Letter for Huang Zitao

The day I met you was one of the wonderful life in my life. Our class teacher introduce you to us at the first day of school. I still remember your shy face as you introduce yourself to us. At the age of 12, I still do not know what love is but the moment I saw you, I fall in love at first sight. You are so mesmerizing yet so beautiful and no words can describe you perfectly. You were asked to sit at the empty seat at the back alone. I wish that I can accompany you but I cannot simply left my tablemate.

Then the next day, I saw you always looking at us and blush instantly whenever we make eye contact. I always hope that our feelings are mutual but unfortunately, you like her not me. I was devastated when you gave her a letter claiming that you like her. My heart broke and I wish I were not there to witness the moment you gave that letter to her.

After a few months of heartbreak and jealousy, you suddenly said to her that you reconsidered. I was so happy inside that I could die and you kept giving me hint that you like me. You like me, you like me, you like me. My world had completed and I don’t want anything else. I just need you by my side and to add my happiness more, our birthday are just 3days away from each other and we never failed to celebrate our birthday together.

We never really declared that we are an item but with the acknowledgement of being liked by you is enough for me. The whole school know about us and it even gave me a lot of feeling of secured. I know that many girls make a move on you, saying how much they like you and even gave you many presents but the most important thing is you said that your heart had been taken and you can’t accept them.  How lucky I am to be the person that stole your heart away.

When we were 13, it was unfortunate that you had to go to a boarding school. How can I live without seeing you for a day let alone months? You promised me that you will always call me and you will never forget me. I still remember that you will always called me at 7pm sharp every week and I will be crying my heart out when I missed your calls cause I know I won’t be able to hear your voice for a week.

The best decision that you make was to transfer for normal school when we were 16. I really glad that you made up your mind and persuade your parents to transfer you. You even manage to make them buy you a very cute scooter for you. I was embarrassed that you’re the one that had to pick me up from school that supposed to be me. Every day you will pick me from school and sent me home. You are the sweetest person I ever met.

The moment that I can’t forget being with you is when we had our first kiss when we were 16. I can feel my body being electrified when you kiss me.  Your soft lips were pressed by mine and our hands intertwined together. How blissful those feelings are.

At 18, our relationship begun to fall apart. I didn’t know what went wrong and whose feelings change but I still believe that we will manage it. I didn’t realise that our relationship can’t be saved anymore. I was blind to see that those feelings that we had had begun to disappear. Your feelings had change once again.

Before we reach 19, you said those words. You want to end this relationship. The relationship that we had built for 6years. You want to put an end to it. You don’t want to keep lying and you want me to realise that our relationship cannot be saved anymore. Your reasons were that you’re tired of the same routine repeatedly and I always failed to surprise you anymore. You can see through my mind and there is no surprise anymore. You are tired of living like this. You want excitement and someone that can really make you happy and unfortunately, I’m not. 

You were crying the whole time when you ask me to let you go and I can’t even understand why. You should be happy right? You will get rid of me and you can find someone that can fulfil your needs. I wanted to cry when I saw you crying but I don’t even know why my tears won’t fall. Maybe it knows that you didn’t worth it?

That was the last time I saw you and I never saw you again after that. Then, after 3-4 months after that, I was shocked to receive your wedding invitation. You are getting married. I scan through the wedding card and what shock me the most is the bride’s name.  My tablemate. Your first crush. My used to be best friend. So the whole time you were with me, do you think only about me? Do you even love me?  Do you?

I know you’re happy with your life now, but I just want you to know my feelings about you. Until now, I always love you and no one can replace you in my heart. You really had that one special place in my heart. I hope that you will be happy always and please don’t forget that someone name Wu Yifan loves you so much. Please pray for my happiness also and please do take care. I love you. 

A/N: hope you guys enjoy it as much as i do. i was thinking of doing Tao reply letter but i'm not very sure of it. please leave your comment if your want Tao to reply this letter and subscribe as well.

my heart is breaking when i wrote this.