Being an idol was one the hardest path someone was willing to follow. So many complications were added to the simple word “idol”. Maintain as you true self, was so hard nowadays, being able to always smile whether you have problems or not. No all the idols were able to stand at one piece and pull the hard work they have to do.

She has always been a role model for every person around her. Such a nice, hardworking and strong girl, they said.

The younger got closer to the bed; she was there, sleeping, resting, and unaware of everything; about her accident. She was...just calm.

- How am I supposed to act in front of you? How…if you´re not even looking at me? The last time I screamed at you so badly…I´m so sorry Unnie…You have always taken care of me, and I just…I´m sorry. – Hara said, tears started to falling down from her face. You taught me how to be strong and confident, but right now, I can´t…I can´t watch you like this. – She looked at Gyuri´s face...injured, it wasn´t natural…It wasn´t Gyuri. It wasn´t the beauty she was used to see.  Hara´s started to cry out loud, screaming and cursing the situation…

- So Junhyung? He is a nice guy, he´s nice to me. But listen to me Hara, if he takes advantage of you, He won´t be able to rap anymore, alright? Or even walked…

Those words were bouncing in Hara´s head, since her relationship started; Gyuri had taking care of her. She stayed awake with her listening to her problems and issues about her relationship. How bad she felt with the fans. But now she was there…without telling her any single word, even without scolded her, just a poker face.You are so important to me Gyuri, please don´t give up. You have taught me courage to fight, when no one else will. You have taught me endurance to go on when I feel I can't any more...For fight for what I want.  I want you to be with me!  I want Park Gyuri to be healthy again! Please…- Hara lean down to kiss Gyuri forehead, but suddenly her eyes set into her lips. They were dry, like if they were dead. She didn´t want her dead, so Hara closed her eyes and kiss Gyuri´s lips for a few seconds. Sensing her leader reality.

-I love you Unnie.

Being strong wasn´t enough for life, being nice wasn´t enough for the environment and being hardworking wasn´t the meaning of success. Being all those things allow her the definition of “the perfect girl” everybody wants to have.

How is that the great Park Gyuri ended like this? I told you to be careful goddess. To be thoughtful, I told you so many times!  – Jonghyun yelled at her. You have to be Ok…you promise me to go in a date,  after your tour. I don´t want an excuse Gyuri. – Jonghyun sit in the bed, watching the medical equipment around her, all the sounds, the noisy and nasty sounds irritated him. 

- I bet you hate this; you are used to listen nice sounds…like your voice. Remember the time I sang to you?  – He looked at her, waiting for a response. Well…I remembered very well, you were blushing like crazy and I grabbed the courage to take your hand and linked with mine. – He slowly grabs Gyuri´s hand, it was hurt enough. – And then I sang lower to approach to you and you blush even more, so I laughed, but you pouted, so I took the opportunity to kiss you…and we kissed for several minutes until you said. – “We should wait to have a proper date”.- I need you to be alright, I really want that date Park Gyuri. I want another kiss or maybe…- So Jonghyun like the first time, stole a kiss from the goddess, this time was totally different, the first was a fight in their mouths, now was tender and sweet. 

- I love you Park Gyuri.

The whole KARA´s schedule was driving her crazy, she didn´t have time to anything, she wasn´t able to see her parents in orde to celebrate their anniversary.  There were a lot of rehearsing and interviews, the members were out of control, doing what they wanted to do, they didn´t listen to her; her attitude was terrible, childish and selfish. She was getting sick, literally speaking.

- You are the strongest person I ever met. Why are you like this? Are you playing with me? I have been a little rude to you lately but this isn´t the right way to gain my attention again Unnie…Is not!. – Nicole shouted Gyuri while embracing the older. You know you always right, you were right about Jinwoon but I didn´t listen to you...I´m not dissapoint on my own effort, I´m just dissapointed about me, everything related to my harsh actions against you, hurt me. I´m dying right now.- Said Nicole caressing Gyuri´s cheek. - You are my soulmate, only you. You know me better than anyone. I was rude to you…Now, you are here senseless. Please Gyuri Unnie, fight! I need you in my life, you always know what to say and how the things should be done…please don´t you ever leave me! – Cried Nicole. Then she noticed the wound in Gyuri´s arm.  It was deep, with ugly marks and blood spots. It was hard for her to see Gyuri´s condition, the goddess face was emaciated and weak. Her hands and neck were full of scratches.

- I was a stupid Gyuri Unnie, please forgive me! I need you! – Nicole eyes were filled with tears, and Gyuri´s face was full of water. – You always have been you so beautiful, always…- Nicole put her finger on Gyuri´s lips. - So tender and caring...so wonderful. I promise I will bake you a lot of muffins. - Why are you so beautiful Gyuri? I want to hear an answer. You know I´m not very patience...Please tell me something...- Later on, Nicole touch her own lips with her leader´s.

- I love you Soulmate.

Oppa I can´t do that!

Why not? Think about your fans, they will be waiting for you. They expect more about you.

Why everybody expect too much for me?

Because you are the goddess Gyuri;  that´s why.

I´m Human for god´s sakes!

- When I told you we should get married, I wasn´t joking…You could have tell me you were having problems Gyuri. You know I´m a good listener. Maybe I´m just good at that. You are the one who´s good at everything, except sports…you always screw it…how that time you hit me with the baseball ball...you were so worry about me. I felt in heaven, only because you take care of me that day. Only for being laying in your lap and feeling your fingers all over my hair. - Seungho was next to the bed, touching Gyuri´s forehead. – Even this whole situation, you are still the witty and mature woman I like, it doesn´t matter if the doctor said you will need to rest for months, I´ll be willing to take care of you.  Just to know you would be Ok. Get well Gyuri. I´ll be back, this hospital will be my second home until your recover, Ok? . – Seungho set a kiss in  Gyuri´s forehead.

- I love you Gyuri.

She didn´t understand how things were over control, she didn´t find the time to sit down and manage all the thoughts on her mind. There were a lot of things she had to arrange for the others and for her. She always handled everything inside her, she learned how to be independent and solve problems. She didn´t need or want the spotlight to know she was doing something for the group, something for her girls. But this time everybody were asking to much for her, really too much…

- Remember when I told you I was glad for “quit” being T-ara´s leader?...You told me “once a leader, always a leader”. – Eunjung walked next to the bed, grabbing Gyuri´s hand. – You aren´t just the leader of KARA, you have always being the leader of all your friends…being there to support and give advices…from behind. You see all the situations in a positive way. How´s that possible Gyuri? Not complained? Yeah, you are the best example for the girls. But you have feelings too. Your fans before seeing you as a Goddess, some of them know you are a girl, a lonely girl, who endure her own problems in order to do not affect the ones around you. – Eunjung touch Gyuri´s hair. – Remember when we go out on my car and we broke the law, for driving fast with alcohol in our veins and loud music, remember? – Enjung laughed just at the memento – The song was…perfect. – So Eunj started to sing in Gyuri´s ear.

Made a wrong turn, Once or twice
Dug my way out, Blood and fire
Bad decisions, That's alright
Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss "no way, it's all good", It didn't slow me down
Mistaken, Always second guessing
Under estimated, Look, I'm still around

Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than in' perfect.
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You're in' perfect to me….

- You are perfect to me Gyuri. – That day was very special for me, it made me realize how lucky would be the person you choose to spend the rest of your life with. Well, at least I proclaim your lips before. – Eunjung sigh for remember when she stole a few kisses from Gyuri´s lips the night they spent in Japan. – Recover quickly Gyuri. I know how strong you are, you are part of my live, after all.  – Before leave, The former leader kiss Gyuri´s lips passionately.

- I love you honey.

All the members were mad at her, she wasn´t able to arrange the last meeting. She didn´t give the proper answers in the interview and she was so tired in the photoshoot, that they have to repeat the shoot a lot of times. KARA member not look at her when she arrived home, she was doing everything human possible to have the best things for the girls. But their indifference was the hardest for her. Even harder than being called “bad leader”. She only needed her bed, but her mind was about to explode, all the staring was killing her. The best thing to do was get out of there ASAP.

- You are the leader. You know it!  I can´t be the leader. Is not an easy task.  You are the best at this execution. I know we seem bubbly, but as girls we are so complicated. I´m asking you to get up and complete your duties Park Gyuri!!. – Hammie screams at Gyuri´s ear, followed by tears. – Hammie grabbed Gyuri´s shoulders and started scream at her. –Why you always have to be this strong…WHY!! Look at you! Even with all the scars and blood all around your body, you still have that magnificent aura! Your face is still confident! WHY?!!! You always manage to handle everything, right?. Do you see what happened when you gather all the factors? It blows! And now…you are here…unconscious..in this horrible bed, with hideous scars all over you, just because you wanted to be “strong”…I wasn´t able to help you…I can´t be that strong Gyuri…you are asking me too much. I was always jealous over you capability to manage every situation with witty and courage.

Seung yeon cried, she wasn´t able to see gyuri´s face, again, she was mad at her, but she was even more mad with herself. She knew her attitude wouldn´t help. Even though she didn´t do anything to help Gyuri or talked to her. Just because it was her “duty” as the leader. Once again, she forgot…Gyuri was a human...-  The only thing I wanted you to do, was asked my hand and assistance. I just wanted to hear "Help, please" "I need you", but no...I know this is not a excuse Gyuri, I wasn´t usefull and I´m seeing the consequences but...I really wanted to hear it Gyuri. I want to hear how much you need me. I promise I would never let you pass of all this things alone again.

- I love you sister.

"Motivation is the art of getting people to do what you want them to do because they want to do it." - Dwight D. Eisenhower. She repeated  it to herself. The present she got from her mom, was filled with great phrases. She was sick to ask permission, to give a good example to others; she was nice, gentle and caring…but the whole karma thing wasn´t appreciating this. Her life was a mess, she didn´t have the time to think about her, just worry about her members, who instead of saying “thanks” they just asked for more, more useless requests and she was sick of this! Sick of the company, sick about being seen as the “bad leader” sick about being treated just as “another pretty girl” sick of the lack of freedom and time.

She wanted to make a change in her life, being someone different in order to be treated as someone new. She wanted to reborn as a person. All this thoughts ran in her mind, while driving. She wanted to change, to open her feelings with the ones who care and love her. She wanted to drop the strong image. She wanted to trust more in everyone.

She was trying to find and "answer". Watching the people on the streets and hearing how a regular life was, was enough for her. For now...Her body was exhausted. Her lack of sleeping would fix with a nap. But her senses weren´t good enough to avoid the red light…not enough for block the other car bump into hers. Not enough to cover her face from the slam. Not enough for escape the hit with the car seat and certainly not enough to stop her bleeding…

She was there, without saying a single word. Al lot of people were outside. Waiting to see Gyuri. Waiting maybe to say "goodbye" words or encouragement words. She didn´t care about others. The youngest member was kneeled next to the bed; afraid. She was afraid. In the past, when she was frightened, Gyuri spent the night with her, she used to hugged her and kiss her forehead to calm her. Gyuri used to stay awake until Jing conceived sleep. She realize how lonely she felt when Gyuri wasn´t with her. How miserable she would feel if her leader di...No!! That wasn´t a proper thought.

- I´m missing you so much. - Jing stand up to embrace Gyuri´s, placing her head in Gyuri´s chest she said. - How am I supposed to survive if my favorite Unnie is not with me?. You can´t leave me like this...You promise you would be with me, you promise you would give me advices related to dating. I can´t express how sorry I am. I just can´t. - Jing noticed the big stab in Gyuri´s neck, which didn´t ended there. She started to caressing the scar until she noticed that Gyuri was wearing a necklace...Jing wasn´t able to deliver any word. She started to cry out loud. Asking for Gyuri´s forgiveness.

- Please, don´t give up...Please...remember how you used to...sing...me...

I'm looking for a place

Searching for a face

Is anybody here I know

Cause nothings going right

And everything's a mess

And no one likes to be alone

Take me by the hand

Take me somewhere new

I don't know who you are

But I... I'm with you

I'm with you…Gyuri.

- I love you Goddess. – I know you're going to be Ok, but I’m not willing to let you lose my first kiss. - So, with hesitation the younger imitate the actions of love movies. Her first kiss with her first love. – We will be waiting for you; our dearest leader.

“We´ve got each other so we never feel lonely”

Perhaps the message from the necklace