same: principal’s long speech and then the rewards for the top students. I think they will only add a graduation ceremony this time…

I was sitting next to Chan, on the other side he had Junho. Though the atmosphere between me and him is now kind of awkward it was unavoidable to meet each other since both of us were good friends with Chanana…too bad he’s just too lazy to share his for us from time to time but that’s how he is, he won’t do any exceptions.

 The three of us were sitting in a complete silence. At times like those Chan could really hide and control his silliness – sometimes he just amazes me. Junho as well – quiet like ocean, but to be honest, he was always like that. Though I cannot say he’s a totally serious person. It’s just that Junho has this Emperor-like aura around him. He always thinks before doing anything. Maybe because of this we separated from each other. Junho couldn’t understand my actions for this past year and sometimes, I have to admit, I didn’t understand them either.

The principal wasn’t even in the middle of his speech and I felt like passing out already. My eye-lids became so freaking heavy but I still managed to keep them open. I did sleep a lot though. I always get myself a 12 hour sleep one day before the last day. I know our principal gets really high during his time that’s why I try my best to overcome those few hours of torture every year. I don’t know why today I felt so sleepy. From time to time I couldn’t even control my head as it was falling to Chan’s shoulder.

“Woo, are you still alive?” he stop the silence.

“I’m just….I feel really sleepy…” I admitted. My eyes now were half closed half opened.

“I think about ¾ of the audience has already passed out so it won’t make a difference when you join them” Chan was still stiff like rock. I looked at Junho. He was also very tired but not to the point like me. I think there’s no point to continue stopping myself from sleeping. I laid my head on Chan’s shoulders and finally relaxed my whole body which had kept on giving up earlier.

Once I closed my eyes I entered into the world…the world I’ve been to before. The sunset was really beautiful and though I knew I was dreaming right now, I wished this moment to never end. I sat on the small hill with the best view of the playground. Since it was very late there was no one there except for the little boys who’d appeared in my dreams not once. I wonder why they keep on coming, why my brain gives me all those weird scenes.

This time I wasn’t alone. I brought someone with me, someone who’s been missing in my life for a quite a long while now. I placed him next to me. I could feel his warmth, his presence again. We were long at the playing boys in silence. They were spending time together like there’s no tomorrow, exactly the same way as I used to spend time with Nichkhun.

“Why did you have to leave, Khun?” I calmly asked him. This question has been torturing me since he left. I always felt pain cause there was always no answer. I turned my head and looked at Khun’s face. He was slightly smiling but his whole expression seemed like he was worried, upset. I have no information how the real Khun is feeling right now. The only one I see now is as miserable as me…

“It’s all for your own good, Wooyoung…” he said after a while. He didn’t look at me once. The only thing that grabbed his attentions was the kids.  The smaller boy who was the childhood version of me really liked the company of the bigger one. Both of them seemed very close to each other, if one went somewhere too far, the other one would cry. I guess I miss this kind of presence and in the end my dreams turn the way I wish to be here right now.

“Don’t those boys remind you of someone?” Nichkhun asked out of curiosity. I didn’t have to overthink to reply him. It was so obvious whom did he have in mind at that time.

“They’re like us. The two boys who find spending time with one another the best thing. They don’t need anything as long as they have themselves. They’re happy with no worries, no pain. Nothing can break them cause they know what they are, what they feel…” I suddenly burst into tears. I hid my face and laid my head on my knees.  I felt warm arms around my waist. Khun got me closer to him. Now I was feeling his whole body, this muscular body which used to hug me all the time, which didn’t want to let go.

“I miss you Khunnie..” I whispered still with me head on my knees and sobbing like little baby. Nichkhun sighed deeply. I no longer felt his arms. I lift my head and saw his slowly disappearing. He was fading along with the sun…he was leaving me again…

“No Khun, don’t go!” I reached for his hand but it just got through mine. I was mumbling like some psycho but I just didn’t want him to leave me anymore. Khun looked one last time at the kids and then he moved his sight on me.

“I believe in you, Woo…” those were his last words before he completely vanished. I was alone now and yet I was still in my dream. At those times like this people usually wake up all sweaty or in tears hoping the dream to be the reality. Too bad they get always mistaken…

“AAAAAAaaaaa!” I heard the loud scream. The small boy was crying. I stood up to get closer and take a better look and if only I could help with anything.

“Wooyoung, are you ok?” the taller boy rushed to his friend immediately. He kneeled down to check the condition of the other.

“I scratched my leg. It hurts!!!” the little boy was yelling and crying so much I was glad it was only two of them here. They couldn’t feel my presence at all as if I was send here only to look and watch what’s gonna happen next.

“Get on my back” the bigger boy offered. He turned back to the crying kid and prepared his hands.

“Uuum….uuumm..are you sure…?” the other one asked in a very very cute way. I guess only kids can have this adorable charm no one can resist.

“100% sure as my parents say.” He answered with an eye smile.

“My mom will be angry when she my leg…”

“Don’t worry! I’ll bring you to my house first and then send you back all healed like a brand new person” this big kid has the exact same aura as Khun. He always had a solution to a problem. Nothing was impossible for him.

As the kids were slowly slightly disappearing from the horizon, the picture was also vanishing. I woke up still on Chan’s shoulder. Now I feel fully awaken though the principal was still going on with his speech. I always feel really puzzled after such dreams. My head is full of confusions what make me hard to fall asleep again.

“Wooyoung, are you ok?” Chan asked me as soon as he saw me not sleeping anymore.

“Yeah. Why?”

He leaned towards me to tell something to my ear.

“You were whispering ‘Khun’ all the time…”

I turned whole red from embarrassment. I knew right from the beginning that this was not a good idea for me to fall asleep in such a place like this one. I closed my eyes hard but Chan only laughed.

“It’s ok, Woo. You have right to miss your best friend” he comforted me while tapping my back. I was so glad he didn’t try to pick on me or make fun of it. It was my luck I sat next to Chan, a really good luck.

The principal was now finished with his work and he was now reaching for the list of all the students’ names to call them one by one for graduation certificates and official marks. When it was Chansung’s turn, he flipped right in front of the principal. Fortunately, he managed to turn it all into funny moment so everyone just burst into laughter.

I was waiting for my turn but he read like 90% of the list and it was still not my turn. I was really worried as I was watching all of the students coming up to get their certificates except for me. I was sure I passed the last exam so why haven’t I yet received my paper? I completely lost my hopes when the principal folded back the list.

“Congratulations to all the students for passing high school. There’s one more person who we’d like to give special time right here, right at this spot. Jang Wooyoung – the best student of the year, please come up here and give the last speech your schoolmate will hear”

I was speechless. I didn’t know what to do. Damn…I don’t know what to say, why did he get me in such a huge thing? I had no option but to go there…and make a huge idiot of myself. The only thing I heard what Chan’s “Whooooooooahohohoho” when I finally reached the principal and bowed to him. He gave me my certificate and then gave me the sign to take the spot behind the mike. I just let out a big sigh before I opened my mouth to say those few sentences to make me into a complete fool now.

“All of us probably just can’t wait to leave the walls of this school and finally taste the freedom since a long while…” I started. Screw all the teachers and principal, they won’t meet us anymore; they are even likely to forget all of us so why would I care If I offend any of them?

“Those 3 years were like pain in the . Homework, teachers, boring lessons, now we’re free from all of this. But there’s this famous saying “High school is the best period of life”…most of you probably think it’s an absurd but on the other hand, won’t you admit it? We all met some awesome people here. Some of us even experienced something better and stronger that friendship. We all have friends and enemies in high school, but how would our life look like without them? So overall, we should thank to this school for all those precious memories or relationships even though most of them didn’t last. Once again, congratulations to us for finishing high school!” once I’ve done my speech, I heard the applause from all of the students. I didn’t know what got in me to say this bunch of stupid sentences and I don’t know why at some moment I started to tear. I was about to leave the spot when I notice someone, someone familiar at the back of the gym.

I couldn’t believe my eyes….”VICTORIA…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Quite long...this chapter :P I'm really glad you have patience for me. Hope you like this one and look forward to the next one sometime soon !

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