Age 21, October: Forgetting
Do You Remember?
I don't even know how I survived that last six months.
After the EXO showcase, Hara told me I shut down from everyone. I did what I needed to do and that was it: go to school, head to work, go home. Simple as that.
I lost a few friends, due to my lack of socializing, but Hara stuck with me. She came over every once in a while to chat or take me out to lunch. She would come do homework with me and even try to get me to go to the local clubs to meet new friends. But I wasn't into it. There was something missing.
Something missing that I had for so long, now gone. Never coming back.
There were nights where I would sit in my room and stare outside, looking out at his old house and reminisce about the days we had together. Other days I would sink into my blankets and cry, not being able to understand why or how he forgot about me.
And then one day, it hit me.
How about you forget about him, too?
And that's what I did. Well, tried to do.
Slowly, over that course of six months, I took down my pictures, setting them away in small, cardboard boxes. Each photo holding a memory, a memory I would soon forget. Like he did to me.
The small keepsakes I had were packed away after the photos. The cards, ticket stubs, photo strips from the movies, and other small things, put away for no one to see.
The last things I had were the gifts on my desk.. Gifts from parties, things to do when I was sick, and the random things he would give me.
I sat down at my desk with the last cardboard box in my hands. I looked at the corner of my desk with all of his gifts on it, lightly smiling at them. I shook my head, snapping out of my memories.
You need to forget about him.
I picked up the first gift: chopsticks we got at the sushi place by the Han River. We never were able to use them, since he debuted before we got to go there together, but he promised we would eat there someday. I placed the chopsticks inside the box, chuckling as I did.
The second thing was a book. A book specifically for all the flowers I pressed throughout the years. I opened it up, skimming through the pages, my elementary school handwriting hard to read.
September 1999- First day with Joonmyun; November 1999- Found this leaf on our walk to school today. It's so red! ^^; March 2001- First flower of spring... thanks for finding it, oppa!; May 2003- It's my birthday! Joonmyun knows I love marigolds!; December 2004- Christmas flowers! My favorite!
I dropped the book into the box, wiping a tear off my cheek. I don't know why I'm crying. This is what's best for me.
I continued to clear off my desk of the gifts and memories that had been sitting there for so long. Suddenly, I heard a crash from outside. I turned around, realizing it was just thunder. I watched the rain for a moment, the drops pit-patting on the windows and all the lighting as it flashed across the night sky.
I turned back to the desk, facing the last thing I had to put in the box.
My last memory of Kim Joonmyun.
A picture frame with a photo of Joonmyun and I in it. We're smiling, sitting on a bench in front of the elementary school playground. Probably age eight or nine. I took the picture out of the frame. The frame's useful. The picture? Not so much anymore.
I flipped the picture over, revealing a note.
July 2006: I will come back. I promise. Love, Joonmyun.
More tears decided to fall as I started wiping my face with my sleeves. I placed the photo back on the desk, leaving my chair and moving towards my bed. I sat down, grabbing one of my pillows and resting my head on the top. It was cold, like no one had used it in a while. I shook my head, taking in a deep breath.
You'd come back, huh? Then why has it been seven years? Why don't you remember me anymore?
There was a screech outside. Tires, maybe. I sat up, peering out the window as a car sped off down the road.
Who's coming down the road at 2am?
I put my slippers on and left my room, heading downstairs. As I crept down, I heard footsteps from outside. Is this person coming to see one of us?
I reached the bottom of the stairs, sitting down at the bottom and waiting for someone to do something.
And then, two knocks on the door and one ring of the doorbell.
I immediately shot up, kind of in shock. I called out, "Who's there?"
A muffled reply. "Is this Baek Su Min's house?"
I scrunched my eyes. "And who's this?"
"Can you just open the door, please?"
I crept over to the door, still cautious of who it was. When I got to the doorknob, I could feel my heart beating out of my chest, my whole entire body shaking with fear and anticipation as to who this person was. I turned the doorknob slowly, opening it at a similar pace.
Outside stood a young man in dress clothes. His hair was limp, and he was wet. Soaking wet. It was hard to see him, so I the outside light.
My eyes suddenly got big when I saw who it was. "How did you know where I lived?"
He panted, his teeth chattering as he spoke. "Your pictures. I thought I would try this place out to find you."
I was trying to forget about you. "What're you doing here? It's been six months, since... well..."
"That's what I'm here for." He took a step forward, placing his hand on the opposite side of the doorknob. "We need to talk."
I tilted my head. "About what?"
"Can I come in... please?"
If you suspected it, then yes... the next chapter will be the last chapter for this story.
But I've decided to write a sequel, so it's okay! Enjoy the chapter, comment, share... and yeah!
~Carly
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