Note: Those in italic words are the past and those in normal writing style or not in italic is the present.

Park JiYeon is Rian, (that's her name in Dream High ;D  and you know that hehe )

Jiyeon/Rian’s P.O.V.

“I tried to make him remember about me but every time I try, he would just push me away like what I did to him when we were young.”  

I stared at him from a distance, afraid to get near to him and get rejected again. To be brutally honest, it was my entire fault that this happened to him. How could I not blame myself? JB saved me. I should be the one in his position. I should be the one suffering and not him.

I couldn’t help but cry helplessly as I leaned on the wall, hiding from him.

“We’ve been best friends for almost 10 years… Do I have a chance to be more than best friends with you?” He once asked when we were still in high school. We were best friends, so close that people thought we’re brothers and sisters. My parents treated him like their own son and I treated and loved him like my own brother. That was just that. I knew inside me that there would be no chance for us to be together more than that.

“You’re joking right?” I always thought he’s joking. Every time it’s about love, about his feelings for me or about being more than friends…or having romantic feelings for me. I would say he’s joking and then start laughing…

When he says those three magical words ‘I love you’, or when he gives me flowers or chocolates and a love letter… I would just…

Change the topic.

“Are you in love with JB? I heard him say he likes you…A whole lot.” One of my close girlfriends asked me. We weren’t really that close but they were the only girls who accepted me as me and even asked me to be one of them which I immediately declined.

“No,” I replied hesitantly as I looked down on the ground and then to JB who was waiting for me by the school’s date. It’s funny how I tried to avoid him ever since his confession… And yet every time he finds me, there’s always no way out for me but to act as if he never confessed.

“He’s a nerd you know. Why do you still hang out with a nerd? A major nerd! And a major Loser! Super Ugly! He’s perfect for that. Maybe you like him like secretly?” They laughed. It hurts actually. Imagine hearing those words from people about your best friend? It just hurt but I never did anything to stand up for him.

“Yeah, he’s a nerd and a loser…and ugly…I would never like someone like him…”

It took me so long to say those words confidently in front of them.

I didn't mean to say those words. They weren't true. I just thought I had to say those words to them.

They just smirked at me and then they told me to follow them and go to our class. I stayed on my spot and as I turned around to check if I could find JB still waiting for me by the gate.

He wasn’t there anymore.

The next day, he still wasn’t there. Anywhere. I’ve had no news of him. Nothing. It almost made me…insane. It made me go crazy looking for him everywhere, forcing myself to visit him at his home but couldn’t get myself to do it…Not at all. I’ve been a stupid idiot. I’ve made a fool of myself.

Then I realized he had left. He went away with his parents, to United States. He didn’t even say goodbye. He didn’t even let me know.

I wasn’t able to say goodbye.

A year later, I finally graduated in high school. I received no letters from JB, nothing, no email or anything. It’s like I never exist anymore. What had I done? I remember the last thing I’ve said about him was that he’s a nerd, and I’ll never like him…ever.

I’ve been stupid enough to say those words. Sometimes it made me think what if he heard all of it? What if?

All night, I’d cry alone in my room. Thinking of our memories together as I slowly discover inside of me what I truly feel about him. I miss him because I loved him all these time.

Things got worse when his grandparents moved to his old house. I used to visit her in the summer, until his grandmother told me something by accident maybe.

“My son was heartbroken because of you… He said you said words that hurt him deeply,” his grandmother paused and took a sip of her coffee. I could see in her eyes that she didn’t mean to reveal why his grandson left for good.

“Grandma, what are you talking about?”

“Oh well. His parents had been talking to him about going to U.S. and he always refused because he doesn’t want to leave you. Not until you broke his heart I guess. He said he’s never gonna have a chance with you.”

My heart shred into pieces.

I realized it was my entire fault and I was too late to make everything right for him and for me.

Things didn’t go well as days passed by. I stopped college when my father died and my mother lost her job. I had to work for my mother and little sister so my sister could start studying in a school someday. I started wishing JB’s on my side, to comfort me and make me feel alright for just a second.

I almost forgot I was the one who pushed him away in the first place.

I was the reason.

I wished he never fell in love with me so I wouldn’t get hurt and he wouldn’t too. If only.

After weeks of looking for a job for high school graduates, I found one in a small restaurant. They don’t pay much, but I’ve learned to enjoy my duty in their small restaurant. I wash the dishes and serve the costumers. That’s how my life turned out. I’m a waitress.

I continued to be one for almost 4 years now.

“Rian! There’s a costumer outside! Hurry up and serve him! I can’t do it right now, I’m busy!” One of the waitresses I became closed with told me while she was on the phone.

I guess being on the phone makes people busy eh?

I sighed and went outside to serve the man in black. He had blonde hair and oh, he looks exactly like a rich man. I quickly cleaned my hand and cleared my throats to welcome the man neatly and politely.

“Welcome to our small restaurant sir!” I welcomed him. That was the best shot I got.

“Sir?” I waited for the man to take his seat, but… He kept staring at me. As if he’s shocked.

“I’m… Im Jae Bum.” He stuttered.

“Oh. Call me Rian.”

“R-Rian… I want to work here. As a waiter.”

“Pardon me? You?” I looked at him from head to toe with that expression of you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me. “Really?”

“Yeah.” With that, I called our manager and then our manager hastily hired him. Just like that.

“Wow, he looks hot.” Eun Jung said behind me. She’s a waitress too.

“Yeah, he looks like my best friend.”

When I noticed I said those words, my jaw dropped. What? He looks like JB? Oh hell no. JB has a different name, I tried to think. He wears glasses, and as far as I can remember, he looked younger. Younger when I last saw him…

“No, he doesn’t look like my best friend.” I said to myself.

“Duh. That’s Im Jae Bum. He’s rich as in rich. He is just working here because his parents forced him to.”

“Wow.”

“I heard he’s a rebel which is exactly the reason why he’s hot.”

“Just go get to work,” I snapped. Urrgh. I honestly cannot bear hearing those hot words about the new guy. I grabbed the tray and put two glasses of water on it and got ready to serve the new costumers who had just arrived.

*I can do this. He’s not JB. It’s impossible. So, I should just concentrate on my own business.

“Hi,” new guy Jae Bum blocked my way hastily, giving me his wide smile that I recall somewhere but I just can’t remember who. “Let me do that for you.”

“No. You get another tray and serve someone else.”

“Rian, be nice to the new guy!” Eun Jung shouted.

“I’m trying,” but I couldn’t. I wasn’t in the mood okay? Urgh. I rolled my eyes and walked away.

“Where is she?” I heard JB asked. I stayed behind the wall, clutching my heart with my hand and covering my mouth with my other hand so he wouldn’t hear me crying.

I need to runaway now. So he wouldn’t see me. He shouldn’t see me like this.

“Rian?”

“Rian…”

Silence.

I was afraid to show up… I know he’ll just push me away. He might be looking for me right now but I know that at the moment he finds me, I’ll end up listening to his useless complaints to stop taking care of him, spying on him and stop trying.

Then it would be painful for me again.

I have no idea how Jae Bum and I got so close… We were like best friends.

I remember Eun Jung getting jealous and then telling me I’m like the luckiest girl in the world. That she envies me. But then again, she wasn’t mad. She was happy for me.

“We’re just friends okay? What’s there to be happy about?”

“Are you kidding me? You two are the best of best friends! He helps you do the dishes, everything you make he does them too and-and he always saves you from the manager or the angry costumer and even when I fight with you, he’s always on your side even though he never says it. I know it.” Eun Jung winked an eye at me.

“Impossible.” I giggled.

But she’s right. JaeBum and I are that close. He’s been nice to me. I don’t understand but the first time he came to our small restaurant he was always mean to me. He would do something wrong to the costumer and then I would end up getting scolded instead of him.

From that moment, I started hating him and we started fighting each other like cats and dogs.

It was in our day out that we got close.  Everything happened so fast. I forgot I hated him because that day, I was so happy I was with him.

That one day, I kept on imagining that he is JB. I could see JB in him…

“I’m happy being with you,” I said as I stared at the sky.

“Me too,” he said back, gazing down at me with his eyes sparkling. I stared at him and started laughing.

“I wasn’t talking to you; I was talking to the sky.”

“I wasn’t talking to you too.” He said and laughed. “I was talking to the spider on your cheek.”

“What?! Spider?! AHHH!” I started shouting and jumping while trying to get rid of that spider on my face. That was nonstop.

“Calm down! I was joking!” He said while laughing at me.

That day was one of the best days of my life. We did everything together. We played, we ate, and we walked and so on. We even went to the carnival and ride random rides.

Somehow, that very moment was like something that happened to me before. When I was with JB. But this time it’s different, I’m with Jae Bum. Someone like the adult version of JB, and someone I shouldn’t be with. Someone too rich for me to reach.

Someone I can call Mr. Impossible. Someone I learned to love. Someone I wished was JB.

Our relationship didn’t last long though.

There was this one night when he wasn’t around and I was asked to deliver pizza for him. I didn’t hesitate that opportunity to find out why he’s not around anymore.

I wanted know about his absence. However, when I got to his mansion, I found out something more. Something I never expected. Something I thought would be true, yet something I kept denying to myself.

“Are you really going to continue with that revenge thing you’re after for?” His friend asked. I just got in that moment when I realized that the door was open. No one answered my knocks, so I couldn’t hesitate or think twice. I immediately came in.

Only to overhear them talk. Trust me, I didn’t want to eavesdrop anything but I heard my name. I couldn’t resist my curiosity.

“Did you get the revenge then? Does Rian know? How did she react?”

“Relax,” Jae Bum sighed while putting his palm on his leg. “Rian doesn’t know.”

“But you still hate her? Really? Usually your feelings would just come back once you saw your first love! Your best friend who doesn’t even know you anymore! I think you should stop this and let her know.”

It suddenly hit me. He’s JB. He was my best friend.

The box of pizza fell off my trembling hands and made a thud sound. His friend and Jae Bum…JB hastily stood to see what the sound was about. Only to see me on the verge of tears whilst clutching my heart so hard I wanted to take it out.

However, that’s not what I did.

Tears fell from my eyes, sliding down my pale white cheeks. JB only stared at me, I couldn't really picture his expression that moment but I hated him. I hated to see his face, because he’s a liar.

I don’t remember the exact words I told him, but I remember what it was about. As tears continued to run down my face, I told him about how much I loved him, how much I thought Jae Bum and JB are one, how much I missed him and how much I regret not telling him I love him back. I told him that I blamed myself; I hated myself because of him. That he could’ve told me he’s JB, my best friend. He could’ve so this wouldn’t happen.

I blamed myself because I knew it was my entire fault.

Nevertheless, I blamed him too and hated him whilst hating myself as well.

He just stood there saying nothing. There were no tears at all, but I wished he cried for me and said things that could make me feel better or explain things.

Well, he told me his reason.

“You know why I left? Because my parents wanted us to move. At first I refused you know, but I realized I shouldn’t waste the opportunity to finally set you free. Because you said you’ll never like a nerd like me! Because I am just a loser….an ugly loser you’ll never fall in love with. So I thought there’s no use wasting my time with you. But I couldn’t forget about you, I couldn’t move on. I wanted just a simple revenge.”

“Well…You did it.” I said in a very low voice, I cracked a small smile on my face but behind it was sadness and anger. “Congratulations. I’m so happy for you…” Pain filled my heart when I said those words.

I should be happy for me. He finally got his revenge. He made me fall in love with him again; he made me cry again… I know he did all these because I hurt him before… I know I should understand the words he said to give me an explanation.

But it’s so hard.

I ran away from him, not caring about the rain soaking me wet. Eun Jung happened to be there and she was there to comfort me even under the rain. I let out all my anger, I cried so my heart wouldn’t feel tight anymore because it hurt so badly.

“I hate myself, I hate him!” That’s all I said to her. And after that, I moved to Busan, and tried to move on. I tried to forget about JB. I tried to forget that I did nothing wrong or that he did nothing wrong. Like, he never existed in my life at all.

But…

He keeps on following me everywhere I go.

He keeps on showing up in front of me, apologizing.

He keeps on saying ‘I love you’.

He keeps on showing off, even to the new restaurant I’m working at.

He keeps on doing things that makes me love him and at the same time, irritates me.

He keeps on making me guilty, because I should be the one apologizing to him…

Should I?

I couldn’t.

I couldn’t even look him in the eyes anymore.

I was guilty indeed.

And he sure was too.

But at least he’s apologizing,

And I’m not, I couldn’t.

One night, I was walking home. It was after the restaurant closed and soon will be open the next day. I was walking excitedly, I couldn’t wait to go home, to my small apartment and then call my mother. All of the sudden, my mood went down to zero. JB’s here again, following me and giving me some chocolates and flowers, saying sorry and kneeling down in front of me.

“You think that would work? Why don’t you just leave me alone?!” I shouted. Okay, so, I swear, I wished I didn’t shout at him. After all, he’s being sincere. I just can’t help but get mad over him although he’s just saying sorry to me…

I just can’t believe him anymore.

He should hate me.

That’s not what he’s showing me.

I guess that night was the worse night of my life. Not because he was there, but because I did something again, and I blamed myself…

If I didn’t smash the flowers and chocolates on the ground and then cross the road so I could get away from the person I couldn’t stop loving, nothing bad could have happened to JB.

But I was too late to go back to time.

It could have been me if he didn't push me away.

I could have been the one in his position.

Cars started screeching everywhere…

People shrieking about a man lying on the ground like a dead bloody body.

It was JB.

JB got hit by a truck.

“No…No!” I ran to him and bent over.

I could still remember the last words he said to me before the ambulance came rushing to take him to the hospital.

“I love you, Rian.”

I thought he’d die. His heart stopped twice. I thought I’d lose him…again. His parents also came to see what happened, I thought they’d push me away and hate me or blame me for what happened to their son because to be honest, it’s my fault.

It’s my fault.

My fault…

Nevertheless his parents wanted me to be there. They wanted me near them, so that when JB wakes up, he would smile once he sees me.

I wanted to cry and not to stop crying because my heart was aching so badly I feel like running away from my spot and hide where no one will hear or see me. I felt like crying so badly but I couldn’t, I was afraid JB’s parents would see me cry. I don’t know why…

Two hours had passed when they finally brought JB in a room. We were all so relieved to see him alive. I was so glad when he called his parents and they hugged him. He kept asking what happened, that he couldn’t recall exactly what. Then he stared at me, confused.

I wanted to say hi, and sorry.

But he talked first.

“Who are you?”

He had amnesia. He only forgot me… Memories he had that happened with me.

I was the only one that hurt him the most.

I was hugging my knees and buried my face into my knees as I started to sob like a little child.

“Rian? Are you okay?” He found me just at the wrong timing. I couldn’t really raise my head to make sure it’s him, I just know because of his voice. I didn’t want to see him too, or let him see me. I could have left his house, but I wanted to stay and spy on him if he doesn’t want me.

That was all I could do.

Suddenly, I felt his hand on my arm. It was so cold… And his voice was so cold as well.

“Look at me, Rian…”

Finally, I couldn’t resist it. His sweet voice and the desire to look at his face for as long as I want. I gazed at him with my eyes teary and red.

“It’s okay. Don’t cry,” he said, hushing me to stop crying.

“I can’t help it, JB…” I said, “It hurts knowing you don’t remember me that you hate me and you don’t want to see me ever again.”

“I thought I hate you and that I don’t want to see you ever again,” he said in a low voice. My eyes widened in surprise, I didn’t understand him at first.

“But I realize I can’t live without you.” He added.

With that, he pressed his lips against mine.

It was all so sudden that I had to pull away from the kiss, thinking it would be a prank or a dream maybe. 

“Rian, I remember you now. Everything. You made me remember. I saw all the notes you put near the wishing well, I read it all day by day because there’s always a new one day by day. That’s one reason I started to remember something that I couldn’t fully understand. But when I saw you again today, the memories began coming back to me. I didn’t have to hit my head on a big rock to remember… I just needed you so I could remember. Rian, I can remember everything now!” He exclaimed. “I love you!”

“Really?” I couldn’t believe it.

I was in a big surprise; I couldn’t move anything for a second.

“I love you too JB!” I hugged him so tight, closing my eyes shut and feeling the warmth in his arms again.

“I love you three,” he added, laughing.

“I love you four… Forever.” I added back and we started laughing, I could feel like a mystery is finally solved.

At last.

JB is back.