“Jamie, that’s NOT why you are over there!”

                I don’t know why I was so excited to tell my mother about what had happened, especially sense I didn’t wait a proper time to tell her. Usually I would work around the time zone difference to talk to mom, but I was so excited I just called right after coming back and finishing some more papers. While it was midday over here, it was almost 2 in the morning over in the states. She wasn’t a fan of calls past midnight.

“You are there to teach children and immerse yourself in the culture…”

                She began lecturing me about how little I know about my background. Because, obviously, it was my fault and not hers that she didn’t teach me hardly anything. In her mind, I was just going to take this job with a famous Korean music producer so I could gawk at pop star guys all day and mess around. She said some other stuff but she was talking too damn fast and I could only pick up bits and pieces.

“Eomma,” I sighed, “It’s not even like that. I haven’t even discussed details with him yet; there’s no guarantee that I’ll be tutoring guys. Besides, it would be really good to have more money. I won’t have to depend on Auntie so much.”

                I could hear her sigh on the other end.

“I know, I know. Just be careful…I worry, Junior.”

“Ma, please don’t call me that!” I whined.

“Wae? It’s your name, isn’t it?!” She protested. I just rolled my eyes.

“Well, I’m gonna look into it. After all, this could help me meet some people.” I suddenly grew solemn. “It gets so lonely sometimes, ma.”

                We were both quiet for a minute. I could hear her breathing on the other end, maybe thinking of something to say?

“I still don’t like this, Junior. But you decide on it.”

                I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Was Mom really letting me make a decision….for myself? And wasn’t giving me about it?!

“Uh….okay mom.”

“Now let me sleep!” She said hastily. I couldn’t help but laugh as we said our goodbyes and hung up.

 

                I laid down on my bed with my face looking to the small crack in my ceiling. Mr. Park seemed so eager to give me the job, but who’s to say that I would really get it? I took the business card out of my pocket and stared at it for a moment. Another thought came to mind: This is JinYoung Park of JYP Productions we’re talking about! There has to be a bunch of people lined up for this job! Oh God, someone could already have it by now! With that I made a grab for my cell phone and started dialing the number, praying to God that it was his cell and not some office number where they’d transfer me fifty times before actually getting me to him. The number was dialed but I slightly hesitated on the send button. But….what did I have to lose? I clicked the button and waited. One tone…….two tones…..three tones…..four tones….

“Yeoboseyo?”

“Mr. JinYoung Park? It’s Jamie, fr-from a few hours ago outside of the-“

“Jamie! Have you thought about my offer?” He seemed quite excited

“Yes, yes, sir. I would really like to discuss the details.” I found myself smiling.

***

It was Monday evening and I was waiting outside of my apartment building for a ride to the location. This was so unreal; apparently they were looking for someone as soon as possible. I didn’t even think to question what the big rush was about. I wondered why there was so much haste and if I would be good for the job. We agreed to Monday and Wednesday evenings and weekends (including Friday). There was some other guy who filled in the gap on the other days. Apparently I was going to be tutoring one of the guys in Mr. Park’s group 2pm. In all honesty, I was very much into Wonder Girls and miss A and never paid much attention to the guy group. I wasn’t even sure if I knew all their names. He said I would be instructing Junho, who was currently injured and would not be able to carry out his schedules with the guys for a while.

I grew incredibly nervous. What if they don’t like me? What if I can’t teach him? I knew I had a tendency to overthink things but just got real over here for me. Maybe I should have thought it over like Mom said. As all these thoughts were running laps around my brain I noticed a white van pulling up on the curb. I didn’t dare make a move. Last time I checked, old white vans and young females have never gone together. All of a sudden the driver of the van got out and showed himself; a cute little old Asian man.  I smiled as the image of my grandfather came to mind.

“Hwang Jamie?” He asked me nicely. After confirming my identity he smiled and opened the front door for me to get in. I don’t see why they had to bring a white van though; maybe the white van thing’s not a thing over here. He pulled off and we were on the busy afternoon streets. The little old man introduced himself as “Hyo and nothing else”. That’s literally what he said, to which I replied: “Nice to meet you Hyo And Nothing Else”. He had a hearty laugh for a guy his size. He did his best to speak English with me, but I insisted that he didn’t have to if he didn’t want to. It was so nice to finally meet people who were truly friendly to me, though.

The ride to the building wasn’t nearly as long as I thought it would be. In fact, if I had known the way, I probably could have found it myself. How on Earth did I live so close to this group and not know it? Maybe they had just moved and fan girls didn’t know about the location yet, seeing that there were none surrounding the building. Apparently Hyo And Nothing Else needed to be somewhere else, so he told me how to maneuver my way around the building to get to the boys’ apartment. I thanked him as he went on his way. Turning towards the building it didn’t seem like much. I heaved a heavy sigh.

“Okay….4^th floor, room 422. Elevator is at the very end of the hall when you turn left.”

                I kept running the directions through my head. They seemed simple enough, but my tendency to overthink things can make anything seem like it should be a big deal. When I entered the building I was immediately faced with a woman sitting at a front desk. Guess it’s not some regular apartment building, I thought to myself. I was about to carry out the instructions Hyo And Nothing Else gave me, turning to my left, when the woman at the desk caught my attention.

“Yah! Where are you going?” She asked me. She spoke so fast I could barely catch it.

“Oh, umm I was going to the fourth floor.” I answered nervously. She noticed my awkward Korean and began speaking her own awkward English.

“I need your name.” She opened a notebook on the desk, preparing to right down my name as a visitor I suppose.

“Hwang Jamison.” I answered. She gave me a funny look. Did she realize that’s a boy’s name?

“Sign.” She turned the notebook to me where I put my name in Hangul; she had filled out what time I came in and I was supposed to put what room number I was visiting. Dang, what was up with that? I saw that there was a little signature beside my name already. It was JYP’s. Thank God, I thought to myself, I did not want to have to deal with this lady. Obviously, she knew that they would be expecting company today.

“Thank you.” I replied politely before making my way back. She didn’t smile, just made some sort of noise while eyeing me up and down.

                I made my way down the hall and into the elevator, clicking on the 4. I sighed again and realized that my hands were shaking. What was I so damn nervous about? The elevator stopped at the second floor. Oh great, I thought to myself, now I have to be in the elevator with someone. That was just like me, turning normal happenings into a big, awkward deal. The doors opened and my eyes widened. The face was instantly recognizable. He was from the group! Ahhh crap but what was his name?! He was the tall and muscly one, really tanned. The guy smiled at me and greeted me and I did the same. I’ve never been the boy crazy type, especially sense I grew up with guys all my life. However, I couldn’t help but get a peek at the muscles on his sleeveless arms. I could never be with a guy like that, though. Too much appeal made me uncomfortable.

“Excuse me,” He all of a sudden began to speak to me, which made me jump a little, “You’re the new tutor, right?”

“Oh, yea ,yea. I’m Jamie.” My voice shook. I wasn’t expecting his English to be so great. Was he even from here?

“Oh, cool. I’m Taecyeon. You’re teaching Junho, huh?”

“Um, yea. That’s what Mr. Park said.” I replied.

“Ha! His English kind of .” Taecyeon chuckled.
“Oh. Well yours is pretty…perfect.” I stated, making it known how curious I was.

“Well, I lived in the States for most of my life.” He replied. That explained a lot

                We got to the fourth floor and started walking to their apartment.

“Junho stays in 420, right here with Chansung and Wooyoung. Junsu, Nichkhun and I stay in 422.” He said as he knocked on the door for me. I nodded. I could have laughed at how awkward we looked standing next to each other. His tall, hard body pretty much towering over me. If it wasn’t for my skin and hair I could have looked like his little sister or something.

                The door opened and we were greeted by another tall guy with a very defined face. He looked down at me and immediately smiled brightly.

“Annyeong! I’m Chansung.” He offered his hand. He had a body of a grown man but it took all my strength not to “aww” at his cute actions.

“I’m Jamie.” I smiled back.

                Chansung and Taecyeon began talking amongst themselves as they led me into the apartment. I was immediately hit with the smell of food, sneakers, and Boy.

“Let me go get Junho for you.” Chansung was trying to be considerate, speaking slowly. I nodded and smiled. My nervousness was starting to melt away. These guys were being so great. Chansung came back into the living room almost as fast as he left.

“Um…Hyung,” Chansung spoke quietly towards Taecyeon, “He won’t come out.”

                Taecyeon’s eyes widened as he tried to keep a calm face around me. I guess I couldn’t hide my concern, Chansung felt the need to comfort me.

“Don’t worry, noona, it’s not you.” He said nicely. I ignored the fact that he called me noona. There was no way I was older than this guy. What made him think I was, anway? I just nodded as they gestured for me to take a seat on their couch.

                I could hear words from a distant voice, a voice I was assuming to be Junho’s. He sounded pretty angry and I could only catch a couple words. I….don’t…..want, no no…..I don’t need. Ugh, what was he saying? I could hear the word ‘pity’. After that I think he said ‘Am I charity?’ I wasn’t sure what was going on. Nothing I picked up was making sense. But even if I didn’t understand his words, I got the point. He definitely wasn’t happy and maybe I shouldn’t have been there.