Letter for Wu Yifan with love.

Yifan, thank you. I really appreciate that you spend a little bit of your time to write that letter for me and for reading this letter. I know you would be surprise because I wrote back right? I’m supposed to disappear from your sight but well, I just want you to know my side story.

When I was 12, my parents decided to move. They transferred me to a prestigious school where all the kids are perfect in every aspect.  I was afraid. What will happen to me? Will I get many friends? Will anyone hate to be friend with me?

Then, there I met you. Your smiles are blinding me. I can only see you and nothing else really matter to me. You kept stealing glances and blush immediately when we make eye contacts.  Then, I saw her. Your tablemate, with her soft voice, rounded eyes and long and smooth hair, I felt an instant attraction.

After confessing to her that I like her, I felt that you seem to be distant from me. You stopped talking to me and you did not even bother to look at me anymore. Do you hate me because I like your friend? Hmm. I know.  Actually, you hate me. So all those stolen glances and your blushing face are all my imagination. Then it struck me. Why am I being like this? Why should I bother at the first place? After thinking and not sleeping for few days, I realise that actually the one I like is you not her. What I felt for her just an instant attraction and a little bit of crush.

I gather up all my courage just to say to her that I had a change of heart. I know I’m being selfish but I can’t pretend to like someone that I’m not. Now, what should I do? Confess to you that I actually like you and not her? What will other said? How come I can change my feeling so easily? Will I get bash by others?

I was so happy when you decided to confess to me. It really makes my day. I was so happy that I could die. My days were full of you, you and you and we were inseparable. You were always there when I need you and whenever I had a breakdown, you will lend me your shoulders to cry on. You are lights to my darkness and the sun to my rainy and gloomy days. Thank you for being a perfect person for me.

I remember when I had to go to a boarding school, you cried nonstop and begging me to not leave you alone. I wish I can but you know how hard for this opportunity to come by and I can’t just let it slide away. Once again, I’m being selfish, I know. It’s my nature. I’m sorry Yifan but I promise that I will always call and I will never forget you right? I did it, I didn’t break all my promises. I called you once a week and whenever I got the chance to see you, I never failed to come to see you.

After three years suffering, I decided to transfer school. I can’t live without you. I realise it. I’m sorry again that I didn’t realise it sooner. I was busy and neglected you. Then, I made an oath to redeem back all my wrongdoing. I pleaded my parents to buy me a scooter so that it will be easier to see you.

Every day, I will pick you up from school and send you back. I know that you will hate me for doing this but I will stick to my decision. At least, I tried. Thankfully, you didn’t say anything. You seem to be okay.

Calls me ert or anything but do you know that I always wonder when will you make a move to kiss me? We had been together for 4 years and you didn’t even kiss me. Are you afraid that I will hate it or even reject you? Should I make a move first? Oh, how can you be so dense, Yifan?

Finally, when we were celebrating New Year together, you make your move. Your soft lips were pressed to mine and our hands naturally intertwined together. How blissful those feelings are.  Thank you for giving me my first kiss. I wish that you will be my first in everything and we will be forever till the end.

Unfortunately, our relationship hit rock bottom. I know that you had been trying so hard to save this relationship but the problem lies in me. I was the one that change. I was the one that responsible for this. I had a change of heart again. I’m sorry.

When you were busy building up your career, I was so lonely and unhappy. You never pay attention to me as much as you did back then.  I know that your love never change but I need some attention. I need the old you. Where was the old Wu Yifan that I need? Where?

Then, I make the most unforgivable mistake. I’m seeing someone else behind your back. She gave me everything that I need and she makes me happy. I used to break her heart back then but she never holds a grudge on me. Moreover, she completes me. She accepted me as who I am and never judge me for who I am back then.

I realise that I can’t go on dating both of you at the same time and I had to make a decision as soon as possible. Then, when I was browsing through some blogs, I stumbled upon this quotes that said “If you are in love with two persons, choose the second one because if you truly love the first one, you will never fall in love with the second” . Immediately I know what I should do.

Once again, I want to say that I’m so sorry Yifan for all the things that I have done. I know I  don’t deserve your forgiveness but at least I’m trying. I’m so sorry that I hurt you. I wish that you could forget me because I don’t deserve to be remembered. I hope that you will find your happiness soon and please forget that someone name Huang Zitao used to love you. Please take a good care of yourself and don’t stress yourself with your works too much.  I’m so sorry. Please try to forgive me.

A/N: finally, i finish it. hope you guys enjoy it as much as i do. Love you